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Published by: Jess L on 20th Jul 2011 | View all blogs by Jess L

I often complain that working in retail is a nightmare and that the customers can be so rude (which they quite often are) but today was one of those days where a customer truly made me giggle for ages after they'd left!

This is a wee bit crude but hilariously funny...

A gentleman came into the shop asking for some good photo paper. I showed him our selections and we got to talking about Kodak printers. He proceeded to tell me that he'd had a lot of trouble with his last Kodak and that he didn't recomend them.

'Oh, that's unusual,' I replied. 'they're our best sellers.'

'Yes, well, the thing is I could never print my photos from it,' the gentleman said. 'I'd put my dick in it but it wouldn't work.'

My face freezes in surprise. Did I hear that right? Did this polite old man just tell me he stuck his *Ahem* into a Kodak printer?

Gentleman frowns. 'No, that's not right. What are those small thin things called that you stick into the front?'

'A memory card?'

'That's the one. I put the memory card in but it doesn't print...'

What's worse is that he didn't even seem to realise what he'd just said! He just carried on chatting away while I had to stop myself from having a right old chuckle!

All day I've been smiling at this so I thought I'd share it with you folks :) Anyone got any more funny 'slips of the tongue' they've heard in the past?

Comments

13 Comments

by Bren 10 months ago

That is a good one. I expect his unconscious thoughts popped up as you are gorgeous and young. Can't think of one at the mo but I expect you will get a good list on here.
by Gerry 10 months ago

Dick as memory stick - I'm sure someone could write a good story about Dickie's happy memories (not that I'm volunteering).
by Weens 10 months ago

Years ago, when I was working in recruitment, the girl on the next desk was interviewing a man named Richard, Something happened in the office to completely distract her, and she asked the man if he had a big dick, instead of do people call you dick. The man was so busy talking about himself that he never noticed, or chose to ignore it. A colleague and I had to leave the room pronto, as we were in hysterics.
by Gerilyn 10 months ago

Ha ha ha ha- at the blog and Ween's comment :D
by zomb00 10 months ago

And there was me thinking i'd gotten away with it :(
by Jess L 10 months ago

Haha, Gerry that sounds like a challenge :)

Oh, Weens! How embarrassing! That is hilarious!
by John Taylor 10 months ago

I used to work with a young man with Tourette's syndrome, and the way accidental swear words mixed seamlessly into his conversation would have defeated the best rap artist!
by Amarantha 10 months ago

Not a retail outlet exactly but in an estate agent's office, a colleague was dealing with the sweetest-looking vicar imaginable ... white hair, rosy-cheeks and scrubbed up like a little schoolboy.

He stood there explaining his needs to her and without a pause or so much as a blink, let out the loudest fart! OMG! It was the hardest struggle I ever had trying to keep a straight face. She turned to look at me briefly and her expression was the closest I ever saw to a Charlie Brown cartoon; eyes blank and her mouth just a wobbly line.

Of course, we kept failling about for the rest of that day and just remembering that sweet old chap now makes me laugh.
by Jess L 10 months ago

Oh Ama that has really made me giggle this morning! The least likely candidate as well! Did he not even react to his little southward outburst?
by curlykats 10 months ago

Jess, that's given me a laugh. My mum's the best at this. Not only did she say she went down on the priest, meaning she went down to see the priest, but in telling me of her dad's time working at a pit that was locally known as the Fanny pit, she said, 'Your granddad loved working in the fanny.'
by mockingbird 10 months ago

Curly cat your mum sounds a scream! And did you see my comments on Spangle's blog about Americanisms. I wonder if your mum has read the same books as I have!
by Amarantha 10 months ago

No, Jess, the vicar didn't react at all. He was the most relaxed man in the building!

And curlycats, what a Mum!
by Gerry 10 months ago

Ah church people, wind - reminds me of a time in childhood being bored semi-silly at Sunday morning mass - but it was Pentecost, and just as the priest said something about a mighty roaring wind from heaven there was a fart just in front of us. My mum and I spent the rest of the mass trying so hard not to laugh out loud that we had the whole pew shaking. Happy days...