Dec 10th

Surprise!

By dyslexic of dartford

Caught short at work the other day I had to use one of the public toilets. You know the type, unisex with one pan and a single light. So desperate was I that I closed the door behind me before turning on the light. I pulled at the chord...nothing, I tried again....still nothing. Not wishing to do my business in the dark I decided to opt for the disabled one next door. I reached for the door handle only for it to move before I got to it. The door flew open and the large security guard on the other side let out a scream and jumped three feet backwards. We looked at each other for a few seconds before I sheepishly said the first thing that came into my head, 'the light doesn't work.' He eyed me suspiciously before muttering something about finding another one. I suspect that by tea time every security guard working for the trust was told the story and now thinks that I'm in the habit of hanging around in darkened toilets. If they didn't think I was weird before, they probably do now.  

Dec 9th

Books to film

By mike

  I think word clouders know all this,  but I've posted a review of a  literary workshop.

 A few days ago I attended a workshop at London arts venue on adapting novels for the screen.  The tutor demonstrated how text is entered into the ‘final cut‘ computer program which seems to be the industry standard.

    The interesting part of a two hour workshop involved a group activity.  Views were exchanged on how to change a paragraph of text into visual images.   Photography is a hobby of mine. If it not been, I would have been completely lost.  In particular, I use lenses of different focal lengths on a digital camera.  I know what different  focal lengths mean and the difference between wide angle and close up shots etc  But more to the point, I know the importance of images - I suppose you might say a visual sub-text - to enhance, or tell the story,

    I also attend theatrical performances.  The workshop took place in the early evening and I was in central London in the afternoon.  Not wishing to return home, I trawled the London theatres and got a £15 seat for a matinee.  I am lucky to be able to do this and London is rather unique in this respect.  

     But even with my interests, I would be inclined to leave things to the professionals.  The  author provides the bricks and other people build the house.

     The tutor also explained the importance of a clear synopsis of about 400 words that tells the story from beginning to end.   He also suggested posting a copy to a solicitor - or equivalent - with the date at which it is sent.  This might be a sensible thing to do, even on Word Cloud.

    My attendance arose because, recently, some ex work colleagues enquired about my life,   How were things going, they said, now that I am permanently unemployed?  Not wishing  to admit  that  i was in the depths of despair, I mentioned that I had been working on a strange gothic novel about mad monks. They  opined that the story would make a good film.

    It probably would!  Books of this type have often been dramatized.  I remember Kenneth Branagh filmed Frankenstein.  I thought it good, but it seems to be a forgotten film..   Mary Shelley saw a stage version of her book when she returned to England, so it is remade for every generation.  I think any intellectual content had been removed at that time, and the stage play concentrated on the horror aspect.

    But the novel has to be a classic.  Sweeney Todd has street cred but it is no longer an urban myth.  The book of the film,musical etc etc;  has been attributed to Jacob Prest - ‘The String of Pearls.’ 

    

 

Dec 9th

New family addition

By Scarlett

My experience with cats and Christmas trees has not been a good one. Our last cat made the Christmas tree her personal nemesis and liked to dart out of dark corners and attack it.

She once climbed up a shelf and launched herself at the tree with so much force it caused the tree to topple over, hit the lamp, which fell on the dog. In an attempt to make an emergency exit from the room, my dog knocked into my mum, she fell over throwing meat balls all over the room. She was fine and the dog recovered from her traumatic experience enough to scurry around the room eating the run-away meat balls.

 

Now it would appear that I have a new cat.

 

About a week ago someone told me in passing that a young couple with kids had moved out of the area, so I'm guessing they left the cat. A few days ago in the evening I decided to have a snooze, as you do, and my bedroom window was open. We live in a bungalow and there is a garden shed beneath my window, which is now called “the cat stairs”.

 

There I am minding my own business and I keep feeling something tickle my arm. When I turn over there is this random cat's face staring into mine. It then climbs up onto me and settles down. It didn't look in poor condition. But I decided to give it some milk, knowing if I gave it anything it would never leave, but I was okay with that. The cat followed me through the bungalow. Had a good look around. Ate the dog's leftover's. Drank it's milk, ate a tin of tuna then climbed into the dog's bed and fell asleep. When my dog came home, she instantly knew a cat was in the house and she looked at me as if to say: “Mum what have you done!”

