The Word Cloud

This may not make much sense if you haven't read the previous parts. Then again it doesnt make a lot of sense anyway! ;)

Jane Titantits managed to get the shower door open far enough to reach the button on the intercom. "Scotty, send help. I'm stuck in my shower. The damn thing won't let me out."

"Ach, dinna worry yerself, lassie," replied Scotty calmly. "It's just the lengthy, and entirely gratuitous, shower scene. It doesn't advance the plot a jot but it does wonders for the box office."

"But I'm starting to wrinkle!"

"Well try soaping yourself down then washing one thigh in a lingering and sultry sort of way. It won't actually get you any cleaner but it might give them what they need to wrap the scene."

"How did I get stuck in a movie scene anyway? I though this was about proper writers issues!" (The author dons his own steel helmet at this point. Hey, blame Jane not me. I'm just writing the material my characters give me!).

"I can't say," said Scotty having dropped his silly Scottish accent. "I suspect it has something to do with movie options though."

"Has anyone found my uniform buttons? I did manage to steal most of my underwear back from Taarg."

Suddenly the shower turned itself off and the door sprang open.

"Thank god," said Jane with feeling.

Meanwhile on the bridge Spark was, in his calm manner, calmly reporting to Dirk about their latest mission.

"Starfleet advise there is a spatial anomaly in the sector, Captain."

Dirk took the news calmly. "What sort of anomaly?"

"It’s a repetition anomaly of some kind. I wonder what kind of repetition it causes?" reflected Spark calmly.

Dirk reflected calmly on the news his First Officer had delivered. "I have no idea but we better stay calm. No need to panic yet."

"Actually," corrected Taarg. "I believe there is. Jane has escaped from her shower and she is on her way here. She doesn't look calm at all."

"Calm!" growled Jane entering the bridge. "I'll give you bloody calm! Alright which one of you bastards hired that damn film crew?"

"Hmmm," reflected Dirk calmly." I think using you as the movie hook may have been a mistake. I never realised how wrinkly you are."

Luckily Taarg already had his phaser set on stun or he would never have been able to stop her from ripping the Captain to shreds.