Food for thought

Need more help?

Get feedback on your writing.
Get assistance with finding literary agents.
Get help writing for children.
Sign up for one of our online creative writing courses
Get free advice on How to Write a Book.
Find out How To Get Published.
Explore the best book on Getting Published.
Don't miss our Festival of Writing.
If you're still stuck, then contact us.

The Writers' Workshop is run by writers for writers. We're here to help.

Published by: flyman on 22nd Aug 2009 | View all blogs by flyman

I am in Hong Kong and I’ve just been on a long flight with Virgin Atlantic. Does anyone remember? Was it last year or the year before? And it appeared on the national news about some complaints of the airline food for Virgin Atlantic by one of its dissatisfied customers who posted it on the internet? It was hilarious because the man photographed every detail of the unappealing flight dinner and criticised Richard Branson about it. ‘Look at this Richard, what is this? Would you eat this?’ And he was offered a job by the man on advising on food matters on board flights? Did he take it or not? I don’t know, because if he did, he’s not doing a very good job at all; the food is just as awful if not worse, maybe it is just for the upper class who’d get all the nice foods and us in the steerage get what dogs wouldn’t even sniff at.

Every time I go on board and see the first class cabins where they can stretch their legs and sleep horizontally, and me in steerage, sitting and sleeping upright, as comfortable as ever a sardine can feel in a can, makes me hate the class system and feel sympathetic to the Communist cause even though I have been called a Capitalist pig by my friends. In that short moment when I pass the first class cabin, I look with envy before I am quickly ushered down to steerage because I see the first class passengers being pampered with drinks as soon as they sit down, served by comely looking air stewardesses whose only purpose in life seem to be to make you happy, and me, in steerage, next to the toilet and get woken up every time when people flush the toilet (because there’s a great rush of air during the flushing and it’s even more sonorous than an elephant’s fart) and have my foot trodden on if it wondered too far out onto the isle. Such is life eh?

Talking about comely looking air stewardesses, that TV advert was a bit misleading; I didn’t see any flight attendants or ground staff like the ones they had on the TV advert. When I return, I’ll have to write a very strongly worded letter to Mr. Branson about this. Or could it be that it only applied to first class only?

Flyman

Comments

9 Comments

by Kate.J 2 years ago

I think you might like to try Yorkshire Airlines instead:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VLYpKGVBUg
by Minxie 2 years ago

If you complain, they may put you in charge of picking air stewardess'? That would be a terrible job for any man!

I should smuggle some sandwiches on next time and keep quiet!!!

I'm only 5'2, so am quite lucky with the sardine style seating, but I feel sorry for tall people! Maybe instead of running the airline in a 'class' system, they should do it by height? Taller people getting more room? That's make better sense :)

... Minxie :]
by Weens 2 years ago

The one and only time I got bumped up from economy to business class, showed the same lack of care in the food served. Admittedly I was given a proper knife and fork and pot pepper and salt set (no little sachets for business class) and the food was served on a proper plate, but the food was the same yuch! So the difference in price is for more leg room, proper crockery and ..... er, oh yes, peanuts served in a bowl. Can you justify the difference in price?
by Chanty 2 years ago

Thank you for the giggle I got from this one, I agree about the food and space.... hee he I flew Virgin over to the UK, was pinned between two rather large blokes - real fun...

But we do need to be greatful that we can in fact visit other countries within a matter of hours and don't have to depend on sea voyages any more to do so... guess it's the silver lining, but yes improvements could be made...
by flyman 2 years ago

The thought had never occurred to me about me picking who to hire for air stewardesses but I'm sure I'll be really good at that! So, I have another one of these journies to look forward to in three day's time.

The food is great here but it seems I've brought the weather with me. It's really hot though.
by Kate.J 2 years ago

How to travel more confortably: I have a serious and incurable travel addiction, I travel a lot, domestic, short and longhaul on different airlines and have got reasonably good at doing it in comfort (and occasionally style) - there are a few tricks you can try. You need to prepare yourself for the flight home. Can you check-in online (OLCI)? If so, it's usually open 24 hours before the flight, and at that stage there is often a good choice of seats. Aim for an exit row or bulkhead if you need legroom. If they have already allocated you a seat you can change it. If the food you got was unappetising, order a "special meal" - you can choose various options. This also means you'll be fed first (on most airlines). The usual advice is to limit your alcohol intake in flight but I find that drinking red wine works wonders as it helps your digestion and puts you in a slightly better mood. Don't overdo it though, I find one glass is good. Avoid beer and non-vintaged white wine as the essential fermentation process won't be complete. Don't judge the FAs ("Correct" term for air-stewardesses!!) on their age and appearance. My preference has always been for older ones who look as if they'll be more help they'll be more help in an emergency and they always seem to look after you better as well. And finally, if you're going to be flying often, enrol in their frequent flyer programme, that way you can starting thinking of using points to move up to the front of the aircraft - which on longhaul flights is, I think, definitely worth it.
by Kenty 2 years ago

When traveling on the motor way - don't go into the services' as you spend all your holiday money and that' :O
by Spangles 2 years ago

I can still remember the horrible smell of the meal that was served when I took a Virgin flight to New York in 1985. It was something with sweet potatoes in it, and the smell permeated the entire plane. Not to mention my memory banks.

At the time, Virgin was still a new airline and only had two planes capable of crossing the Atlantic. One was in New York. The other was at Gatwick, and it was broken. It took several hours before it was mended and we could take off. Ah, happy days!
by flyman 2 years ago

The price for the front of the aircraft is so over rated, I'd thought I'd never safe enough points on the air miles to get there. But since you do travel extensively, Kate J, then of course it is well worth it.
Well, I'm back in the UK now and the return flight was much more pleasant even though the food is just as bad as ever. I know the bad food isn't just to do with Virgin Atlantic, it's just that it reminded me of that news item I saw ages ago.
Thanks all.

FM