My progress so far.... Prologue & most of Ch. 1 :o)
Prologue
The dense grey clouds overhead swirled dangerously. The rumble of
thunder rolled across the sea. The waves grew higher and lashed
angrily at the cliffs edge. Elana was suddenly aware of the
familiar feeling rising up inside of her. The impending
exhilaration of what was to come. Her breath felt heavy in her
lungs, she could feel the thickness of the air, pressing down on
her. She could taste the metallic taint it carried as she inhaled
and felt its moisture upon her lips.
As she stood with her hands pressed against the cool stone of the
castle wall she began to feel the rush of air from the ocean
below. She could taste the brine of the sea as its spray hit her
face. The foam bubbled over the rocks beneath her. Her white
blonde hair danced behind her as it was swept from her face by
the fierce wind. Elana closed her eyes as the rumbling rose to a
deep menacing growl. As she opened them once more, she saw the
bright blue flicker of lightening over the horizon. The
sensations suddenly intensified with the crack of
electricity.
Pulses of prickling energy emanating from her brow flowed
swiftly, like a white hot river through her body. Her gaze
dropped to the beautiful ring that adorned her slender finger.
The silver white metal glinting as the lightening forked to the
sea. The gemstone set inside was mesmerizing, it looked almost
liquid as it shimmered and swirled in its ornate setting. It
radiated a faint, eerie glow in the storms darkness. Her fingers reached up
to her throat as she unhooked her heavy velvet cloak, dropping it
fluidly to the ground. She gently removed the elaborately
embroidered slippers from her feet, the golden thread sparkling
in the light slashing down from heavens.
Placing her feet upon the jagged, damp rock she began to climb
the stone wall that edged the castle’s balcony. Clinging tightly
against the power of the roaring wind, she continued her
dangerous ascent. Pulling herself onto the top, she stood
unsteadily on her feet as the winds rushed past. The suppressed
emotions began to rise within her, bubbling furiously to the
surface, entwining with the roaring of the storm. The swirling
winds carried them rapidly towards the sky as she raised her arms
above her head, fingers outstretched.
As Elana’s eyes closed she could feel the familiar hot, sting of
tears. As they spilled on to her silken, white cheeks the rain
began to fall heavily in ice cold sheets. The storm now engulfed
the horizon as far as the eye could see. Her white nightdress
billowed like a sodden sail as it was whipped by wind and rain.
As she was swallowed by the storm, feeling its enormous power
course through her, she fed it with her pain, hatred and
fear.
The images of what had passed flashed through her mind as the
lightening thrashed angrily to the ground. She saw the fierce
insanity in his eyes. She saw the faces of her brothers. Her
mother’s anguish. She felt the pain of his selfish betrayal. The
cold of their skin on her fingers. Elana, overwhelmed by the
agony that rushed from within, parted her lips and screamed as
loud as her voice would allow into the chaos surrounding her. But
her voice was merely drowned in the thunderous symphony of the
storm.
For a time she was lost in the power of the storm, feeling the
hot prickles of energy under her skin, the very cells of her body
vibrating. Her thoughts were gone as she was consumed and her
body felt a momentary peace. Suddenly she felt something grasp
her ankles, tearing her mind from its place of solitude.
“Elana Reàdarmus what are you doing? Come down!” a woman’s voice
exclaimed.
Elana wobbled dangerously at the intruders surprise and felt two
hands grab her tightly around her waist, dragging her to the
ground.
Chapter 1 - The
Seer
King Regalus Readarmus was a pleasant man considering he was
after all a King. His father had been a great king, who had led
their people through times of immense troubles. There had been
many wars between the races of the Great Planes and even within
the Kingdom of Elindor. Despite the wars that had ravaged the
lands, as a young prince the King hoped to bring an age of peace
to them. His mother Liliana, or Nana as she was now called, came
from a well established aristocracy. They had no fortune of
course but her wild and daring attitude along with her beauty
attracted the attention of his father.
