The Word Cloud

The rule of thumb is don't begin a sentence with an -ing word. One specific reason is that usually the action of a sentence takes place after the -ing word chronologically. I have found many examples of when you should not begin with an -ing, but can't find one where it would be okay.

Unlocking the door, she left the room. = example of when one should not begin with an -ing.

Question 1: are there no positive examples given in grammar/writing style books or on the internet (where I've happened to look) because the author is trying to encourage the reader to just stop doing it completely?

Question 2: would the following sentence by completely acceptable?

Looking back after the event, there is a certainty that my life played out very differently as a result of what I chose.

If more context is required, I can post the complete paragraph that this sentence comes from. The story is a non-fiction piece written in the first person (past tense).

Steve - it seems to me that you so fully understand the reason for the "rule", that you are perfectly equipped to judge when it's ok to "break" it. These rules, when stated too strongly, really annoy me! I think there are lots of times when you can validly start with a participle - for example, most times when you might use "assuming" should be at the start of the sentence. "Feeling somewhat dizzy, I stumbled to my feet..." would be another quite unobjectionable one.

BUT... there is another reason why your example would not be acceptable - it's not because of the participle but because the subject of your subsequent main clause is not the subject of "Looking..." so you've created a hanging participle.

I'm also not too keen on "there is a certainty"! Would you consider, "Looking back after the event, I am certain..." This would then make the subject agree AND it would be a valid use of a sentence beginning with -ing. IMHO.

Does that make sense? Sorry if I haven't helped.

Wow Crabbit, you really know what you are talking about! I know where to come now. :) Steve, I agree with Crabbit! ;p

Crabbit and Kiki - thanks for posting so quickly. And thank you for the detail in the explanation, Crabbit. The hanging participle is spot on. Now I see it! Often I get too close to the project. The certainty bit is explained in the book because it deals very specifically with choices and outcomes with true examples that would blow you away. However, you are correct to note that certainty is certainly used controversially - haha. I am considering your suggestion very seriously, although I'd discounted that exact phrase originally as I was being brutal in removing 'I's.

Haha - I respect your work, Tony. Always.

Steve - ah, I now see that you may have a good reason for using certainty in that way. It's all about context, isn't it?

I'm interested, though, in your point about trying to reduce instances of "I". Is this because the nature of this non-fiction piece demands it (because, perhaps, it's academic / formal) or because you feel that "I" should be left out of non-fiction in general? It really does depend on the type of book, I feel. One I'm doing just now (Write To Be Published) uses "I" a lot, because it's absolutely what readers will expect from this book. I just want to be sure that you haven't put yourself in an unnecessarily tight straitjacket.

I suspect this is a matter of not wanting to begin too many sentences with I ... and looking for an alternative. Is that right, Steve?

Ah, I see... Indeed!

The work is non-fiction travel (humour) and very much non-academic/informal to appeal to a market that clearly differentiates from Bryson. Travel writing in the first person can so easily slip into becoming overwhelmed with I did this and then I did that. Regardless of whether it's good style or not, I'm challenging myself to cut out as many 'I's as possible throughout sentences anyway because I don't like word repetition.

However, if it's at the expense of creating hanging participles, then 'tis the lesser evil and the 'I's are better left in. I think I've made a booboo as I've since realised that I might not fully understand what can constitute a hanging participle. I might've done this several times. I'm rather glad I asked, and that you were on hand to help. Thank you.

Steve - do you want me to run through hanging participles? They are easy once you know what you're looking for.

Well that would be great, yes - but only if you have the time.

Hi Steve - I struggled with this (still do...) and you might want to look at this thread where Nashelle and Emma provided some extremely helpful thoughts and grammatical explanations...

Catherine - thank you very much for that. There's so much helpful stuff on the Cloud, but it helps to know exactly what you want is there for sure and where to find it.

