The Word Cloud

The Literary Review awards for bad sex in fiction (the award no one wants to be nominated for) are back again. What's remarkable is that the contenders are highly respected literary authors. So how on earth could they get it so very wrong? And were their editors just too embarassed to point it out to them?

I would groan except it could be misinterpreted in these circumstances.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, check this link.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/19/bad-sex-factor-prize-shortlist

Maybe the editors were doing the literary equivalent of a Meg Ryan by letting the authors see their own words in print. But somehow I don't think editors work in that way – that's where the Literary Review performs a public service.

It's really hard to write a good sex scene. There is a discussion thread somewhere on this and Ez had a go. It is difficult to keep it in context and be good sex. I don't think a literary sex scene exists, does it?

Did anyone see the headline that named one of the contenders for the Bad Sex Award and said he was up against stiff opposition? Well I suppose he would be, wouldn't he?

Now now Tony, tee hee!

I must admit, I read that article Tony and good god, some of those sex scenes were absolute rubbish.

If anyone is interested in reading some brilliant sex scenes please check out In Bed With, a great collection of Erotica that Emma Darwin spoke about a while ago. It's a great lesson on how to write sex scenes that actually work instead of making you laugh.

Of course it could be argued that it's hard to write - full stop. Thing is, these are authors who DO know how to write but somehow when it comes to sex they seem to forget all they ever knew about crafting words. I can't believe how ghastly some of these extracts were. I mean, seriously BAD BAD BAD writing.

Is it relevant that these extracts are all by men? Or that most editors working for publishing houses are female?

I can imagine a conversation between renowned author and blushing editor going something like this ...

Editor: Um, this bit about the ... er ... tremulousness of her breasts and ... um ... this edge of the precipice thingy ... don't you think ... um ... it's a bit ...
Author: It's fabulous, isn't it, darling? Don't you just love that?
Editor: Um, well, er, yes. It's ...er ... great ...

My own tip on writing sex scenes is to keep the focus not on the sex. That is: have something else going on - a conversation, an edgy moment of some sort - which allows the sex to unroll in the background. It's actually more titillating - and you don't get tempted in by the edge of precipice type stuff. (Oh, and Debi, I bet you're right about how that editorial process works ...)

I don't think anything, except a cactus, should be described as turgid. Just saying.

I think that might hurt...not that I'm a specialist

As in all things - research is everything!

It's really hard to write a good sex scene... It is difficult to keep it in context and be good sex.

*giggles*

I'd go with this, I actually think it's incredibly easy to turn people on. You could repeat the word sex ten times in a line and, guaranteed, someone will get a stiffy ;)

But to make it a good sex scene, and to have it fit the context without detracting from it, is certainly an art unto itself.

My own tip on writing sex scenes is to keep the focus not on the sex. That is: have something else going on...

I like that advice :) And also I think there's a lot of pressure to get graphic. This is a nice quote:

"The greatest concubines in history knew that everything revealed with nothing concealed is a bore." - Geoffrey Beene

Plus it's about suspension of disbelief. I think good books, like good theatre, rely on the audience buying into where you're taking them. It's a little cruel just to chop out sex scenes and say 'here, read this!' There's a whole world of character development and plot leading up to that moment. I reckon, if you'd read the entire book, that moment wouldn't seem nearly as bad as it does when it's cut out of the boudoir and thrust into the cold light of day.

I also think it’s difficult comparing trans-genre fiction. There’s a huge amount of personal taste involved. Some people like contemporary urban sex, others like medieval gowns and swordplay *ahem*. Most people who like Sarah Waters, aren’t going to find themselves turned on by what’s on offer there – so of course it’ll seem wanting.

When it comes to sex, you've really got to be in your zone. Same with fights, anger, grief... any extreme of emotion. Break open your Stanislavski and throw yourself into the moment. When I'm writing a good sex scene, it's like I have two brain functions intertwined. I'm both there, in the moment - and above it looking down. If you get completely lost in the scene then you end up with flustered repetition, too much simile and a lot of editing to do. If you're overly objective, then it's flat - like talking your way through an instruction manual. You need to write in that space between.

