The Word Cloud

If you're just here for a quick shag, with no messing around (or rather, just to mess around), step into our nookie closet. In the rear.

Goodness me. A cupboard for shagging and everything. I can't possibly join though- the other half wouldn't approve. He's from Braveheart country and might turn up in a kilt brandishing weaponry.
Would probably ruin the ambience altogether.....
You could start a problem page section where your members can seek advice on unrequited love and sexual failure. I would enjoy that- it might wean me off Dear Deidre's problem page
Donna

Aye DMC, but there's more than one type of weaponry us Scots are expert in brandishing...

;c)

Catapults?

Trebuchet's - far more flamboyant - they look like they carry a greater, er payload, but ultimately disappointing...

C'mon you prudes... it's about time someone was properly naughty in here.

Okay, okay. I'll do it.
Inzie! I want to know how big little Inzie is.

If I'm to drag you in here, I need to know what I can expect.

And I also want to know how good a kisser you are. Please elaborate in detail, if you're man enough!

er trebuchet and sink plunger.

oh, and there's no such thing as little inzie

New items for the closet:

Leopard-skin bed cover
14 metres of chains
Love hamock
Whip
Dom Per '75 on ice with two flutes
Three gimp masks
Scented candles
Silk blindfolds
Fluffy pink handcuffs
A vat of lubricant

And a walk-in wardrobe:

Galdiator costume
4 Vampire outfits
Princess Leia
Scooby-Doo costume
Xena Warrior Princess
PVC catsuit
Vixen nurse
Clownsuit
Sigourney Weaver Aliens robotic lifting armour
Classic French Maid (miniskirt slightly torn)
26 togas
Gorilla monkeysuit
Wonder Woman outfit
And a naughty Swedish tart pigtails wig.

Oh, and a Gladiator costume, in case you don't know what a Galdiator is.

And a fire extinguisher.

partridge in a pear tree?

Thank you, Steve. I will be making use of all of these except the lube. If the man is hot enough I won't be needing it.

Okay, Chris, you describe your, uh, little big thingy as a trebuchet and you describe a trebuchet as flamboyant, can carry a great load but is ultimately disappointing. Things are not looking good for you.

You kiss like a sink plunger? You mean you suck the shit out of a girl? Tsk tsk tsk. Things are definitely not looking good for you.

At least you're hung like a bull. Tell me something, what does your thumb measure from base to tip?

That's not the measurement you should be interested in - you should be more concerned with the measurement from the tip of the middle finger down to where the hand joins the wrist.

Okay, so are you going to enlighten me or am I going to have to beg?

And be truthful!

Marion, old friend, old chum, do you honestly think that I'm going to divulge such intimate details? You win, I'm bailing....

I'm rather worried about anyone who wants the Scooby Doo costume and let's not even discuss the Clown suit (clowns are creepy!!!! eeeek)

Why not? Everyone's horribly interested.

I'm only teasing ... you were supposed to say something like 14 across and 14 wide.

I want the Scooby Doo! Didn't even notice it was on the list. Shows you how well I read.

No fair! I'm putting my halo back on, tarnished as it is ... pooh.

MARION! Where are you? Wanted to ask if you were coming out to play....