The Word Cloud

Naming a character can have far-reaching implications.
The naming of characters could be an interesting topic in itself.
I have struggled to rename a character several times, but it has never felt right. For details, see Uncut edge>Critique, Harry's comment on my excerpt and my reply.

So, has anyone got words of wisdom – or words of foolishness – about names?

There's this theory called Morphic Resonance. Basically it means several people can have exactly the same idea without there being any connection between them. I've fallen foul of this when naming characters. I called one baddie Sarvik Kelso. I came up with this simply because of a grouping of letters on a magnetic noticeboard near where I was writing - SRVK - and an atlas was dropped on the floor with the page open on Scotland and my eye caught Kelso. Yet when I Googled this I found there's already a Sarvik Kelso in a computer game. Likewise I invented a childrens' character called Kitten Caboodle. I'd been beaten to it. I came up with a library of everything and called it The Imaginarium. Nope, loads of people had already thought of it. I even came up with a completely fictitious flying creature - I can't remember now what it was but it took several attempts to come up with a truly original name. Basically Google rains on the parades of many a writer. Perhaps you do read things and they register unconciously but naming characters is a bugger. Dickens would've packed it in if Google was around when he was writing.

Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Bradley - snobbish yet has no idea what personal hygiene is.
Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adolph - uses very clever humour which nobody else laughs at.
Alistair - likes being tied up, and really enjoys playing with train sets
Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule. Bad diet.
Angelo - Womaniser as a hobby, will eventually settle down with a boyfriend.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
Braden - Drop out and doesn't care, will set record for longest employee at McDonalds.
Christen - so straight he won't even hold his own dick in the bathroom.
Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection but wanks too much.
Jimmy - Goes to the toilet twice a night, doesn't always get up for it.
Nigel - wannabe librarian, gets an erection if he's in the same room as a woman
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks bollocks.

I do tell the odd story about retired lowlife and expert knitter Ynysybwl Wallop.
If you look at a map of South Wales, where I once lived, and Hampshire, where I live, you will appreciate why Ynysybwl Wallop is a Scotsman.

One thing I tend to do when I need a few names is to take a walk around a graveyard, the great thing is that as well as the name you normally get a line or two about character. I know it's a touch morbid but I am sure the dead don't mind.

* the little bunny leaves a chocolate egg*