The Word Cloud

Clouds and Rings of smoke fills the air

Various shapes and sizes, the incomplete building is their lair

He is often found with this bad crew

He changes girls, he always has them brand new

His boldness, confidence and swagger grew

He could get just any girl he desires and wanted

Naija, Yankee and even those that were janded

Another puff of it and he is in ecstasy

He is surely higher than the heavenly bodies

A loud bang on the door is heard to interrupt this divine feeling

Not even the sound of his fathers keys jingling

Frank what is going on in there?

The question of a curious father

But all this falls on deaf ears

Frank is high, high like a kite

So high, he is like an eagle in flight

The door breaks open eventually

Brother, Mother and Sister were in a state of melancholy

Father takes a look at Frank a spitting image of him

His son looks so pale and frail

Frank had taken his last puff

He took the last of this hard stuff

He had smoked himself out of this universe

And now all we hear is a sad Sunday bible verse

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

What a lovely soul his family has lost

He was feeble, frail and young

This boy of thirteen has gone to the great beyond

Hi guys. I'm new to the cloud and I just want your comments on this and also how I can improve my writing. Thanks for your comments in advance.

Hi Opianto,
Welcome to the Cloud.

If you are looking for comments and advice on your writing, you would be better off posting this in the Critiques part of the forum. That's where people look if they want to read and comment on fiction.

It's the first section on the Forum Home.

Best wishes,

Georgia Girl