The elephant in the room doesn't do what it says on the tin

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Published by: SecretSpi on 30th Sep 2011 | View all blogs by SecretSpi

I don't hear much spoken English these days, but I read a lot - forums, blogs, online news sites - where I think the "written" approximates to the spoken.

Pimlico Kid put up an amusing blog a few days ago about words that are beaten to death. Now, I find there are a few expressions that were clever or witty or kind of original the first time you heard/read them but they're now beginning to grate.

My current bugbears are in the title.

Which current expressions can you no longer bear to hear?

Comments

34 Comments

by Noodledoodle 7 months ago

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Well that is what it is supposed to be and I could probably handle it but my husband always says,
'The proof's in the pudding' which entirely misses the point. The proof of what for God's sake? And now it annoys me no end!!!
by curlykats 7 months ago

All that bloody work jargon - blue sky thinking outside the box - aargh!
by Tony 7 months ago

I watched the opening episode of Big Brother *hides head in shame* and some bimbo said "You can't judge a tiger by its stripes - I know it's supposed to be a leopard by its spots, but I say tiger!"

So if you don't like them, just mix and match and make up your own! "You can't judge a book by its icon" might catch on.
by CJ 7 months ago

"Mistakes were made" and "Lessons will be learned" when someone seriously screws up. I have lost count the amount of times I have heard this in reference to things from the banking crisis to malpractices within the NHS to various authorities responding to various atrocities (usually involving innocent kiddies being subjected to horrific circumstances)... yes, we know mistakes were made. And you keep making them. The problem is, lessons are not being learned, are they? They just seem such trite soundbites that get trotted out every single time something bad happens... "We've lost all your money / your granny has died in hospital when all she had was a sore throat / Some poor little mite has died due to extreme neglect by his or her incompetent parents? Well, mistakes were made, and lessons will be learned. It's like it makes everything better...
by Barry Walsh 7 months ago

'Ticks all the boxes'
by Autumn 7 months ago

Your title reminded me of the brilliant Anthony Jay writing for Derek Fowlds in Yes Prime Minister. Still makes me laugh 'til I weep.

Don't put up with them Spi - put your foot down; with a firm hand. :)
by Athelstone 7 months ago

I loathe inauthentic speech: speech which pretends, or lies, or tries to make the speaker sound more important, thoughtful or knowledgeable than they are. When a poitician says 'I am minded to (do something)' rather than I intend to, or want to, I am minded to attack them with a bat. When somebody announces that some event is common 'across the piece' then I immediately want to hurl them off the piste. When my boss announces that our reports must be ready on time because there is a problem 'in the finance space' then I imagine his last, desparate struggles in outer space. I could go on for ever 'going forward' but I content myself with one that cropped up in a previous blog. When some idiot politician is cornered with a pertinent question, and he rises to the challenge with a blaze of unrelated personal insulting jokes aimed at the questioner, and the bellicose laughter of his colleagues, then, PLEASE BBC or ITV or SKY, do NOT describe it as a 'robust defense.'
by Athelstone 7 months ago

Although, to be fair to the spirit of SecretSpi's blog, I don't think any of my examples were ever apt expressions which have been overused.
by Athelstone 7 months ago

And one last point before I outstay my welcome, anybody interested in hackneyed, overused expressions might like to read Orwell's essay 'Politics and the English Language' here http://www.george-orwell.org/l_orwell-essay.html
by SecretSpi 7 months ago

Bleurgh and yuk to you all!

"Pushing the envelope" - what's that all about? Maybe we should stuff the elephant in the envelope (or the tin or that box that you always have to be outside) and push it out of the room?
by EzBloke 7 months ago

Here's one I think is over-used and annoying; "Thank you for submitting your 'novel' Mr Wortley but we'll have to decline taking up your option this time..."

Sigh
by Tony 7 months ago

Ha! Well said, Ez.
by Barry Walsh 7 months ago

You can push the envelope all you like but it will remain stationery. (Old I know, but couldn't resist).
by Caducean Whisks 7 months ago

Two of mine are from TV scripts: 'Sort it out' / 'Sorted' / 'I've sorted it'; and 'We need to talk'. I don't think I've ever said to anyone, nor had it said to me, 'We need to talk' - i.e. it's never been announced, an issue flagged up, an appointment booked as it were. If we've needed to talk we've just, er, *talked*. Or sulked, or screamed, or cried, or whatever was called for.

And a third one - 'it's what it's all about' - when plainly, it isn't. As in, 'Switching on the lights in Regent St? It's what Christmas is all about!' (said last year). Well, no sir - actually, it isn't. Has very little to do with it for more than a handful of people in the world.
by EzBloke 7 months ago

I used to loathe and abhor people who waved a hand uttering "end of."
But now I wait a beat or two before my best John Cleese impression; "no it isn't"

In truth "lessons learned" is my current bug-bear too; we voted 'em in and loathed them so "lesson learned... " ooooo look we just voted the buggers back in again. Sigh.
by Weens 7 months ago

All the above, plus 'If you say so'. I find it so condescending that I can feel my hands balling into fists.
by Old Fat Prop 7 months ago

We call these words and phrases "W@nk words"

Before your next office/team meeting, take several bits of a4 and draw lines to make 16 squares

Write one of these phrases of words in each of the square such as Eye one the ball, end of the day, touch base, maximizes etc....in each square making a bingo card. Hand them out to everyone except the boss and see who has to shout "BINGO" when their card has four in a row.

