How do you stop those doubts?

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Published by: cdm on 21st May 2010 | View all blogs by cdm

Much as I would love to stuff my fingers in my ears and sing over them, these poisonous little darts swim around my mind and I can hear them whatever I do.

I seem to swing from being confident in my book - that I believe it's original with interesting and engaging characters - to wondering what I think I'm doing writing anything when it's all drivel.

I'm not the most confident person anyway, and these doubts hammer me further into the ground when I would prefer to walk tall.

I realise I'm not alone, but it's frustrating when it feels like every doubt adds another pebble to my chest, and the resulting rubble just serves to weigh me down.

I almost talked myself out of submitting my story to someone last night, because I was convinced they wouldn't be interested and would hate the story. The person in question is looking specifically for the genre I'm writing for!

How on earth do you shut those annoying voices up? Does anyone have any tips?

Comments

10 Comments

by AlanP 2 years ago

For what it's worth I think that one can only be truly good at a thing if you enjoy it. So, I think that if you enjoyed creating something, did your very best then it's probably getting on for as good as it can get. As to the rest, speaking as someone yet to chime with the assessed public mood, I suspect that if you are lucky lots of people will enjoy the same things that you do and you are away.

If you read the whole canon of authors who have spent a lifetime writing, for example le Carre, then you will see that they loved it at the beginning. Later I think it's their craft and it becomes machanical, but the early work is always natural and usually amongst the best.

You can't silence the doubts, but be confident that this is probably amongst your best work. So go for it whatever. What else are you going to do with it?
by cdm 2 years ago

Thanks, Alan. I do enjoy writing - it's one of those occupations when I'm at my happiest. I do know that my achievement is that I've finished a story I want to read, no matter what anyone else thinks. I think your words above helped me remember that.
by Mcallan 2 years ago

If you want to read your story that is an achievement in itself. It sounds as though, like many of us here, you actually enjoy the process of writing. That is the true secret isn't it.
by Barb 2 years ago

The day these doubts stop is when you have a problem. Carrying on regardless is the key.
by Wrathnar the Unreasonable 2 years ago

I think the doubts serve a purpose. If we weren't self-critical, we wouldn't strive to improve our writing skills. The difficulty is not to let them dent your self-confidence. It's a delicate balance.
by cdm 2 years ago

Thanks Mcallan, Barb, and Wrathnar. I think I need to learn how to carry on regardless, as I haven't mastered that yet. The same goes for the doubts not denting my self-confidence, although it's gradually building itself back up again. This is such a supportive community!
by CJ 2 years ago

I have absolutely no idea how to shut those voices up (if you find a way, let me know...), but I can safely say that you have every right to be confident about your novel. I've enjoyed what I've read of it immensely (and I'm not just saying that!). Since I'm a fantastic one for doling out advice I never follow myself: send the book out to that person. What have you got to lose? Either they say yes or no - nothing more, nothing less. Either way, it swings from feckin' fantastic (a yes) to giving you some idea whether it's ready to go (a no), so in a way, it's a win/win situation...
by EmmaD 2 years ago

It's so hard, isn't it - the voices are your inner critic, (not to be confused with your inner editor), who has had a lifetime's practice at making sure you don't do anything dangerous/showy-offy/insecure/peculiar/individual etc. etc.

Ann Lamott's book Bird by Bird is very, very good on what to do about those voices - which she calls chattering white mice. And this post here - sorry for the unwieldiness - chews over the question too:

http://www.bookarazzi.com/bkz/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=168:a-conversation-about-the-inner-critic&catid=25:news&Itemid=29
by cdm 2 years ago

Thanks, Ely. That means a lot, and I do agree about the "what do I have to lose" thought.

Thanks, Emma. I've decided my inner critic is far too vocal for my own good. That link was very helpful. I did like the bit about imagining the inner critic as the two hyper-critical characters from The Muppet Show and the fact that the show always went ahead whatever those two said.
by CJ 2 years ago

Thanks indeed, Emma - in a way, it's reassuring to know you're not alone with a demonic inner critic. Mine is a bit like the Comic Book Guy in the Simpsons: WORST. WORD / SENTENCE / PHRASE / STORY. EVER. Being a terrible headwriter (I know what I am now, thanks to Nashelle's link!) means I struggle to just put it on the page without it being shaped and moulded in my head first, which means (for example) that I got tied up in knots yesterday for using the word 'pulse' twice in the course of three paragraphs. Now, I know I should just say 'to hell with it - I'll sort it out later and just carry on', but the inner critic was there like a little devil on my shoulder (or maybe a little worm in my head), whispering 'you used pulse twice there. Did you see that? You did. Twice. That's bad. Bad writing. You can't do that. And whilst I'm at it, there's a passive phrase there, and you've run away a bit with the adverbs in that last paragraph and that's not very good and why are you even bothering? Don't bother. You're rubbish. Using pulse twice like that. WORST. WRITING. EVER!'

So you're definitely not alone, cdm! XD Maybe we should try to invest in some kind of metaphorical inner critic shotgun? WORST. WRITER. EV- BANG!!! Blow that sucker away!