And I also agree that some witty repartee can enhance the experience. If you can't write it straight-faced, then don't. But sex is important, it's the most intimate meeting of two (err, or more) characters you already know intimately.

All good advice - and sex scenes are particularly vulnerable to looking daft or cringeworthy out of context. The path between the ludicrously metaphorical and the grim plumbing is narrower than in just about any other kind of scene.

My main tips would be to try to forget that It's A Sex Scene, and just concentrate on character-in-action as you would any other scene, applying your ordinary horse-and-common sense to decidng which bits of the scene you write and how, which you show, which you tell, which you omit, and not to write it at all unless the fact that they Did It actually makes a difference by moving the emotional and practical plot on a step.

Elizabeth Benedict's The Joy of Writing Sex is a good book on it all, including dealing with the condom moment. Recommended

Oh, and thanks for passing on the recommendation for In Bed With, Miss Croft - glad it's being useful. That being published prompted a blog post here:

http://emmadarwin.typepad.com/thisitchofwriting/2008/11/writing-sex-and-ringing-tills.html

I think the #1 rule is never, ever use a metaphor for any body parts. Older male writers are particularly guilty of this one. Tom Wolfe, I'm looking at you.

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He was a pneumatic drill of a man, hammering away at her cavernous quarry ;)

In English:

He was a pneumatic drill of a man, hammering away at her cavernous quarry ;)

Ah, the moment's lost.

One more time and I swear I'm deleting my account *sigh*

Think of all the gobbletygook as foreplay leading up to that shattering culmination of your climactic sentence and leaving you now spent and lifeless, fingers limp on your keyboard, palpitations gradually receding and the glow that diffused throughout your being, dimming to little more than a beautiful memory.

I need a cigarette...

I'm very nervous about it, being a beginer. Dare I expose my first time, or rather my MC's first time?

I have a sex scenes in both my books, one contemporary and one fantasy (in an enviromental way I mean), it is hard to read them in issolation but I have not used metaphors, and a lot of swearing, after all, f words are called that for a reason! Of course, if your characters aren't the sweary type, they wouldn't use swear words, but I do also tend more to write what people say rather than what they do, I find this to be sexier than describing the ins and out of the, well, the throbbing manhood and yielding flesh, I'll show you mine if you show me yours.....

It is interesting that there is so little writing about sex on this site. Maybe it's something to do with it being a UK based site, and, of course Brits don't do ...
Seriously, though, where is it?
I have done a bit of digging, and discovered that several months ago it did exist - but tucked away in groups. Yes, there are 4 or 5 such groups; all now sadly withering away, uncared for. The most recent entry in all of these groups was 6 months ago. One has had no input for 2 years!
What a sad state of affairs.
Does no one write about sex? I do. It is a central theme of my novel; or perhaps I should say the discovery and promise of sex, because there is no actual sex - of the penetrative kind.

I am going to look into starting a new group; it's about time. Yes, it may suffer from 'not tonight Josephine', and headaches, and drinker's droop, and 'okay, but be quick, and don't mess my hair', but it may be fun - while it's young and strong. And if I look back in 2012 at my group, and it has withered away like all that preceded it, with just 2 or 3 lukewarm members, then I can say, at least, I tried.

OK Tenacityflux: here's mine. My MC has been married 4 months and been away from his wife for over 3. Here goes ...

Very nicely evocative, Eddytip. And it doesn't lose a cent in not being graphic.

Now, you have raised a point here that gives me insomnia. My writing shares with yours references to music, and not just any trashy music, but a masterpiece. I have done the same in my novel, but is it for better or worse?
Eddy, what do you think about adding that Debussy reference? What percentage of your readers will fully understand the meaning? How many of your readers know the piece? let alone have heard of Debussy?

I have musical references to Beethoven, Bruckner, Biber, and pictorial references to da Vinci, Rembrandt, Dali, Tiepolo, Goya, Bosch, Raphael, Botticelli, Balthus and Renoir. I think I may have overdone it, but I'm not taking them out. If potential readers are baffled, well, I can suggest exactly what they can do. It's called googling now, but it's simply, go and find out.

Alanboy,