Which Book Would You Like To Have Written?

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Published by: Steve on 30th Apr 2010 | View all blogs by Steve

Dead simple. Just for laughs. Which book (any one from history) would you be most proud to be the author of?

AND/OR

Which character from a book would you most like to actually be for a bit?

Comments

37 Comments

by Wrathnar the Unreasonable 2 years ago

I'd like to have written the bible, but with a lot more sex&drugs&rock'n'roll. There would also be more aliens and dinosaurs. And lots of kersplosions!
by AlanP 2 years ago

I think probably Frankenstein because it was written in the days when there were still original ideas to be had and it certainly was that. And because I want to have written it and I can't have that fantasy because the author's name was Mary, then I'd like to be the narrator, which is the next best thing.
by SecretSpi 2 years ago

I'd have been proud to have written (Alice) Through the Looking Glass.
And my character - I've said this before but I would love, love, love to be Sally Jay Gorce from "The Dud Avocado".
by Bradwyn 2 years ago

The Lord of the Rings. I think Tolkien was the Greatest story-teller of all time. I would stop writing if i wrote a book half as good. so i'll just keep on writing and hope for the best.
by Jak 2 years ago

mmm... any book? I think I would be proud to have written the Oxford dictionary :)
by Skylark 2 years ago

Well....from a purely monetary point of view, it would have to be Harry Potter - hee hee. But from a more literary point of view, I think it would have to be His Dark Materials...or the Moonstone...or the Time Travellers Wife...or the Blind Assassin... or Possession...or Behind the Scenes at the Museum....or anything by Jane Austen...actually I can't make up my mind there are too many and (apart from the first one) I haven't even started on all the children's fiction I would have liked to have written. As for characters...cheesy but the first one that springs to mind is Emma Woodhouse...also maybe Sally Lockhart from Pullman's Ruby in the Smoke trilogy. When I was a kid I wanted to be Jo from the Chalet School books :-)
by mike 2 years ago

Dear Allan,
You could have been Shelley there is still debate about his contribution to the book! I would have liked to have written 'Pickwick Papers'
by zomb00 2 years ago

The Courtyard Hound by Ushakovo ;)

Character? Kolya, from City of Thieves. . . or Marafice Eye from the Sword of Shadows series.
by SecretSpi 2 years ago

Hey, Steve! We need your own answers here too...
by Gerry 2 years ago

To Wrathnar, I'd like to have written the bits that got left out of the Bible - you know, "the sons of God looked on the daughters of men and saw that they were fair... and there were Nephelim in those days" (scribbling from memory). A lot of the stuff came from Sumerian stories - I'd sure like to have been in a position to have written some of them (although, I suppose the theory of reincarnation does not exclude the possibility that I was!)
by Tony 2 years ago

Erm... I think you'll find those bits are right in there, Gerry; just befor the flood (Genesis ch. 6)
I'd like to have written Howard Spring's "My Son, My Son" (to keep up the biblical motif) - a powerful, beautiful novel.
by Steve 2 years ago

A monkey for me 'cause I bet that the first responce would say The Bible. I also had a side-bet that it would be Wrath, so I'm quids-in.

Splendid responses - some completely expected, some not. For me it's the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. But, of course, I'm rather glad that Douglas Adams wrote it and not me, otherwise it would not be the masterpiece that it is.

I haven't yet come across a character that I would like to be... quite happy as I am, ta, but I might cheat and say any one of the gazillion shapeshifters that have been written about that can form anything or completely take the persona of any being. I'd have some fun with that, and put a few worldly wrongs right.
by Rebecca Holmes 2 years ago

The Grapes of Wrath - absolutely amazing. And Jane Eyre.
by Ancient Woodland 2 years ago

Which book would I have loved to have written? The Very Hungry Caterpillar. (Eric Carle)

Which character would I most like to be? Jaim Grymauch. No contest.
by Persia 2 years ago

The Bible has already been mentioned; I wouldn't change a thing - the depth and profound wisdom would be ruined by human tampering. I still would have loved to write one of the books, just because it would mean that I had been there at a historic moment. But if I could choose another book, I'd have to say any of C.S. Lewis's fantasies, or JRR Tolkien's - the depth of preparation alone filled volumes that were never published. A favourite character to be? That's tough - I love my life as it is. But I might say Lucy Pevensie (Narnia) - discovering Narnia so young, a close friendship with Aslan, and growing up to be queen - not a bad position to be in, in life! Of course, she did have to start all over again, but still...
by Wrathnar the Unreasonable 2 years ago

Wot about the koran, then? Could also do with more dinosaurs, aliens, kersplosions etc.
by Spangles 2 years ago

I've been mulling over this enticing question for hours now.

