Alone again my dear
I do get time to write, but then I write when he is here anyway, so no real win there.
I have been editing my fantasy novel and have updated the start with a passage I found very hard to write, due to it's rather violent nature; funny when writing what are inocuous words in this context made me actualy feel a little sick; is that the best way to start a book?
I have also been trying to write a synopsis for my finished contemporary novel 'At night all cats are grey,' which I am going through withdrawal from at the moment; having finished it a few days ago, finished the fourth edit anyway; I have sent it to a friend to read and am waiting for her feeback and missing my characters. I want a second opinion because it's vital, I want to hear that she likes it; but in an odd way I would really like her to say it needs more, so that I can go back and write some more scenes in it, because I miss hanging out with them! (Of course, I also fear that she will send them all to the dustbin of history, as am now too close to remain objective) To keep myself going I am having a second go at writing a synopsis, one has been a damp squib as I had missed the point that I need to make it grab an audience and stuck to a pedestrian retelling of the plot; so don't read that one, read this one. Only now I am scared, in case this sounds dull too, I must be brave, if they need a massive rewrite, so be it. Courage mon Brave, as Del Boy might say...
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'In then end, I asked him for a new rug, neglecting to tell him it was to cover the bloodstain. Geoff had never noticed it but I knew it was there even though I had the floor sanded and sealed twice with all the diligence of Lady Macbeths’ dry cleaner.'
The trouble with Saskia Coopers very twenty-first centaury divorce is that everyone involved has been so damed reasonable about it. Her ex-husband Geoff, who asked her to marry him so he had a good story to tell about 9/11 having missed the main event; and who left her four years later for Michael, is still the only man in her life; good for their daughter, bad for her. A talented artist with nothing to make art about, she is adrift in a world of pushy soccer mums and interior decorating, a world away from her grey little English childhood and her decadent younger days in early ninties New York.
A chance encounter in a lower East side strip club she has been commissioned to decorate, brings her into contact with Danko, a charming, foul mouthed, macho Russian ex-con fifteen years her senior and twenty pounds heavier than he ought to be. Despite herself she lets him seduce her and they embark on a passionate affair that both embarrasses and thrills her; much to Geoff’s disgust and despite his attempts to break them up. Sensing danger but addicted to the thrill of her sexual reawakening and the shared experience of mutual revelation with Danko; she finds her creative energies soar as their relationship spirals into a darker place and it becomes a struggle to hold onto what was good against the drag of both the past and the present. Saskia never looses her dry sense of humor, even as tragedy and betrayal threaten as she wrestles with the dilemma: can a man who does bad things still be a good person; and does she really want him to be?
‘It’s truly amazing what you can find out about on u-tube.’


6 Comments
"Despite herself..." is about the only phrase I'd reconsider. But that's just personal opinion. Also "sexual awakening" seems stronger to me than "reawakening" although I appreciate you're not writing about a virgin's first encounter. Still, some people never experience what I'd call a sexual awakening however sexually active they are.
I do hope this helps a little. If you need a beta reader, I'd love to.
I don't want to send yo all of it, it's 68000 and that's quite an ask; perhaps I might send you the first chapter, I am worried it is too slow as we keep getting told; it's often the hardest as you have all the scene setting and so forth to do, so feed back on that would really help; also it's not too long so I can send it as a message! I would be happy to return the compliment.
Perhaps 'Against her better judgment' would be a better phrase, and maybe 'sexual renaissence,' once it's spelled correctly!
Good idea to break it up into chapters. By all means, please, start me off at the beginning as my first readthrough is always purely for pleasure. Let me know what level of critique you're after. Want me to concentrate on flow, plot, characterisation, style, voice etc and/or formal stuff like spelling, grammar and so on or both or start off slow with my impressions first.
Ok, well, The formal stuff will no doubt be a problem as I am dyslexic and no matter how often I spell check, something gets through, usually the right word in the wrong place; so I guess what I'd like to know is just an initial impression, if there is enough to make you want to read more; and how the voice grabs you. I have never really had any of my stuff looked at seriously; I have given the whole MS to a friend I have who is a play write for a first look; it's daunting but I do feel there is something there, even if it needs more work, which I expect it shall; it's been great finding the cloud! I have another friend who is a high powered literature teacher and has a book deal; he has agreed to read it in his summer break so I would like to work on it before then, and then look for agents if I am ready after that.
So, yes, I will send across the first chapter later on, and thank you again.
Your plan sounds excellent, especially having interested readers with the required skill set. Let's concentrate on first impressions then and spelling/grammar/formatting after that so that your chosen readers can concentrate on your message not your mistakes. Depending on how we get on with that (my time, your feelings), I'll look into the rest.
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