The Word Cloud

Help.... I am writing a new short story about ballet- well I am stuck with making the movements sound beautiful and natural -

Facing the audience with a soft grin he then looked to the right. He held his left arm out to the side, his palm facing downwards. He raised his other arm, his hazel brown eyes sparkling looking past it. As he raised his other arm he bent the hand at the palm so his fingers were facing upwards. Lowering his raised arm, his forehead, cheeks and neck dewy from sweat, eyes lowered he held them in first position. He looked up out to where the audience was, a soft smile on his face as he held his arms in second position turning his palms upward.

it sounds a bit mechanical but I want to know the names of the positions because I think you should if you are writing about dance because its important! can anyone help ?

First things first whose point of view are we in? What is seen and experienced by, say, someone in te audience will be very different to what is seen and experienced by the dancer. I person watching - unless very close and in broad daylight - would not notice the colour of the dancers eyes. If you are in the dancers pov he could not mention his own eyes. Point of view has the biggest baring on the story but it is often something that writers forget about.

Katie, the basic arm positions in ballet are called 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th. All ballet dance uses these in one combination or another. See here: http://dance.about.com/od/ballet/ss/Arm_Positions.htm The five basic foot positions are also on that site.
However, while you probably need to know them to write about ballet, I'm not sure your readers do - as you say, it will sound mechanical. Perhaps write about the emotion that they evoke in the viewer - or the other dancers? That's what matters, isn't it? That they're graceful/athletic/dainty/skilled/beautiful? The 'what it does to you' rather than the 'how-it's-done'.

Katie, I think Nashelle and Whisks are absolutely right - the key to this is to decide whether you're writing in the dancer's point of view (in which case he'd think in terms of what he's doing, in his dancery way, using dancer's vocabulary but all from inside himself) or from the audience's point of view (in which case they might not know the technical terms but would see his brown eyes, etc.)

You might find my posts on point of view and narrators useful:

http://emmadarwin.typepad.com/thisitchofwriting/2011/10/point-of-view-narrators-1-the-basics.html

I still have one question- since the ballets all have certain movements how do you add them without being mechanical because although I need to show emotion ... I am following a chereography ....

Again, Katie, this goes back to pov and the personality of the pov character, what one person perceves/feels will be different from the next.

Here again, I think point of view is the key. If you decide which head you're inahbiting, then what bits of choreography are narrated, and in what terms, will come clear.

Also, don't forget you don't need to narrate the whole dance, step by step. You're telling a story, and what and how you show us of the action (audience as well as dancer) will depend on what the story that you're telling.

For example, if his ex-lover is standing in the wings then pas de chat that brings him face to face with her is tremendously important; before it, he'll be knowing that it's coming, and wondering if she'll be there.... and then she's there, two feet away crying (or laughing).... and then the choreography means he jetés away to the other side of the stage, where his new lover in the corps de ballet is standing, and he knows that his ex can see them as they join hands and do what the choreography demands, and the new girl knows it, and goes all self-conscious and stumbles... But he might be too preoccupied with all that to specially notice that the audience is hugely enthusiastic tonight, or not... Whereas another dancer who's worried about whether she's going to keep his job with the ballet might be noticing every cough and snuffle, and counting how many curtain calls there are, and be oblivious to the love-triangle...

Some of the way you narrate all that would include the ballet terms, and some wouldn't - it depends on the point-of-view. I know my daughter had a collection of ballet stories (not the stories of the ballets, but stories about people learning/doing ballet) when she was a bit younger, which would be worth a look (I bet your library would have something like that). Even though they're written for children and younger teens, it would give you an idea of how to use technical terms in the story so they they make it more believable, but don't sink it.

This kind of thing: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Darcey-Bussells-Favourite-Ballet-Stories/dp/0099417596

They're not all great writers, but they're usually good storytellers.

Its in the point of view of the dancer ...