Hi Steve, isn't writing more about appealing to your chosen readers and less about rules, rules, rules? Having always been considered 'very good' at English, I would never have tried to complete a degree in English lit. Reading is an extremely visceral form of communication, the writer either moves me or he/she doesn't, and very often I don't know why. (o.k. that didn't work, because I needed to add For me at the begining, but what the hell!). Critiquing novels etc. has never been my strong point because I did not learn all the rules.

As an avid but uneducated reader, I would not pick up on dangling thingies, split thingies or anything else. if it works it works. Some people understand English, some people experience English, and some lucky ones can do both. I experience English, if you can take me to your travel destinations, make me laugh, help me get out of my humdrum, every day existence, I'm happy.

Having read a lot of your work, and comments on this site, I would say that you are an intelligent, gifted author, if it works for you it will work for a lot of us. Relax, enjoy, you'll take us with you.
Promising which, I am leaving!

Gooding Bye Caf

Hi Steve, me again, (God, I can be a real pain when I get hooked on a subject)

First, this "rule of thumb", whose is it. In cooking, the "rule of thumb" is to cut all vegetables the same size, so that they will all be cooked at the same time. Very nice. When I'm cooking roast potatoes, I deliberately cut potatoes of different sizes, so that some will be crunchy, almost burnt, and some will be smooth. It's my cooking, it works, the people I'm aiming to please like it, stuff the rules.
For research purposes, I am re-reading "Dracula", in the last 10 minutes, since reading your blog, I have come upon the following; "Passing through this, he opened another door, and motioned me to enter." and "Having then reached my normal state, I discovered that I was half-famished with hunger; so making a hasty toilet, I went into the other room." He (good old Bramie) then starts the next three paragraphs with "I". I think Bram Stoker, got rather a lot of attention, I would like the same, what about you?
Relaxing you with thoughts. Caf

"Passing through this, he opened another door, and motioned me to enter." Can't pass through and open door at same time!


"Having then reached my normal state, I discovered that I was half-famished with hunger; OK he's reached his normal state etc and then he makes a discovery - that's doable.


so making a hasty toilet, I went into the other room." He can't make toilet and go to other room.

I'm so sorry Bram!

Caf - I like my natural writing style and apply it to all things I'm not trying to get published. Your praise of it means a lot to me, and I thank you for it. Ta, in big curly green writing. But the problem in 2010 is that book publishers can be as picky as they like - there's too much supply (writing) and relatively little demand (from publishers).

If I want to stand a cat in Battersea's chance of being published, I've got to take being treated like shit on the chin* (like every other unpublished writer is), jump through every ridiculous hoop they unfairly ask us to, and give them absolutely no reason to turn down my writing effort.

[*I love using phrases that come out wrong]

Regardless of the fact that I'm writing for a market that would rather read my style than the publisher's (I have evidential proof of this), I'm not going to get to the readers without the publisher's help, so I have to do what they say and what they want, even if I don't agree with it.

Some publishers and agents have been known to put down a manuscript when they hit the second grammatical error/imperfection. It's like a write of passage that you demonstrate you can write perfect 2010 English the way they say it should be. Once you've proven that AND given them a winning book, then they'll give you a team of editors... maybe even let you write the way you actually want to. But whilst you're still slush, if you give 'em one reason not to go with you, they're on to the next manuscript in the pile.

I'd love it if I could just do things the way I like and it all work out. I'll always write 'cause I love it and I can't stop, but I can't walk away from the publishing game without giving it my best shot.

"Regardless of the fact that I'm writing for a market that would rather read my style than the publisher's (I have evidential proof of this), I'm not going to get to the readers without the publisher's help, so I have to do what they say and what they want, even if I don't agree with it."

This, this and thrice, THIS!! I know exactly how you feel, Steve - out of 230-odd reviews for a story I published online (D&D fan fiction, don't get too excited...), about 5 0r 6 of them were negative, and that was because they didn't like some of the canon I'd changed / didn't like my MC / didn't like the black elves getting the white woman (yeah... I deleted that one. Not very nice at all!). Nearly all of them commented on how they thought my prose style was easy to read, and only one said that in chapter 2, one of the paragraphs was getting a bit long. I've got about 7 messages saved on my HD, because they were so sweet, asking me if I was a published author and if so, what books had I written so they could read them. So I know there's an audience out there for my style... but since it breaks every single arbitrary rule out there, I've got no chance, and I've had to take the long road of unlearning my own style and relearning a more socially acceptable one (much to my utter chagrin!).

