The Carnage Continues....
I woke up in
hospital with a severe headache and the doctor says I have
concpercussion (or something), and not to panic if I experience
double vision and dyslexia for a while. As all my new friends on
Wrod Clod know, I am not an experienced globber, in fact it was
only my good friend Warth who got me up and running in the first
place. Nayways, I hope I don't make too many mitsakes on this Glob,
that would be very embasserring!
My husband's come to visit, and he is completely distraught! During the "Propeller Cap Incident", our bedroom burnt to the ground. Apparently, the police and frie brigade were so busy looking for terrorists, letting off rubber bullets and interogating the buffalo head, they "forgot" to douse the flames. Great! Practically everything has been destroyed. All the animal's heads - gone. I must be honest, I'm not sorry about the Giraffe, it hadn't been properly taxidermiggled (not sure if that is the right wrod), and used to swell up in damp weather, so you couldn't open the cupboard door. The bullafo head was burnt, but the horns survived and my husband has mounted them on the front of his truck, which he says looks very sophisticated.
Oh! Now I'm getting tearful, he's just handed me a little blackened trophy. It's the solid nit cup I was awarded when I was six for swimming the width of the pool without my teef touching the bottom, and it's survived the fire!! Glup - sorry guys, I'm going to have to take a break to compose myself.
K.O. (Deep Threab) I'm back. My husband has finished setting up my computer so I am back to full "comms". Obviously, this being a Third World country, I don't have a laptop, so he had to bring in all my vintage, 1998 computer equipment. He got a bit rude, and asked me why I had to have my computer in hospital, and I explained that I needed to keep in touch with all my friends. He said I didn't have any friends, and I said yes I did, I had thirteen, and showed him the proof on Wrod Clod. That shut him up - me, no friends - huh!
I must say my hospital bed looks very impressive, a bit like mission corntol. I had to use all the other patients' tables and stuff, two patients complained, but I told them I worked for CNN, and now they both keep offering me their fruit. I suppose they think they can suck up and I'll get them some autographs or something.
I had to break off again then. There's been another fire, and I think I might have caused it! I suspect the twelve adaptors I plugged into the communal socket behind me, may have caused an overload. Luckily, I saw the smoke first, so I unplugged my equipment (if they ask, I can say it's all battery operated). Then, in what I consider an absolute stroke of genius, I plugged "next door patient's" ventilator into the adaptors, jumped into bed and pretended to be asleep. I'm not a coward or anything, but causing two fires in as many days is a bit awkward. Let someone else take the heat for a while, that's what I say. (Ooh, good pun!)
Nayways, to cut a short story long. One of the nurses came in, saw the fire, shouted "F***! We're being attacked by terrorists!" and ran off to call 911. The Police and Frie Brigade arrived, shooting rubber buttels and spraying tear gas and water all over the place. They put the fire out and went, leaving behind absolute choas! Drips had been shot, and were spraying antibiotics and saline solution everywhere, and the floor was like an ice rink. A doctor came in to see what was happening, slipped on a piece of fruit that someone had dropped near my bed, couldn't stop and flew out the widnow. Luckily his white coat caught on the window ledge and another doctor was able to pull him in by his stothiescope.
Two Doctros came to my bed, and kept asking me if I knew how the fire had started. "What fire?" I asked, and explained that I'd been asleep. To be honest, their bedside manners weren't all they should have been, so I started getting cross back. After all, while all the drama had been going on I'd been lying there with my eyes closed - I wondered, out loud, if anyone would have noticed if I'd been dead. That shut them up!
In the meanmite, my hubsand has been in again. He's run an extension lead out the window, and wired my computer to some elictrecity cables outside. This is basically the same system we have at home, it's much cheaper, you just have to be careful when it rains, or when you mow the lawn. I'm very glad to be up and running again, because sharing my trauma with my fellow Wrod Clodders is really helping.
I'm a bit worried about "next door patient", she's been very quiet since the fire. She's actually a bit sad, she's eighty five, and you'd think if someone got to that age they'd look after themselves, but she's got so many wrinkles she's obviously a heavy smoker. She's probably a big drinker as well, because her hands are sometimes quite shaky. I'll have to make sure my "stash" is well hidden. You really can't trust some people. Nayways, I'm not judgmental, so I've been throwing sweets at her to try and wake her up. That didn't work so I threw a banana, it was a bloody good shot, bouncing off her head and landing on the floor, but even that didn't work!
Oh cripes! Now I can see "next door patient's" husband coming. He's about ninety and has to use a Zimmer Farm to get around, and he's heading straight for the banana. What to do? What to do? If I warn him, he'll probably know I threw it, and then I'll get inot trouble - again. No, I think it's best for all if I pretend to be asleep and let nature take its' course.
Well, that took forever, I nearly did fall asleep waiting for him to get to his wife! How long does it take to walk across a ward for Christ's sake? Nayways, he got there safely, so I can pretend to wake up again. No, wait. Now he's shouting for a nurse! He's saying that someone's been throwing stuff at his wife. A nurse is coming in, and she's aiming straight at the banana. I'm going to have to pretend to be asleep - again. This is getting really exhausting. Maybe I'll have a proper sleep.