Book I wish I'd written? The Great Gatsby. I would have been so proud of that final paragraph in particular.

Character I'd like to be? My choice is the same as SecretSpi's - Sally Jay Gorce.
by Gerry 2 years ago

Last word on the Bible - have you see R. Crumb's illustrated Book of Genesis? The illustrations are not to my taste but I still find it fascinating. Flip to any page and you'll find something odd going on. Lots of incestuous rumpy pumpy. And what about Abraham pimping his Mrs to Pharaoh (interesting theory on this in the notes at the back of the book)?
by Skylark 2 years ago

Yes! Very Hungry Caterpillar - that's a classic AW, had forgotten all about it until you mentioned it :-)
by EmmaD 2 years ago

I can't think of the Bible as a single book. It so clearly isn't. I wish I'd written Emma - not for the obvious reason, but because it's the perfect novel. If not, then Golding's Rites of Passage. I'd like to be Winnie the Pooh, or Harriet Vane.
by Kate.J 2 years ago

Not very original, but definitely Pride and Prejudice. And I think I'd like to be Bertie Wooster's Aunt Dahlia.
by CJ 2 years ago

A toss up between Alice in Wonderland, The Hobbit and At the Mountains of Madness. All three are just testaments to how huge the human imagination truly can be... As for a character, it's got to be Bilbo Baggins, officially the Hardest Hobbit in Hobbiton.

(Wrathnar - agreed. Can I also add Jane Eyre to that? If a novel ever needed dinosaurs, aliens and kerplosions, it's Jane Eyre... (sorry all those who like the book, but it was one of my A level texts and it bored me to tears! A Velociraptor or two chasing Jane into the many ditches she seemed to end up in... now that would have livened proceedings up a little.))
by Khaloth 2 years ago

Dune is a book i'd be proud to have written.

As for character i am not sure; all i know is that i'd rather not be anyone from my books.

Mistress Elysia, maybe this book is more to your liking than Jane Eyre ? http://books.simonandschuster.com/Jane-Slayre/Charlotte-Bronte/9781439191187
by Gerry 2 years ago

Ah, if we're inserting kerplosions etc - I've always wondered how Status Quo would go down in Pride and Prejudice land. I reckon Lydia would be bopping away in no time. Elizabeth possibly never (though Mrs Bennet would insist she have a go).
by EmmaD 2 years ago

"Pride and Prejudice land." Come to think of it, I'd die happy if I could say I'd written Jasper Fforde's Book World novels.
by Barb 2 years ago

Mister Bennet! There's enough band members for each of my daughters.
by John Taylor 2 years ago

To have written: Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. It's a perfect tale. Or Lighthousekeeping by Jeanette Winterson, because I would like to have that ability to link language and imagination.

To inhabit: His Dark Materials (not sure if I would be a person or a person's daemon). It would be fun to be Just William - and for a short time, Philip Marlowe (in between hangovers and getting bashed on the head). Changing gender, I've always identified with Anne Eliot in Persuasion.
by John Taylor 2 years ago

...and I forgot to mention Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat
by Ancient Woodland 2 years ago

Now there's an idea! The Stainless Steel Rat, I grew up on that, and his wife was a bit of all right...
by Minxie 2 years ago

Kylie Minogue's biography
by John Taylor 2 years ago

When my last brain cells decide to return to their childhood, I'd like to live in Postman Pat's Greendale. I loved reading Postman Pat to my infants. They've suddenly turned into two students, and the second one will leave teenage forever next week. So it won't be too long before I'm off to cosy Greendale.

Yes, AW, the SSR's wife was a bit of all right. They were the sort of good pulp fiction that you read and pass on, and they left my shelves years ago.
by Rebecca Holmes 2 years ago

That brings back memories. We had loads of PP books, and when he came on the telly, peace was assured for a few minutes. He was my younger daughter's particular favourite (older one preferred Fireman Sam!) Maybe I'll see you there when I head up that way...
That actually reminds me of some other books I wish I'd written. Anyone remember Rogue Herries and the rest of the Herries Chronicles?
by Wrathnar the Unreasonable 2 years ago

Postman Pat versus the alien lesbian dinosaurs from Hell! Kerblam, pow, *scream!!!*, splat, gurgle . . .
by mike 2 years ago

Howard Jacobson argued for the Bible as a work of literature in a recent TV programme but i understand it was written by God but I might have got this wrong. Do you really want to be god?
by John Taylor 2 years ago

Only God could write in so many different, vivid, conflicting and contrasting styles. Or...
by Wrathnar the Unreasonable 2 years ago

Winnie the Pooh versus the Nuclear Tigersquid from Beyond the Stars.
by Wrathnar the Unreasonable 2 years ago

Jemima Puddleduck's adventures with the mutant space bikers.