 

She was just stunned that it was in her bed. She sniffed at it, she growled a bit. The cat just stretched out, yawned and went back to sleep. To be fair my dog rarely uses her bed but it's still HER BED.

 

I named her Ebony and she's quite a good cat, but my dog hasn't taken to her much. Neither has my horse Misty as Ebony seems fascinated by her fluffy, swishing tail and tries to grab it. So I fear our Christmas will have a new little plague next week.

 

So that's that. Not the most interesting blog but I haven't made one in a while so just thought I'd have a ramble.

 

I hope everyone has a good Christmas xxx

 

 

 

 

Dec 8th

The Wellbeing Project, Part One

By Edward Picot

The first four in a series of ten short information-videos about wellbeing and life-satisfaction, designed to be shown in the Waiting Room of the doctor's surgery where I work.

1. Introduction - https://youtu.be/Lon8w_dACC4
2. Connecting with other people - https://youtu.be/B19GFLNAMuk
3. Learning - https://youtu.be/Ot4A6xOrOdQ
4. Staying active - https://youtu.be/EUwIK6poKJI

Dec 7th

The New Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth

By Daedalus

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

With your numerous stays and pillars which do not fall short

And your central girders, which seem to the eye

To be almost towering to the sky.

The greatest wonder since scotch broth,

And a great beautification to the River Forth,

Most beautiful it is very,

Near by Edinburgh and North Queensferry.

 

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

That has caused Boris Johnson much Wrath

When his office sent out tweets that did boast,

About the wrong bridge entirely, mistaken most.

 

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

The highest above the river's course

That crosses in the sky so airy,

And seems more graceful than a fairy,

Near by Edinburgh and North Queensferry.

 

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

Which will cause great rejoicing from The Hawes,

And thousands wanting to cross from South to North,

And the traffic is bound to be hairy,

Near by Edinburgh and North Queensferry.j

 

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

And prosperity to the contractors caught

Employing illegal workers and taken to court

For skimping to erect the Bridge of the Forth,

No need to be at all wary,

Near by Edinburgh and North Queensferry.

 

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

I hope that God will keep all toll payers

From getting too poor,

And that no accident will befall them while crossing

The Bridge of the Silvery Forth,

For that would be most contrary

Near by Edinburgh and North Queensferry.

 

Beautiful new Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth!

And prosperity to Scottish Transport,

The famous engineers of a decent sort,

Who have succeeded in erecting

The New Road Bridge of the Silvery Forth,

Which stands unequalled, barely

Near by Edinburgh and North Queensferry.

 

Dec 5th

I never left you

By Dedus 8

She nursed him night and day

Even though she knew she had lost him

Her loyalty to the man she married

Who was now in the process of becoming a woman

Was admirable

They cried together as they had less in common each day

And with each passing moment he now a she became weaker

The surgery was complicated and in its infant stages

Weakness and fever due to blood loss took control 

Still she sat at her bedside and hour after hour 

Was nurse doctor wife soulmate 

And once upon a time sexual accomplice

She dipped the flannel in the cool water

Gently squeezed the excess  water out 

Reached over and placed it on the sleeping females brow

Crying as she did so

For she new what ever they had together was no more

The precious moments spent in love as man and woman 

We're slipping away with each passing minute

She nursed her till morning all through the night

Thinking not of herself

But the life she was trying to save

The sacrifice was overwhelming but necessary 

Love was love in sickness and in health

Please live I beg you she pleaded to the sleeping beauty

I love you need you miss you so much

Their hands now entwined 

Wont you come back to me please she pleaded

Longing for her lost love

For a brief moment the sleeping beauty eyes opened

She smiled as their eyes met

You don't have to worry about me anymore she whispered

I never left you and never stopped loving you

A single tear escaping down her thin pale face

But still managing a smile as death came for her

One woman cried uncontrollably the other was silent

 

Dec 5th

Mother of a Bride.

By Mezz

Spent so long looking forward to this day. My Daughter's wedding. A family occasion, two hotels needed and rooms booked, timetables sorted.

Me? I had already opted to go there and back the same day cos I kinda guessed how it was gonna go. You know when you know someone THAT well?

