Query Spoof

Published by: kd on 10th Apr 2010 | View all blogs by kd

Dear Unspecified Agent,

          I came upon your profile through eharmony.com.  After reviewing your agency website, I firmly believe my manuscript could be puddy in your well formed hands.  I also like long walks on the beach and sing Sinatra lyrics in the shower.

 The world of ‘SAVATAR’ will blow your proverbial socks off.  Agent Marmucker has been dealing with the loss of his limbs since the bubblegum factory explosion of 2087.  On a secret mission to planet Hooters, Agent M. will have the occasion to live a normal life once more.  Through technological mindmelding means, he will incarnate the body of an eleven foot tall native boogyfry named ‘Crut’ and infiltrate their tribe.  The knowledge he acquires will change his perception of the human race forever.   He alone can prevent a war between the two planets by taming the flaming Spleagle-whats and becoming chief of the boogyfry tribe.

 Oh yes, and he SAVES THE WORLD.

 This is my first almost finished book and I have been writing for non-stop for…..five whole days.  I think this could really be the next big thing- bigger than Harry Potter and Twilight put together.  I am dead serious.  Dead.  Serious. Even my neighborhood psychic Sabine says there’s no doubt that SAVATAR will take the world by storm, and she totally predicted Michael Jackson’s disappearance (he’s still alive, btw) - so trust me when I say that this is a win-win.

 

 Thank you for your time,

Sleep Deprived in Detroit

http://creepyquerygirl.blogspot.com/ 

Comments

9 Comments

  • Weens
    by Weens 2 years ago
    Mike - I think you should write it, lol.
  • Weens
    by Weens 2 years ago
    Whoops!! Where did I get Mike from. I think I need more sleep. Sorry Katie, I bet that is the first time you have been called Mike. Consider myself duly reprimanded. Slaps own wrist.
  • kd
    by kd 2 years ago
    It's ok Weens, I've been called worse:)
  • mike
    by mike 2 years ago
    Very funny, But Agents - secret, I suppose - might well be on the look out for the absolute reverse.
    Agents in England must be scouring their intrays for a replacement to Foyle's war. This is a TV series about a policeman in Hastings - a seaside resort on the kent coast -and it takes place during the second world war There is no sex, drugs or rock and roll.
    As the war ended in 1945, the series ended too. But such is the popular demand, the series is to
    continue though the post war years On a sunday night too!!!
  • kd
    by kd 2 years ago
    Huh. I've never heard of Foyle's War but I'm an american Yankee so that might expalin it (or not). I doubt anyone is actually looking for the next Avatar either, but it just came to mind when I wrote the query spoof. The plot just sounds so out there, even if I had used the real names, it makes you realize how hard Fantasy must be to sell.
  • Bren
    by Bren 2 years ago
    Very good kd. All books hard to sell but a lot of authors seem to be turning to Fantasy. Wonder if it is any harder to get published.
    And Mike, a replacement for a Touch of Frost, look how popular that prog was.
  • ColinTW
    by ColinTW 2 years ago
    I think the hardest part about selling Avatar to anyone would have been the re-hashed storyline and terrible dialogue. Yet another dire film saved from oblivion by great Sfx and brilliant marketing.
  • Tan Hadron
    by Tan Hadron 2 years ago
    I think this really could be the next big hit! I mean, five days writing??? Why, you've spent nearly six times longer than James Cameron did on his (completely different and unrelated!) film. Obviously you're really concentrating on character and plot. Though beware, concentrating on such things may diminish your box-office returns. ;-)

    Though if you make it all about 'mother earth' and 'the environment' and imply that all us humans are 'evil planet killers' (So it's really really topical!), and you make it in "Super Universal Camera Kontrol(because starting with a K makes it 'cool') System 3D" you'll set the world alight!!!
  • kd
    by kd 2 years ago
    lol, thanks tan! You've hit the nail on the head!
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