The Word Cloud

I've just sent off my third book to my agent to send on to my publisher. It's bought and paid for, as is the fourth which is still only just starting to creep forward from the back of my brain.

The thing is, and what I wanted to share with those of you biting your nails waiting for the phone to ring or for the enquiry letter to come back, is that it doesn't get any easier.

When you send out a manuscript you are always putting yourself up for minute scrutiny at best, judgement worse.

You spent months writing it, played with it, printed and read it dozens of times and it will never be perfect but you hope that those who know will see it for what it's worth past the adverbs and repetition that you only ever spot afterwards.

I know I've got months of copyediting to come, swathes of red pen and questionmarks but I just want that one word of approval to begin with and then I'll calm down.

Hopefully most of us write because we need to and not because we've got our eyes on a helicopter we want to buy (those days are gone) and you may think that published authors are contented souls who have done the hard part and are just writing by numbers now. Don't.

If anything your first book is the one to treasure. The world has no expectation of you. People are not going to ask for their money back or realise that you just don't have it in you after all and if they reject you it's for a hundred reasons that you may never be privileged to know If they reject you after you're published then you're really doing something wrong.

My point is that a writer who will stay the course should always be nervous. Judge your own work ruthlessly and you can only ever be pleasantly surprised. If you find yourself adamant that you have written a bestseller or a literary masterpiece that will one day be acquired reading for university chances are you may not be the writer that you want to be.

And remember what I said: It ain't gonna get any easier. Just better. Hopefully.

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