Tried 3 times this year to organise a pre-wedding Ice breaker between her Dad, his Wife, Me and my Man. My intention was to avoid any awkwardness due to my, somewhat unpleasant, but necessary, divorce and make sure my Girl had a lovely, relaxed Wedding day. Her Dad agreed this was a good idea but never got back to me to sort details out.

MOTHER of A Bride.

The reality? We got there, well proud and very excited. They were running late, as brides are allowed to do. I tried to see her for a hug before the ceremony but we were rushed into the venue. There were ushers I think but I could see the first two rows were already full. I didn't want a scene so I sat at the back with my Man. My side of the family had assumed I was already in pride of place at the front, so they had filled the remaining seats behind my Daughter's Dad and her step-family.

My Daughter looked happy and beautiful. I can live with that.

 

 

Dec 5th

The spider and the fly

By Dedus 8

The spider and the fly

 
Mr tibbs my psychologist emerged from behind the keypad door, glancing in my direction he mouthed some words, never did understand what they were, but I got the hint and followed him politely , engaging in  worthless chat, as one does, as we made our way down the short corridor , to our designated room, he made some throw away comment about the room,  upon entering it , almost as if he needed to, to break the ice perhaps ! Or mabye he was nervous , do psychologists get nervous ? Fucked if I know!
 
First time I saw Mr tibbs, I thought to myself, he is my psychologist ! He certainly wasn't what I expected, he looked kind of hippy like, dressed likewise, a mop of curly hair, almost looked like a perm gone badly wrong ! Casual shirt and trousers, like a librarian , I must say, I was dying to ask ! are you really a psychologist ?  it even crossed my mind he may be a patient that's just killed the real psychologist, and is now playing doctor with yours truly mmmmm ! Perish  the thought !
 
He gave me my choice of chairs, they all looked alike, but I think he wanted to see if I was comfortable sitting close, as opposed to further away, my first test perhaps !
It never ceases to amaze me how comfortable almost complacent Mr tibbs type are,
Does it never cross there mind that one of there freaks may just cut their throats !
After all we are supposed to be disturbed in some way, anger being one of my bad traits, I have to admit I do think about killing Mr tibbs, because of his complacent attitude , leave a note on his corpse , complacency kills !!
 
Thing is though, he is like everyone else , isn't worth me going to broad moor for life, but I will add him to my kill list !
I think everyone has an agenda of their own, mine is hating people ! Mabye people like Mr tibbs have some kind of short fall in their lives, and have a need to try and help others, I have no such need, fuck others, I hope they all die !
 
 
 
 
Dec 5th

My first kill

By Dedus 8

My first kill

 
The little girl played in the field in the summer sun , blonde hair and pigtails, yellow checked dress, white socks and bright red shoes, dolly beside her, they were making daisy chains, birds were singing, the near by brook babbling , butterflies and bees were pollinating the wild flowers , a field mouse popped it's head out to say hello , then hurried back to safety , skylarks soared high above , twittering love songs to each other , it's my birthday tomorrow dolly , did you forget ? The girl asked the stuffed toy ,  
Dolly lay in the comfort of buttercups and Daisy's , an embroiled smile drew across her face , come sit with me, and help me make daisy chains, you lazy thing , she picked dolly up and sat her on her lap, here this is for you, looping a daisy chain around Dollies neck , do you like it , look I have one too , shall we sing a song , your not talking much today dolly, I expect you may have a soar throat , we shall have to get you some medicine, she pretended to administer the medicine into the stuffed toy, there that will help , do you feel better now, I expect you do , 
Well anyway I will be 8 yrs old tomorrow , there will be lots of our friends there, cake , ice cream, balloons, poppers , party hats, and of course a birthday cake with candles, do you want to help me blow them out, look we can practice now, she picked dolly up, and turned the stuffed toy to face her, ok deep breath , now blow , are you blowing dolly, I don't think you are, it can be your birthday too you know, would you like that , you can be 8 too, will you please try to blow now, ok deep breath , blooooooooowww !
 