Regalus looked nothing like his mother, but in temperament they
were very much the same. They say behind every great man is a
great woman and in his father’s case this was very true. Liliana
always managed to persuade him to see things as she did. She
chose her words carefully and could sway the King without him
even knowing there was reason to be swayed. After his father’s
death Regalus had married before taking the throne. His father
had given his aid the task of finding Regalus a suitable wife. As
much as he protested to Queen Liliana, he eventually agreed to
meet her. It was his father’s dying wish that he be
married.
Her name was Freya Cariad. She lived in Elindor near the edge of
Forana forest with her family. She was an incredible beauty with
copper coloured curls that covered her back. Her father had many
Elven friends and often took her to visit them. As a result she
was extremely fond of this race and even spoken fluent elfish.
Regalus was pleased with this acceptance of others and captivated
by her warm nature. They had married in a lavish ceremony and
invited members of each of the royal families to join the
festivities. Within weeks Freya had fallen pregnant with their
first child and soon after followed five more healthy sons.
The King’s brow furrowed as he learned over his large oak desk,
scribbling away on pieces of parchment.
“Come now Regalus, do not get so aggrieved” said a woman from
beside the fire.
“I cannot abide by this alliance Freya! After all of the attacks
to the miners. Humans and Dwarves killed for Craag ore” spat
Regalus.
“I know the costs to the Kingdom and the people have been high,
but we must look to the future now” Freya replied, rubbing her
rounded stomach.
“I know this more than anyone. But they are not to be trusted. I
feel it.”
The King closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose with
finger and thumb. Freya draped herself across his shoulders and
gently kissed his neck.
“We must be seen to be willing to forgive Regalus, if not all is
lost.”
She straightened, taking his face in her gentle hands. Freya’s
expression hardened.
“You know the darkness in our world grows deeper. The
disturbances worsen. Other World breaches are becoming reality,
no longer myth. We need to be as one.”
Gazing sternly into her husband’s eyes all was understood.
“You are right my love, we must try. I shall send a declaration
by horse tonight. All crimes by the Goblin people will be
forgiven and they will be accepted back onto the committee. They
shall have all the political power that the four have.”
She smiled sweetly at her husband and kissed his forehead.
“I must get some rest now. Try not to stay awake too late”.
She walked gracefully across the room and twisted the heavy brass
door knob.
“Goodnight dearest” Freya said sweetly.
“Goodnight my love” Regalus replied with a smile, despite his
concerns.
A guard bowed as she floated past into the darkness, her hair
glinting russet in the gloom. The King’s brow furrowed
as he wrote quickly by candle light, his quill scratching
feverishly, inches from his nose. He began to melt a stick of wax
above the flame, dripping the blood-red wax in splotches onto the
parchment. Plunging his heavy, golden ring into the wax, he
marked it with the royal crest.
Regalus strode to the door and called into the corridor for the
royal messenger. He handed the messenger, a young slim man, the
sealed declaration.
“Take four guards. Ride to the Goblin village and do not stop
until you get there. Give this to Grindleward and nobody
else.”
He quickly bowed and replied “Yes your majesty!” before striding
away.
The King returned to his dimly lit study. Pictures in gilt frames
filled the spaces not covered by books and maps. As he slumped
down into his chair, he sighed deeply, resting his head in his
hands. Exhausted from the day’s events the King quickly drifted
into a deep sleep, only to be awoken by a frantic knocking at the
heavy oak door.
Regalus rose quickly from his desk, removing a dagger from its
sheath at his ankle.
“Enter!” he yelled, his eyes not moving from the door.
The door swung open gently, creaking on its hinges. Stood in the
doorway was a hunched, frail figure, cloaked in black. As it
floated towards the King he drew a deep breath.
“Avarah is that you?!”
A cracked,
hoarse voice rattled “Yes my Lord it is only I”.
Two twisted, knotted hands reached up to lower the hood. A mass
of matted gray hair surrounded a weathered face with thin,
crinkled skin. The old woman’s dark eyes glinted dangerously in
the gloom. The King took an involuntary step backwards.
“Must you come looking like one of the nine?!”
“Oh I am sorry my Lord!” she said as she drew a ragged breath “I
know this appearance does not please you...”
