The Word Cloud

Dear all - I have a very small question on which I need your advice and instinct. I try to ignore it but it won’t go away.

It’s about speech or rather the physical indicators that go along with speech. I often wonder where to put them. Should they go after the speech that they are reacting to when it is someone else’s speech or should they go in the next paragraph before the reacting person’s speech? Here’s an example. The bolded statement is the one I’m bothered about.

Should it be:

“I need breakfast,” said Jim.

“And a wash,” said Ben. “There’s a strange line on your forehead.” Jim glanced at his reflection in the rear-view mirror of the jeep.

“Aquamarine,” he murmured and retraced the path with his thumb, erasing the faint shadow. She would be waking up.

Or should it really be:

“I need breakfast,” said Jim.

“And a wash,” said Ben. “There’s a strange line on your forehead.”

Jim glanced at his reflection in the rear-view mirror of the jeep. “Aquamarine,” he murmured and retraced the path with his thumb, erasing the faint shadow. She would be waking up.

Or does it really not matter a hoot?

Many thanks

C

“And a wash,” said Ben. “There’s a strange line on your forehead.” He adjusted the rear-view mirror of the jeep so Jim could see for himself.

“Aquamarine,” Jim murmured and retraced the path with his thumb, erasing the faint shadow.

then the bold sentence would be in the right place because it's still about the speaker.