The man looked on from the shade of the wood , watching , waiting , sweating , agitated , morbid and wicked thoughts going through his mind , his eyes locked upon innocence , he hid behind a large oak tree, peeping out so not to be seen by anyone , 
Behind him a squirrel scurried up a tree , flicking it's tale as if it sensed  danger ,  he briefly turned to look at it , and worded some profanity as to his dislike of the furry creature, his gaze quickly turned back to the little girl , he made strange sounds as if in a state of excitement, rubbed his dirty hands together , clenched his fists , he felt himself becoming sexually aroused , as his stroked his manhood , the girl was totally unaware she was being watched , and carried on playing with dolly, 
It was only a short distance to her house , perhaps 40 yards, the field she was playing in ran alongside her garden, and was part of the land that came with the house, it had some old sheds and a barn in it, but they were unused for some time , so her parents just let the field grow wild ,
The sun was high in the sky and the air very warm , we shall get sunburn dolly if we stay out in this heat to long, them mama will be cross, maybe I should have put sun cream on, or worn a hat , maybe we shall play for a little longer then head home into the shade, have some lemonade , would you like that she said to the stuffed toy, I expect you would, 
La la la la la la la , do do do do do, da da da da da da da , yes I love you too , do you know this song dolly ? , well if you can remember the words , you can join in if you like , we can sing it together,  there that's another daisy chain done, do you think I am clever ?  The stuffed toy didn't budge , just sitting propped up against some wild flowers, wearing a daisy chain , 
You need to come in soon Mel , a voice shouted from the garden , it was mamma , I will the girl shouted back, just 10 more mins please , we are nearly done making the daisy chains ok , well ok , but 10 mins is all ok , ok mamma !
La la la , da da da , do do do , what a lovely day we have had dolly , don't you think, have you enjoyed yourself, sitting in the sunshine helping me , the doll just stared , 
The man emerged from the wood, headed towards the girl, eyes bloodshot , contorted face, creeping slowly, crouching through the grass, shoes crushing wild flowers as he stalked his prey , the little girl had her back to him , so was totally unaware of the danger, dolly,s head turned towards the man, embroiled facial features now changed, it sensed danger , it tore off its daisy necklace and threw it on the ground in front of the girl, oh whatever did you do that for, now it's all broken, I shall have to make another one, naughty dolly, I shan't speak to you for that, so she turned her back on the stuffed toy, 
The man was only a short distance away now , about 20 feet , he kneeled up and looked over the high grass to see where the girl was , all of a sudden he felt a sharp sting in the back of his neck , then another , and another, he raised his hand to see what was causing the searing pain , thinking he made have been stung by a bee, but his hand was wet and red , another step in the back , the face, the head, he tried to cry out, but his throat was already being slashed, blood squirting from the gaping neck wound , he collapsed to the floor, and in his last seconds of life saw the stuffed toy, plunge the killing last blow deep into his heart , his face now reflected a death mask of fear ! 
There that's another daisy chain made , the girl said turning around , don't you dare break this one you naughty dolly , putting around the stuffed toys neck , whatever have you got all over you, she said seeing red stains on the stuffed toy, have you been secretly eating red berries, they will give you a bad tummy, I shall have to wash you when we get in,  time to come in melody her mum shouted , lunch is nearly ready , ok mamma just coming, she picked her basket of daisy chains up, lifted the stuffed toy up , and headed back to the house , you are such a mess dolly , you must have ate lots of red berries, servers you right if you do get tummy ache !
The doll had its embroiled smile back , happy,that the little girl was safe and well !
Dec 2nd

Alliance of Independent Authors' Campaign for Wider Recognition

By Tony

If you believe independent authors should enjoy similar rights and opportunities to traditionally published writers you might like to sign ALLi's petition, too.

The link to the petition is: 

http://www.change.org/petitions/open-up-to-indie-authors

 

OPENING UP TO INDIE AUTHORS CAMPAIGN


Hello Tony

Thank you so much for signing the Alliance of Independent Authors's petition.

As you know, we are calling on bookstores, libraries, literary event and festival organizers, reviewers, book prize committees and others to open up to indie authors.

Our initiative is now gathering pace and we intend to make the petition the basis of a widely publicised global campaign in 2017.

To do this we need to gather 10,000 signatures so every indie that signs up counts.

Do let your author friends know about the campaign through social media or drop them an email. We are determined to up the pace of change in publishing and every signature makes us stronger.

Keep flying the flag for indies!

Warm regards

Orna

 

www.ornaross.com

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