The Word Cloud

I would like to set a challenge/competition slightly nearer my own heart than maybe most. As those of you who have bared witness to my stories and tales, and certainly after being named the winner of last month’s comp- most of my writing involves death.

Now maybe it’s just a residue of Halloween or my own perception on the afterlife, but this month’s challenge will be reincarnation.

The winner will be judged on three areas.

1. Flow from one character into the other.

2. Creativity.

3. Fun and pleasure to read.

The only MUST within the story should be a clear definition of the reincarnation.

Enjoy have fun and try to keep to the 200 word max

Jak

Bzzzzzz, BUZZ, bzzzzzz.

‘Hey diddledy-dee a hornet’s life for me,’ I sang as I soared through the powder blue sky munching on an aphid. Today was going to be a good ‘un, I could feel it in my stripes.

‘Whoa! Just look at that baby,’ and I back pedalled furiously, ‘Oooh, gimme nectar,’ I cooed at a bursting lily, laden with sunset orange pollen. I could almost smell its heady perfume, taste it sweetness.

‘Must have nectar,’ I muttered, mesmerised for an instant then I buzzed at breakneck speed, my eyes drawn to my prize like a hawk’s to a vole. The world whizzed by, but nothing mattered, I wanted to bury my face in her ivory body, drink from her juices, languish in her hypnotic scent. Faster ... nearer... faster ... SPLAT!

‘Holy fuuuuck, who put that there?’

As I slid down the glass my life flashed before me, the other larvae wriggling beside me, the day I raided the wasps nest and earned another stripe, then nothing.

‘Hey, what’s that bright light?’ I whispered, ‘and what’s all that tickling?’

I opened my eyes to see legs, a hundred of ‘em.

‘Shit! Laboutins are gonna cost me,’ I groaned.

I promised you that we would never be parted.

I’m going to break that promise. It seemed so certain when I made it, so real, but I was foolish. That promise was not mine to make; never is such a very long time.

I can no longer see you. A time ago you took my hand but I can no longer feel you. You were speaking to me but I can no longer hear you. Perhaps, now you are leaning close, whispering your goodbye. Your breath may be on my cheek, your kiss on my lips but already you are a memory.

I promised you that we would never be parted but some promises should not be made. I made a promise I could never keep.

I cry and you pick me up. I bunch a tiny fist in the fabric of your blouse.

“He’s adorable. He must be a great comfort to you.”

You turn to face the woman who spoke. “He is. He has his father’s eyes.” I tug on your blouse and you look down at me.

“I’ll never let him go.”

Perpetual Soldier:

Gettysburg was bad for me. I knew so many on both sides….It took ages to pass after getting hit…and I was so happy at home in Georgia. I wish that life had lasted longer. Too young…

I did a bit better in South Africa. Disease though….no real way to go at all. Lovely country and I would have liked to have stayed there….well, above ground anyway…

Another quick one was on the Marne in 1918. I hoped I would survive that one. I was only seventeen again when the shells came…..and so close to the end as well…

Belgium in the winter of ’44….that was bad….too cold to bleed out after getting hit….Unnecessary really….two days in the snow before finally slipping away….

I had a great long run after that one… and well deserved too….I was a senior chief bomb tech when that Skyhaw dropped a 500 pounder on us off the Falklands… but when you go later you leave a family behind…. Watching her get the notification was worse than getting hit…..

And now here in the Helmand……….

.

MOUNTAIN GOAT

Marcos threw a small bunch of white daisies onto the coffin and wiped away a tear. Theirs had been a long, happy life together. Maria and he were old souls, who'd met at various points in the eternal cycle, but they had no unfinished business and would not meet again as humans.

He accepted condolences then wended his way home.

The house was too quiet and Marcos was restless. He strode out into the olive groves to walk in the soothing beauty of nature. A tinkle of bells signalled a herd of mountain goats ahead and he smiled. The hardy, nimble animals, so gentle and content with their uncomplicated lives, had been Maria's favourites.

A newborn goat lay in the shade of an ancient olive. He knelt and looked directly into its haunting, pale eyes and knew.

'Maria,' he whispered, 'you were granted your dying wish.'

The baby nuzzled his cheek and the gesture bestowed his own soul with peace.

Marcos returned home humming and with a youthful spring in his step. He hoped that his Maria: his mountain goat would one day be granted her second wish - to spend some time on earth as a simple, innocent white daisy.

Some dude in a white collar read me my rights or something. I didn’t listen.
After the vicar left, I died. I knew I’d died because I could no longer hear my stereo blasting ‘afterlife’ by avenged.
Death was simple. It was painless and I was not scared. I did hear a voice above me, but I couldn’t hear what was being said. I was suddenly ripped from this black abyss and thrust into the light.
When I was able to open my eyes I was confused. I looked up to see a woman with eyes filled with such love that it hurt me.
I didn’t understand how I’d come to be here but the look in her eyes made me want to stay forever.
Faster than I was able to react, I was taken from her arms and carried to a cot. It wasn’t far from where this woman was laying, but it was far enough.
I felt a lump form in my throat and tears well up in my eyes.
She was my mother and I longed to be close to her.
This world is new to me, but I feel like I’ve known love for longer than I’ve lived.