I find it interesting that Caf brings up Stoker, because he (along with Lovecraft, Poe and Shelley) are the root of my problem. Nashelle will confirm (since she is the one who knocked me out of the habit): I used to begin nearly every paragraph with an 'ing' word - but I did it because that is what I *read*. I *like* that old gothic style, so I mimicked it - boy, was that ever a mistake. I have a bit of a problem with the austerity of modern prose (and tend not to read a lot of it), but there are authors out there writing in an older gothic style and getting published - a lot of the Steampunk genre is very gothic and I am sure if those authors asked for critique here they'd get a right royal pasting... but there does seem to be a market out there for these styles. Hell, the Lovecraftian style has entire *publishers* devoted to it! So don't lose heart! :)

Having read all these comments, I am now depressed. Writing is for the birds, I am going to be a publisher instead. Getting into this market is impossible!! Slitting wrists as we speak (Oh, and Steve, I walked all around town the other day with shit on my chin, it was most embarrassing!). Changing the subject, does anyone else get traumurgled when they read that someone has been burglarised? O.K., sorry ignore that this is Steve's forum.

On my posts, you can write what you like, thread-jack, change topic, go off on tangents... it's all about writing in the end and you get much more out of a post if you don't stick to the subject. Go for it!

I believe it is necessary for every unpublished writer wanting to be published to go through the trauma of shit on the chin. By that, I mean the realisation of how hard it is to get published. I'm genuinely sorry if it's this thread that's made that click, but it might take you a step closer to your dream in the long run.

Don't you worry, Steve, I can take shit on the chin alright! After all I'm only nearly fifty, I'll just give up my life long dream of getting published and do something else. In fact I've got the job section of the paper open right now. Hah!

......Er no, too old.......nah, not qualified enough...........er no, ...................erm no, not that either....er, um
Oh dear!

Writer it is, then! You've already made it on to the favourite writing on the Cloud list, so you're well ahead of the game.

Steve, worry not, we are correct and "they" are wrong. Listen to this, it's from my 300 hundred page Hamlyn pocket guide to English usage, published in 1979!!

There are some participles which may be used without being related to a particular noun or pronoun, such as considering, owing to and concerning. "Considering the strain he had undergone, his appearance was normal."

How cool is that, it's in my book, the publishers can get stuffed! God I hate when I'm always right, me with my English Comprehensive School education. The other example given is;
Crossing the road, a lorry knocked him down.
This means grammatically that is was the lorry which was crossing the road. The sentence should be rephrased thus:
Crossing the road, he was knocked down by a lorry.

I would have thought a better sentence would have been.

Before crossing the road he looked right, then left, then right again, and wasn't run over by a lorry. (Or the other way round, I'm dyslexic, I can never remember)

But you see that's just my seat of the pants style of writing, and as you so rightly say, it's got me on to the favourite writing on the Cloud list.

Anyway, I'm just so excited, with that out of the way, it's back to the writing.

Anyone know what happened to Crabbit Old Bat? I wanted to thank her for helping out on this thread, but it looks like she's disappeared off the Cloud.

Caf [I typed Carf, then] - If you're a pretty good writer already, then I reckon it's hard for someone to tell you anything other than to follow your own instincts on everything - grammar, punctuation, plot, the lot. The only individuals who have grounds for a good call on changing your writing are the agent who signs you or the publisher who wants to publish your book. Unless it's the ones who are actually giving you/getting you money for your work, how does anyone else know what their exact mind is?

There's good general advice, sure, but I've seen loads of terrible advice dished out by people claiming to know what's best that is actually contradictory to the truth. Some of the advice I've seen that is just plain wrong actually came from people paid good money to give it, and who should've known better.