The Word Cloud

First Hot Curry.

Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

 Call 999. I've located a uranium pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer. -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds?

 Carol, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 20 stone woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?

My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The waiter seemed offended when I told him that him chilli had given me brain damage.

 Carol saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the glass. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other people in the restaurant asked me to stop screaming. Screw them. My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames.

I am definitely going to **** myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Carol. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my arse with a snow cone ice-cream.

. You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.

 My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing- it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach...