toilet humour

Published by: Weens on 3rd Aug 2010 | View all blogs by Weens
Following Caf's toilet story, I thought you might enjoy this.

(* Note:  If you don't know what an outhouse is - ask someone a little older)



The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.





With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.


She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.






He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"
 

Comments

9 Comments

  • Gels
    by Gels 1 year ago
    hahaha, this is great!!! love it, were there meant to be pics?? there are just empty spaces on my comp? xx
  • Weens
    by Weens 1 year ago
    There are pics. I think you may need some software. I don't know which one, maybe adobe.
  • reodijiniro
    by reodijiniro 1 year ago
    lol funny the pics dont show up on my laptop either
  • Weens
    by Weens 1 year ago
    I don't know why they aren't showing. The first pic is of an old American gas station, early 1900's look. The second picture is a ramshackle shed and the last picture, is inside the shed. A wooden ledge with two bum shaped holes in it.
  • Tony
    by Tony 1 year ago
    I thought they'd been censored by Tommy :-)
  • Caf
    by Caf 1 year ago
    Oh lovely, this is laugh out loud terrific! Don't worry I got the pictures, perhaps my computer is just more advanced. Oh bloody hell, there I go telling lies again. Help I need a support group.

    Caf
  • Caf
    by Caf 1 year ago
    oh, actually Weens the toilet story was Gels. I know we do look alike, perhaps I'm slightly prettier, but she told that bloody funny story about the bat, not me. Mine was the snake shoot out at kettle pass, story, very easy to confuse, but hers was far more succinct and therefore funnier.
  • Wrathnar the Unreasonable
    Clean toilet humour you've invented already!
  • Weens
    by Weens 1 year ago
    I didn't write this, it was sent to me in an email. I posted it because of the recent focus on toilets.
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