That Monday morning feeling
It's not just Mondays that I feel it. I feel it every other
day of my working week. That sick sinking feeling you get when once
again, sleep has passed you by and you awake to your 5 am alarm
clock.
The desire to jump out of bed has long gone, the job has got to me, like they all do eventually and I find myself fighting, fighting with my legs, my hands, my mind, my heart and my brain.
The job has ironically become a blank page. I turn up everyday and have no idea how I start. People come and go like words I don't recognise and the desire to rub them out gets deeper every day.
I want to tear out the page and start again. I have no connection there, no interest holds my eye and ear. I have recycled phrases and replies, I don't need to think anymore, I just do.
Lost in a world of screens, tickets, phone calls and office bullshit with no idea how to find my way out.
It never mattered before, I walked, and kept on walking until I found the next blank page. That can't happen anymore, bigger things are at stake and I keep going to keep the things that make turning up everyday that bit easier.
I'm circling in my own Catherine Wheel of want and need. I want to be doing something else but need the money for the future and so my Monday morning battle goes on and on and on.
The desire to jump out of bed has long gone, the job has got to me, like they all do eventually and I find myself fighting, fighting with my legs, my hands, my mind, my heart and my brain.
The job has ironically become a blank page. I turn up everyday and have no idea how I start. People come and go like words I don't recognise and the desire to rub them out gets deeper every day.
I want to tear out the page and start again. I have no connection there, no interest holds my eye and ear. I have recycled phrases and replies, I don't need to think anymore, I just do.
Lost in a world of screens, tickets, phone calls and office bullshit with no idea how to find my way out.
It never mattered before, I walked, and kept on walking until I found the next blank page. That can't happen anymore, bigger things are at stake and I keep going to keep the things that make turning up everyday that bit easier.
I'm circling in my own Catherine Wheel of want and need. I want to be doing something else but need the money for the future and so my Monday morning battle goes on and on and on.
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6 Comments
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
I was lucky enough last year to realise that writing is my passion...i will continue to take those small steps ; - )
Hang in there...and one Monday morning you will wake and go YAY!.....a whole day writing!..:)
ps I'm Mac by the way...sorry should have said that first!
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