Coffee Table Book

Published by: Mat on 17th May 2018 | View all blogs by Mat


by brightonsauce


Another early start with my beach photography of pets.

Nothing says springtime on the sand to me more than a Springer and his owner springing, and frolicking in the early morning light.  Something about the light that captures my art egg, if you catch my drift?

Driftwood is another thing.  Driftwood gives me wood in a photographic sense.

But then people are not always as friendly as their animals.

She was maybe thirty years old on the beach.  I was chasing after her on the beach but then she started jogging so the game was over, and her Snauzer was sitting on nobody’s coffee table, or maybe under hers?

Another unsuccessful portrait was with the Labrador.

‘Can I take a discreet photograph of your puppy, sir?  I said.

‘No,’ he said, ‘I’m calling the police.’

So, I’m home now and this ‘darkroom’ I have all set up and ready is kind of useless.  Unless I can think of a different activity for a dark room?  Maybe take off these shorts, just quickly and twirl.

But then that coffee cup, I don’t know how it hooked on the handle?  It’s a gift that means I am communicating on this fuckin kindle in the dark.  Suppose I could open the curtains?

That would ruin everything.  No coffee, no clothes on, it started as such a good day.  Worse of all in less than four hours I have to get my own photopass photograph down the council office for my Poopascooter ID.  I should wear a tie, people will be looking at that photo all summer, but my wife cut my hair and she didn’t leave my flap at the front.

‘I need the fucking flap,’ I told her.

‘But you look like a monk,’ she said.

‘Now look at me!’ I kind of screamed, ‘I look like an ass, or arse.’  – it all depends on which lobe I’m utilising for my communicating.  But definitely a shiny lobe with a tie.

My God, they’ve given me a chance with the employment; did it have to be this, the Regional Seasonal Dog Mess Enforcement officer?  They lured me with the free motorbike.  I thought I’d wear leathers on Route 66.

Fight the Power,

after work.



Please login or sign up to post on this network.
Click here to sign up now.


Getting Published


Visitor counter



Blog Roll Centre


Blog Hints

Blog Directory