Our boss stomped out when we explained then came back in laughing and adjourned the meeting.

We now speak English....
by Spangles 7 months ago

All of the above, and especially Pim's 'ticks all the boxes'. Also:

'Addressing the issue', which always makes me think of addressing an envelope

'It's definitely got the wow factor' - invariably used when describing something that looks like a limp lettuce

I occasionally watch property shows, such as Location, Location, Location and Escape to the Country, partly so I can count the number of cliches that crop up. I am never disappointed!

'Interfacing' instead of 'talking'. Ditto 'dialoguing' instead of 'discussing'.

'What am I like?' I always take this to mean 'You may think I'm a prat but I know I'm wonderful'

'What's that all about?' after describing someone's odd actions. 'She trussed up her husband with his dressing gown belt, shoved pipe cleaners in his ears and set light to them. What's that all about?'
by AlanP 7 months ago

Might I offer "Low Hanging Fruit"

And from a different world "Customer Experience" and/or "Customer Journey"
by Sproutmaster 7 months ago

I must say I quite like the elephant in the room, mostly because of the image it evokes! I like elephants.

I know it's not a turn of phrase as such, but it really bugs me when people, and official mail says 'PIN Number', do they not realise what PIN stands for?
by SecretSpi 7 months ago

I do like the idea of retorts to some of these - and maybe asking people what they mean when they use such expressions. What elephant?

Spangles mentioned overzealous use of "journey" on PK's blog - the comment about it being used to describe having breakfast made me laugh...
by Eli d’Elbée 7 months ago

Why is that when anything goes wrong it's a "Perfect storm"? And where are all those banking sods who kept talking about "green shoots" in 2009/10?
by Eddytip 7 months ago

I just though I'd 'touch base' to see what's going on in The Cloud. And can I just have a quick grip about bankers and the like who claim to have 'products' when they've never made anything - other than money - in their lives. Oh, that's much better.
by Spangles 7 months ago

Spi, i think you're right - we should all play dumb and take these expressions literally.

'Level playing field' is another phrase that annoys me. I recently heard someone on the radio complaining about the lack of funding for some sports. He actually said 'The trouble is that not all sports are on a level playing field.'
by Gerilyn 7 months ago

These made me laugh, Spangles; '' 'What am I like?' I always take this to mean 'You may think I'm a prat but I know I'm wonderful'

'What's that all about?' after describing someone's odd actions. 'She trussed up her husband with his dressing gown belt, shoved pipe cleaners in his ears and set light to them. What's that all about?' ''

:D
by Tony 7 months ago

That was funny, Spangles. I guess he was thinking of skiing.
by AlanP 7 months ago

I don't know why I'm in here because I should be working, but I find myself wondering. Is it possible to buy pipe cleaners these days, aside from specialist tobacconists, which are

"As rare as hen's teeth"

Taraaaaa
by Caducean Whisks 7 months ago

Alan, I think you'll find many a pipe cleaner in craft shops these days - just waiting to be bent into stickmen, stickdogs, spectacles and so on. Good inventions are the simplest - and can re-invent themselves over and over again.
by Spangles 7 months ago

How cool is that?

(A phrase I completely and utterly - yes, I know that's tautological - detest.)
by stephenterry 7 months ago

it's a rhetoric question, reAL COOL
by stephenterry 7 months ago

coolaphonic is a surfer's phrase for the coolest of the cool
by John Taylor 7 months ago

Phrases have associations, and after many years work that included assessing people's 'life skills', there is one phrase that makes me shudder even more violently than 'life skills'. PK has already mentioned it: 'Ticks all the boxes'. I hated reducing human beings to a series of ticks in boxes, and caused clerical staff nightmares by writing all over my assessments. The boxes rarely fitted or did justice to the human beings, and even worse were the scorecards that added up to a number in order to decide whether the person was entitled to a service or not.
by SecretSpi 7 months ago

What are y'all like?

I remember being in a meeting about fifteen years ago with clients from a well-known global consumer goods company. They kept on asking if we had "alignment" - eventually I ventured with "do you mean whether we've got our ducks in a row?" to some bemused faces. The ducks are probably just as bad as that famous elephant but both are preferable to "alignment."
by Tony 7 months ago

Maybe the Big Brother bimbo had the right idea with 'Don't judge a tiger by its stripes'. Perhaps we should make up our own for different situations.

Deciding between destinations: 'Far off fields take longer to reach'

Urging caution: 'a watched kettle never boils over'

Suggesting someone's getting above their station: 'the pot calling the kettle by name'

A lay-line metaphor: 'getting all your steeples in a row'

... the possibilities are endless - 'the well never runs away'.