Where am I!
Oh good, it's raining! ZZZZZITTTTTTT!!!!!!
My husband's come to visit, and he is completely distraught! During the "Propeller Cap Incident", our bedroom burnt to the ground. Apparently, the police and frie brigade were so busy looking for terrorists, letting off rubber bullets and interogating the buffalo head, they "forgot" to douse the flames. Great! Practically everything has been destroyed. All the animal's heads - gone. I must be honest, I'm not sorry about the Giraffe, it hadn't been properly taxidermiggled (not sure if that is the right wrod), and used to swell up in damp weather, so you couldn't open the cupboard door. The bullafo head was burnt, but the horns survived and my husband has mounted them on the front of his truck, which he says looks very sophisticated.
Oh! Now I'm getting tearful, he's just handed me a little blackened trophy. It's the solid nit cup I was awarded when I was six for swimming the width of the pool without my teef touching the bottom, and it's survived the fire!! Glup - sorry guys, I'm going to have to take a break to compose myself.
K.O. (Deep Threab) I'm back. My husband has finished setting up my computer so I am back to full "comms". Obviously, this being a Third World country, I don't have a laptop, so he had to bring in all my vintage, 1998 computer equipment. He got a bit rude, and asked me why I had to have my computer in hospital, and I explained that I needed to keep in touch with all my friends. He said I didn't have any friends, and I said yes I did, I had thirteen, and showed him the proof on Wrod Clod. That shut him up - me, no friends - huh!
I must say my hospital bed looks very impressive, a bit like mission corntol. I had to use all the other patients' tables and stuff, two patients complained, but I told them I worked for CNN, and now they both keep offering me their fruit. I suppose they think they can suck up and I'll get them some autographs or something.
I had to break off again then. There's been another fire, and I think I might have caused it! I suspect the twelve adaptors I plugged into the communal socket behind me, may have caused an overload. Luckily, I saw the smoke first, so I unplugged my equipment (if they ask, I can say it's all battery operated). Then, in what I consider an absolute stroke of genius, I plugged "next door patient's" ventilator into the adaptors, jumped into bed and pretended to be asleep. I'm not a coward or anything, but causing two fires in as many days is a bit awkward. Let someone else take the heat for a while, that's what I say. (Ooh, good pun!)
Nayways, to cut a short story long. One of the nurses came in, saw the fire, shouted "F***! We're being attacked by terrorists!" and ran off to call 911. The Police and Frie Brigade arrived, shooting rubber buttels and spraying tear gas and water all over the place. They put the fire out and went, leaving behind absolute choas! Drips had been shot, and were spraying antibiotics and saline solution everywhere, and the floor was like an ice rink. A doctor came in to see what was happening, slipped on a piece of fruit that someone had dropped near my bed, couldn't stop and flew out the widnow. Luckily his white coat caught on the window ledge and another doctor was able to pull him in by his stothiescope.
Two Doctros came to my bed, and kept asking me if I knew how the fire had started. "What fire?" I asked, and explained that I'd been asleep. To be honest, their bedside manners weren't all they should have been, so I started getting cross back. After all, while all the drama had been going on I'd been lying there with my eyes closed - I wondered, out loud, if anyone would have noticed if I'd been dead. That shut them up!
In the meanmite, my hubsand has been in again. He's run an extension lead out the window, and wired my computer to some elictrecity cables outside. This is basically the same system we have at home, it's much cheaper, you just have to be careful when it rains, or when you mow the lawn. I'm very glad to be up and running again, because sharing my trauma with my fellow Wrod Clodders is really helping.
I'm a bit worried about "next door patient", she's been very quiet since the fire. She's actually a bit sad, she's eighty five, and you'd think if someone got to that age they'd look after themselves, but she's got so many wrinkles she's obviously a heavy smoker. She's probably a big drinker as well, because her hands are sometimes quite shaky. I'll have to make sure my "stash" is well hidden. You really can't trust some people. Nayways, I'm not judgmental, so I've been throwing sweets at her to try and wake her up. That didn't work so I threw a banana, it was a bloody good shot, bouncing off her head and landing on the floor, but even that didn't work!
Oh cripes! Now I can see "next door patient's" husband coming. He's about ninety and has to use a Zimmer Farm to get around, and he's heading straight for the banana. What to do? What to do? If I warn him, he'll probably know I threw it, and then I'll get inot trouble - again. No, I think it's best for all if I pretend to be asleep and let nature take its' course.
Well, that took forever, I nearly did fall asleep waiting for him to get to his wife! How long does it take to walk across a ward for Christ's sake? Nayways, he got there safely, so I can pretend to wake up again. No, wait. Now he's shouting for a nurse! He's saying that someone's been throwing stuff at his wife. A nurse is coming in, and she's aiming straight at the banana. I'm going to have to pretend to be asleep - again. This is getting really exhausting. Maybe I'll have a proper sleep.
Where am I!
Oh good, it's raining! ZZZZZITTTTTTT!!!!!!
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