The woman closed her eyes and a low hum filled the room, shaking
the instruments and ornaments strewn across the desk. As she
looked up her face began to transform before the King’s eyes. Her
hair darkened to a silky raven black, spilling in waves past her
waist. The deep wrinkles in her paper-like skin smoothed as it
filled with a dewy, soft youth. She looked quite beautiful,
especially in the soft candle light. She had the same beetle
black eyes as she smiled with dazzling pearl teeth.
“Is this better my Lord?”
Avarah assessed her image in the long mirror next to the
fireplace.
“I will never understand why you think this image beautiful, but
if it makes you less... anxious”.
She turned to face Regalus, removing a velvet pouch from within
her cloak.
“If the nine found out I was bringing the sacred stones before
you I would be done for! But what I have seen is of great
importance to the lands, to all our futures.”
She placed a stone bowl at her feet, chanting words that were not
understood into their surroundings. There was the sudden crackle
of magic as the bowl began to rise from the ground, spinning
slowly as it bobbed in the thickened air. Regalus took another
step back as he struggled to breathe in the humid room, staring
at Avarah with a mixture of intrigue and fear.
Placing the velvet pouch in both hands she raised her arms above
her head before emptying its contents into the bowl. Taking the
bowl in both hands she continued to chant as she swirled the
contents, the sound of clinking stone mingling with her
mysterious crooning. Suddenly she spilled its contents onto the
floor around her feet. Small stones of different sizes, ornately
carved with strange characters lay strewn on the wood.
Avarah’s black eyes grew large as she looked from stone to
stone.
“I have foreseen a great darkness my Lord. A great darkness that
will fill the land. The nine will have a hand in the peril
brought to us. They will bring about the end of days. Ragnarok
will come. There is only one hope that we will prevail my Lord.
It lays in the hands of your unborn child, your seventh child! A
choice will be made, that may tip the balance.”
Regalus stared at the stones that lay on his study floor,
overwhelmed by what he had been told.
“Are you sure of this Avarah?” he asked.
“My Lord have I ever misguided you? We are all in danger now,
even us seers of the islands. Maybe even the nine...” She replied
drawing her eyebrows into a concerned frown.
“My sons are strong, the eldest is growing into a fine warrior.
I’m sure he can defend the lands. Will my seventh son be stronger
than Thorn? Will he be the greatest warrior our lands have seen?
I fear he must face dangers our world has never known.” he
sighed.
“I do not know my Lord, I only see what the stones chose to show
me. I only know that our very existence may depend on this
child!” Avarah replied.
“Very well! Please leave me now. If there is any news send word
straight away!” He barked.
“As you wish your Majesty” she replied in a bow, sweeping quickly
from the room, her raven hair turning to brittle grey as her skin
began to crease.
As the King undressed for bed his head swam with thoughts of the
future, of his Kingdom, but most importantly of his family. He
thought of all that was expected of his baby, sleeping peacefully
in its mother’s womb. As he climbed into bed with Queen Freya he
laid a protective hand on her stomach, holding them both closely
to him as tried to sleep.


9 Comments
Anyway I loved it so keep us posted when you get more written. x
As with your first post, I thought it was very well written. I like your style of writing and it really does go well with the storyline. You capture the atmosphere really well in your descriptions, and it seems as if you've done this effortlessly! I feel like I'm actually there with the characters because of the way you have written it.
I really enjoyed reading this... Put it on the other channel though - so more people can comment :)
Minxie
I thought I would pop in here and see what all the fuss was about and found myself getting to the end before I realised what I was doing; effortless reading, great flow, nice set-up, and some wonderful, if slightly cliched (sorry) hooks; I want to know where this is going and I want to see what great things this seventh child has to do.
If I were to be at all moany, I would say you stopped writing to soon, I could have quite happily kept reading. Quick question; you have defined a prologue and, to me, that presumes it is a critical pre-story event or one that, bearing it in mind, helps the reader understand something not explicit in the rest of the work - can Ijust ask, is this true? Or is this prologue actually just an (excelently written) emotive "scene"? If this girl, Elana, is the seventh child I'm curious to know what you are using this pre-picture to explain. (Don't give away any secrets if you don't want to!)
In summary;
Lovely piece; well paced, *very* involving, good set of hooks to keep me interested and wanting to know more.
Ez
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