How do you write a battle scene?

Sun, Jul 25 2010 12:51pm IST 1
Korinne
Korinne
42 Posts
I'm currently re-writing my first chapter and i'm struggling with the battle scene.

Those of you that read my first (and second) draft will know that this is one point that was really flawed.

How do you write a gripping battle scene that keeps the reader interested?!

HELP! :(
Sun, Jul 25 2010 02:31pm IST 2
Nashelle
Nashelle
765 Posts
Hi K,
Like any scene choose your narrator first. If you have and omnisient narrator you will have an overview of the scene and will include more aspects of it. If you see the battle through the eyes of a character then this will narrow down what bits you will write. The latter I think would be the easier way and will emerge the reader right into the action. The reader will form a picture of the scene themselves. I think we as writers forget that writing is a two-way thing. When we try to take on everything and forget about the reader writing can seem like an arduous task.
Don't know if this helps any! :)
Sun, Jul 25 2010 02:41pm IST 3
EmmaD
EmmaD
1801 Posts
Nashelle's right that point-of-view is the key. Wideangle is hard to get right and still keep it immediate and involving, and a particular character's experience of what's going on is always the best way of drawing the reader in. On the other hand, that can make it hard to convey what you need to, of the progress of the battle, that an individual can't know.

I'd suggest that there's always the option of using a third-person narrator who has an omniscient point-of-view but also can slide into the voice-and-point-of-view - the head - of a character involved in the scene. Free indirect style, in other words. Or more than one character, if you're feeling brave and want to be really grown-up about it. Though you'll have to brace yourself for the narrow-minded rule-grubbers who say it's 'not allowed'.

You might also want to think about the closely related issue of psychic distance:

http://emmadarwin.typepad.com/thisitchofwriting/psychic-distance-what-it-is-and-how-to-use-it.html

If you think in terms of a rhythm of moving inwards and outwards - then that can help a lot.
Sun, Jul 25 2010 03:33pm IST 4
Erebus
Erebus
46 Posts

I think with battle scenes you should slow it down. Break it into sections and look at improving each one. Take out parts which you don't think are vital to the storyline and finish off each section with something that will link to the next part. This will make your battle flow better.

If your struggling for ideas of what to write then try this exercise; watch a movie like Lord of the Rings, Gladiator, Braveheart, 300, Henry V (all have brilliant battle scenes) and think how you would describe it in a book. Take into consideration the sights, sounds, smells, feelings , anything worth noting. Incorporate this into your book and it should be great.

Wed, Jul 28 2010 02:25am IST 5
Babblefish
Babblefish
846 Posts
Some useful things I once read about writing battle/action scenes (Paraphrased here):

Bring the camera in. Focus on physical details (what a single arm is doing, the blood trickling down chracter A's wrist, the hair in his/her eyes sticking to her sweaty forehead, the feeling of tiny pebbles in the dirt pressing into his/her elbow as they fall down, maybe even smells). Us short sentences. Annihilate adjectives/adverbs. Select your verbs carefully- a good verb will take the place of all those descriptive words your shredding.
I think this corresponds to the bit in the movie where the camera is all zoomed in with frequent cutting corresponding to frequent full stops.
The only problem I've found with trying to apply this is that it can make all but the most epic battles incredibly short- seriously, I cut the final boss fight for an entire book down to aprox 300 words. I was gutted.

Also It depends what kind of fight your dealing with. Is this a brutal slog to the death with a pair of blunt swords? Is it a comical bar fight with characters getting biffed across the counter? Is it an elegant duel, both characters circling one another- perhaps a more poetic turn of phrase would be more appropriate in this case, talking of the singing metal, the delicate deadly dance.

I'm not really sure what you're going for here, but just remember that HOW you write sets the mood, and be very selective about what mood you're going for.
Wed, Jul 28 2010 06:15am IST 6
stephenterry
stephenterry
1702 Posts
Hi Korinne.
Try this. Put your head inside your reader. What does he/she need to know about the battle and its outcome?
Keep your focus on this. It will allow you to utilize widescreen and/or close-up, as is fitting.

Is there a surprise?
Is the main character going to win or lose?
Which other characters are integral?

I know I keep on harping about it - your readers are your audience.
Wed, Jul 28 2010 04:55pm IST 7
Korinne
Korinne
42 Posts
Thanks for the advice everyone!

This is really helpful. When I get round to re-writing the battle i'm going to take all this on board. x
Sun, Aug 1 2010 10:43pm IST 8
Valkia
Valkia
255 Posts
Treat a battle like any other event your characters endure. Be sure to keep continuity; your initially timid, shy hero does not become a bloodthirsty berserker in a moment, for example.

To do it well, you kind of have to balance two conflicting points. On one hand, you have to keep it simple. The reader needs to understand what's going on, and why it's important. On the other, you have to remember that a battle is likely to be intense, frenetic, chaotic and a naturally negative experience. By that i mean that your primary emotions are fear, confusion, anger, pain and hate. Even a seasoned soldier will find a battle to be a terrible experience, far from a walk to the shops.

Detail is important, but i dont personally think it's a good idea to be vulgar. Blood and guts arent always needed, especially if the rest of the story doesn't run on that kind of level. That said, you do need to convey the energy and impact of a battle, and you can't really skim over the violence involved.

One last thing. I haven't read your pieces, but please dont itemise your fight. There is nothing worse that reading a battle that sounds like a shopping list: "And then he hit the bad guy on the head, and then he tried to hit the other bad guy but he blocked and tried to hit him back" A blow-by-blow account is hard to keep interesting, and should probably be saved for pivotal moments of a fight, rather than the whole damn thing.

Please login or sign up to post on this network.
Click here to sign up.