Dear Jonathan, I am sorry to write to you like this. It seems cruel not to tell you in person. I am so excited really, I hope you understand why. The thing is I couldn't stop myself. I had to do it. I thought you deserved to know the truth, and I swear I am not delusional. Please read on...don't give up on me yet. The other night - I killed her. I know I told you it was an accident, but I meant to kill her. I had to pretend that I didn't know what had happened, I just couldn't tell you the truth yet. The thing is she will be reborn, as a dolphin - she always loved dolphins. And soon I will join her, I know that's what my soul wants for me. I have dreamed of a new life for so long. It would be great if you came too - but that's your decision. Come and see us sometime, I'm sure we'll be in Florida - I know that's where we'll be reborn. Don't be sad...you know where we are. And we will have a huge family now - like we always wanted. Love always, Your wife Sally

The pain has finally gone - it's amazing. One moment hell, the next...I don't know. Am I floating? Where am I? This place is strange, it's so white, so pure. Bright. I can't see anything. I must be in a coma. I can't be dead. I didn't die - did I? What now? I'm moving again. No, not moving. I'm flying. This is so cool. If only I could tell Lisa now, if only she could see me. Wow...what was that? On the move again, but I'm getting faster and faster - I'm going to crash. Hello. Is anyone there? It's so black now. But, it's really warm and cosy - I like this. Oh no, moving again. Ouch, that hurts my head. I'm being crushed alive. Bright light, bright light...oh, oh. What an ugly guy. And what is that he is wearing. Oh no, I'm...I'm a baby. Look at me. Now I know why babies cry so much. Oh, but who is this. Oh, I like her. She's nice...I could get used to this.

Reincarnation

Stop flapping those dirty-white wings at me, it’s unhealthy – I catch cold easily. And then flu, and before you know it, it’s pneumonia ... with complications, Gabby. That’s how I landed up here on this soddin’ cloud.

I’m looking at the pics, ok? Bloody clever, that. I can choose (within reason) and a low-soul cost.

Let me get it right. Two minutes before conception I get blasted up a fallopian tube, hitch a ride on a bucking bronco, and get egg all over my face when we break into the fortress.

Sounds like fun.

I tried the macho bit last time – and it didn’t work out ... took a left-hander, and gunned into a faggot. That’s how I caught a cold – sniffing bloody pansies. This time, I’m taking out death insurance on a female. A return ticket, if she takes up writing memoirs or horse-riding, ok?

All right, you’ve got to tune your harp. Let’s see. Yeah, this outstanding one with the big knockdown offer, only two souls. But I don’t like the name, Katie Price. Can’t you think of anything more exotic? What’s that?

Jordan.

Yeah, that floats my boat...

You know how it is. A friend casually asks if you would scatter their ashes when they ‘go’, and you casually reply ‘sure’. But, one day, your friend does ‘go’, and a man presents you with an urn, the size of the FA Cup. You drive to the designated place, but as you park in the visitor centre, a school coach unloads its noisy occupants and you wish you’d come at a quieter time. But you think of your friend and shrug ‘oh well’. You carry the urn, wrapped in a bin liner, to the place of outstanding natural beauty. You sit near the bottom of the waterfall. People peer down and children rush around. The water pours into the pool below. You fall into a trance, and think about your friend. Suddenly you stand up, unscrew the lid, and tip the contents into the pool. Some children gather to look at the floating ashes. A spiky-haired boy frowns at you and asks ‘are you mental?’ You blush and reply ‘that is my friend’. You look back and the ashes have gone. But a duck has appeared. Out of nowhere. And as it swims away, you know how it is - you think “I wonder?”.

So November has come to an end, and not many entry's. Maybe that might have something to do with NaNoWrMo or Christmas around the corner.

But with Great pleasure I crown Noodledoodle as the winner.

Congratulations Noodledoodle, and enjoy your victory.

Thanking all who entered Jak. x

Congratulations, Noodledoodle!

Splendid news ND - a well deserved winner. I hope you'll give us more feedback on your comp than Jak did.

That was disappointing.
Cheers
stephen.

Nice one Noodle. And Stephen, never fear, I will comment on your story. I thought it had a really good, pacy feel to it, as though the reincarnatee had overdosed on caffeine. I think you make the reader work quite hard, but at the same time you do give enough for us to work out what’s going on. There were two bits that I didn’t quite get: the phrase “low-soul cost” and the bit about taking out insurance on a female. But there was some really clever use of language, and phrases like “big knock…” led me to expect something else, especially when applied to Jordan. Was that one intentional?

Thanks Jak! St & ron cheers - up for something festive?

!!!Congratulations Noodle!!!

That's my girl ;0)

Better late than never. Congrats Noodle!