The Word Cloud

Hi everyone! I was just wondering if any one has any specific techniques to choosing your opening lines. I really struggle with that first sentence to the point where I either start the story part way through and agonise over the beginning later or I end up writing something too descriptive, or vague or irrelevant making readers struggle to find a hook. Does any one else have this issue or is any one really good with openers in which case what's your secret?

You like the bell jar, which has one of the best opening lines ever: It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.

Very true. I think I have to be hooked straight away as a reader so it's probably why I get hung up on it as a writer. That's good advice. Thank you.

It's definitely important, but can be sorted at any time. It may just come to you! I think it's common to rewrite the opening sentence, paragraph and chapter several times, after the book is drafted.

What Mashie said.

Also, especially for a short story (and possibly the novel) you may consider compressing the ‘theme’ of your story into those first few sentences.

The opening sentence is always tough. Not because it's the first one you write – you almost certainly will not keep the first sentence you write of a new work in place, as is, all the way through to the final draft – but because it's the one that your reader will use to 'judge' the rest of the book. I got that 'wake up call' when some one said in a critique on a first chapter, 'and that's where I'd put the book back on the shelf and start looking for something else.' It was tough to hear but dead right. Your 'first' sentence will probably be among the last things you write because only when you've done a huge amount of leg work will you be able to judge correctly how you want to draw the reader in (the hook). So how does a hook work? Mashie's already described a brilliant example (Coincidentally, I picked The Ball Jar of the shelf in my local book store only last week and was impressed enough by the first sentence to flick through the first dozen pages on the spot).

Two thoughts, in haste:

Thank you for all the advice and the links. That's really helpful. I think Fergus hit the nail on the head with the re-write comment. I put too much emphasis on this too early on and this stops me before I've even started! I'll just write the first thing that comes into my head now and re-write (and cringe) later.

If this is your first time writing something of any length then you'll need to get used to the idea of re-writing and even ditching completely huge amounts of text (and we're talking about tens of thousands of words here). Don't worry, it's something nearly all authors do.

It may help to think of what makes your characters interesting and use that to draw in the reader. Whatever makes them stand out could be what you use to peak curiosity. At the same time remember that most people don't remember the first sentence of the books they read. The only two that I remember are "Call me Ishmael." and "Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy." I tend not to judge a book by the first sentence. By the first chapter is another story.

Personally, I try to infuse the first sentence with theme, which automatically gives it meaning.

You like the bell jar, which has one of the best opening lines ever: It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.

Why is it so good?

Well, who are the Rosenburgs? Why the word queer? The doubling of summer tells us it's going to be poetic. And the last bit draws us straight into her voice and POV. All in a single sentence. It engages the reader's curiosity three times in a row.

I'd look at which opening lines of books you like work best, and analyse why...what is the author making you, the reader, do? I think if you (we) understand this better we'll do it better.

Good luck.

Mash

Most people in the US would know who the Rosenbergs were (a husband and wife working in the Manhattan project while spying for the USSR) and when they were electrocuted, namely June 1953, so this gives a quick statement of the setting.

Ian Fleming was a master at the opening line, I've found.

Room by Emma Donoghue.

Today I'm five. I was four last night going to sleep in Wardrobe, but when I wake up in Bed in the dark I'm changed to five, abracadabra.

What a story and what a voice.

I'm just like everyone else. You begin your book, write over a hundred thousand words, pare it down and eventually start your book at chapter 3, as the first 2 chapters were all back-story and bored the pants off even you. (Still learning that lesson)
Then have headaches over that first line or two.

That first sentence can sometimes be a tough one to get over, but personally I just write anything to get the ball rolling. Afterall, you could complete the entire story, long or short, and make that opening sentence the very last thing that you alter, so you have all the time that you could wish for to perfect it if you so wish :)

I often start with dialogue. I find it helps to drop the reader straight in with the characters. May not be everyone's choice, but for me it's a useful way to introduce the world and the people at the same time.

Hi,

Thanks for the link!

Dear All He was called fifteen minutes after his scheduled appointment. Anne stood immediately. Knowing she would be hurt he gently stroked her shoulder, " I would prefer to go in alone. It's a bit of a 'man' thing," he whispered. "I'd prefer to tell you afterwards." Now I know this is cheating and not one sentence but this is my opening so I would love to know what all of you think. Would you become interested? What is he there for? Do you want to know? Three years ago I was so confident BUT now we've all done this Workshop we all without exception have learned it is NOT that easy! What we feel is good enough has been checked and critiqued by two extremely word perfect tutors. I certainly never realised adverbs were a 'no no' in professional writing so I will need to stop my habit of popping them in so often! Joyful

Can't say that overly strikes me personally, but others may disagree.

Hi Joy - there's still a week left on the course. Do you want this to be your week 6 question? If so, you'll need to post it in the group.

Dear Debi Wow, what a lot of good criticism already from Kate! I am thrilled and amazed how differently we all feel but then it's obvious. otherwise we'd all be reading the same books! Currently reading Lionel Shriver's The Mandibles guessing that for many people this would go back on the shelf. Having read Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, I smile and carry on reading because the concept/plot is so close to Ayn's story of America facing bancrupcy and total disaray. Haven't decided on my wk 6 question as there are so many pushing for attention. And I am taking note that when going through m/s I must double check the time/dates. Many thanks for your beady eye! Joy

Joy - my first thoughts (and I suspect they are not what you intended) were:

'If there's one thing I've learnt in the past 15 years, it's this; that murder really is no big deal.'