The Word Cloud

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16 Member

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  by Petermack 1 year ago

  Hello is there anybody out there? echo!
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  by Petermack 1 year ago

  Hello there, I have some ideas around sketches but with nowhere to go. Tried newsjack and heard no more!
  I think my stuff is good but I'm slightly biased. When I see some of the junk on TV I think - I could do better than that. But the burning question is how do you break through? Something I guess we all want to know otherwise we wouldn't be here. I've written stuff over the past few years but the problem is it either dates or the character on Eastenders get killed off. Whilst ther is hope in all of soaps characters being killed off - I don't think that it will happen. Was it Marx who said that religion is the opium of the masses? If he were alive today would he have said that soaps are the opium of the masses!!!! So I joined wordcloud and this group for ideas, quite selfish I agree but as I said earlier thats why we are all here. The stuff I have done is fairly mainstream - just looking for an outlet and feedback! I want to boldly go where I haven't been before and like everyone else get my foot in the door - instaed of my mouth.
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  by JM 2 years ago

  Positive feedback from the show's writers, but didn't get on air (Watson's Wind Up) this week.
  
  * And on to news from the Scottish BAFTAs this week, and the political satire show 'In the Loop' has been nominated for three awards, including Peter Capaldi for best actor. Meanwhile Gordon Brown has been nominated for the 'worst actor' award for his portrayal of a Prime Minister.
  
  Up for the best actress award is Stella Gonet of Holby City, New Town actress Daniela Nardini and Hazel Blears for her portrayal as an MP who fights for the people regardless of the expense.
  
  * A new case of foot in mouth has been reported this week in Kensington, London. DEFRA have confirmed the source and sealed off Number 2 Derry Street, otherwise known as the home of the Daily Mail. The latest reports we have is that the author, a Miss Jan Moir, has already been slaughtered in public.
  
  * The case of six-year-old Falcon Heene, believed to have been adrift in a Helium weather balloon has been unmasked as a hoax. A spokesman for the Colorado Sheriffs Department commented; (high-pitch voice, as if on Helium) 'It appears to have been little more than a publicity stunt for a reality television show called I'm High, Get Me Out of Here.'
  
  * Robocop, PC Robert Brown from Motherwell, finished second in a police league table despite making 434 arrests in 12 months. PC Brown is confident of surpassing the 524 arrests made by Sgt Livingstone of Ipswich and topping the table this year as he's booked in for the next Old Firm Derby.
  
  * Scottish Labour has accused the SNP of 'ripping-off' Glasgow with their recent decision to scrap the Glasgow Airport Rail Link. This is opposed to Labour's idea of ripping off the city through travel expense claims.
  
  * Singer Fiona Mackenzie, of Dingwall, is offering Gaelic lessons via blogging website Twitter. Wiith over 500 pupil followers from around the world, Ms Mackenzie admitted that a percentage of the class being late for registration and playing truant was to be expected.
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  by EzBloke 2 years ago

  Here's a topical one;
  
  David Beckham has just been named man of the match! Fantastic news. It appears that despite David not even playing for either Aston Villa or Chelsea the rumour is that Nationwide have declared him man-of-match ahead of Saturday's clash at Villa Park after someone mentioned that his beard was similar to one that Martin O'Neil couldn't grow... David was unavailable to comment after checking his tattoo's and none of them mentioned that he'd ever played for Chelsea or that he owned a summer house on the planet Aston. Sources close to the footballer say he may be in Switzerland collecting his prize after overhearing a conversation between Fabulous Chappeux and the nice man with the camcorder. The source pointed out he wanted to get there first before some anorak oh-barmy he'd heard about tried to steal it. David was surprised and pleased that he'd won his second man-of-the-match award in three days after the England game; surprised because he didn't realise he'd played and pleased because someone said he'd helped, which is nice. David's beard will soon be appearing in panto in the west end as Minging the Merciless, that well known character from Cinderella.
  
  Ez
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  by jazzgirl 2 years ago

  Albatross! Does anyone want to buy an albatross!
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  by Graham 2 years ago

  Like it HCF, very funny, do we go back later and the 'hedge' offers us some Edward Scissorhands type topiary examples getting increasingly bizarre ?? and do we see an Edward Scissorhands sloping off when Cok Long finally has enough ???
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  by HCF 2 years ago

  Theme: Wind up of Gok Wan's "How to Look Good Naked" (got a few of these). Our host, Cok Long [let's put him in some light blue pedal pushers with a length of pipe running down the leg] has been through the early stages of convincing a ordinarily shaped woman that she's attractive, we're now reaching that all-important midpoint where they take the "naked photo".
  Scene: Inside a professional photostudio, we have a selection of camera's and flashes pointing towards a silk-draped chaise. Enter cok and our housewife, wearing a white towling robe.
  Cok: OK Miriam (drapes himself over her), we've proven your body shape is hotter than you think, we've picked out some stunning outfits for the Autumn. Whilst your confidence is high, d'you fancy getting naked?
  Miriamme: Well, I'm still a little bit hestitant....but I'm game!
  Cok: Oh music to my ears honey!
  Cameraman: (Quietly and professionally) Ok, we're ready for you.
  Cok: After three then! One, Two, Three! Let's get naked.
  (Miriam gives a happy gasp and drops the robe. Immediately a large brown pubic hedge covers the camera, there's an edgy silence)
  Cok: Can someone find me some clippers please...
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  by Graham 2 years ago

  Hi, Apologies for not replying to everyone but I become one of the government's swine flu statistics recently and have not been in the mood for comedy, well only wrote one short sketch anyway.
  
  Whats the plan ?? well not sure to be honest. My suggestion would be to look at the BBC writersroom opportunities and all bring suggestions for content that we can improve together. I'll start with a newsline for Wasons Wind up and await a reply to see if anyone can make it better. (Shouldn't be hard).
  
  'A Scottish student has beaten hundreds of rivals to be crowned the Rubik's cube world champion.
  Breandan Vallance, 17, of Beith, in Ayrshire, secured the title this weekend in Dusseldorf , Germany. Despite his win, Brendan, ironically sponsored by phones4u still couldn’t have one of their ‘phones for popular people‘.'
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  by EzBloke 2 years ago

  So what's the plan then playmates?
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  by Sinead 2 years ago

  Hi. I'm an Aussie living in Ireland, unemployed and spending my days writing bits and pieces (never finishing anything!) I think it would be great to work with like-minded people and maybe create something?