Writing is a strange fruit.
Well, this is odd...
Since I started revising my story, I've become quite good at being ruthless. I'm actually quite proud of this; even though it's hard to see so much hard work being consigned to the ether in a fraction of the time it took to create, the fact that I can do this now without wanting to sob is something I view positively. If I get 'The Niggle', then it's a case of 'stand up to reworking or die' - no prisoners are taken.
This happened to chapter 8. I think I knew when I started writing it that it wasn't working - it was the only chapter I didn't finish properly, but I hadn't learned to listen to 'The Niggle' at that point and so I just kept going. And, as sure as eggs is eggs, when I came to re-read it back, 'The Niggle' became more of 'The Big Fat NOOOOOOOO!!!!!', and so I scrapped the lot, alongside a lot of the chapter 7 set up and the subsequent sub plot that followed it. It was a lot of writing to scrap, but once that lump was cut away, I did feel better.
So, although happy with getting rid of the excess flab, I also had a huge, gaping wound in my story to suture. Whilst the sub plot was cut (something I am now deliriously happy about, since it has freed of juggling too many balls at once), there was a character that still needed introducing and a whole set of questions that needed setting up. So I had a think and realised that I could make a later scene make more sense if I wrote this new chapter in a specific way.
As I was writing it, I had a sneaking suspicion that the scene was a bit twee, and wasn't sure whether I liked it or not. But since I tend to feel this about near enough everything I write, I figured I'd write it anyway and see what became of it - after all, the sneaking suspicion turned into 'The Niggle', I could always delete it and start again. And I'd even had another idea just in case this one did turn into 'The Niggle' and needed to be banished - RESULT!
After I wrote it, I decided - like a good girl - to leave it to rest. I went back to other chapters, did loads of work on those, found a greater sense of exactly what the story needed and my perceived doubts about this new chapter grew. Without even reading it, 'The Niggle' began to slink out of its lair, and with a heavy sigh, I began planning out yet another chapter 8. I knew there were a few things I wanted to keep, though, so I steeled myself to wince and printed off a copy and, red pen in hand, prepared to cannibalise what I could.
But life is never that simple, is it? As I read the re-write, another feeling crept over me. It was insidious and wholly unexpected. A 'Niggle' of another kind, in fact. Far from disliking the chapter, I... liked it?
So now my Inner Critic is in a total tizz. It wants to hate. It really, really does. I can feel it there, boiling away, trying to summon 'The Niggle'. But 'The Niggle' doesn't want to come out and play. And for some, weird reason I cannot fathom, this has unsettled and confused me more than when I need to cut stuff out. I'm used to the Inner Critic sitting there with her arms crossed, giving me a disapproving shake of the head whilst tutting under her breath. What I am not used to is her sitting there with confounded look on her face, trying to justify her bile but failing to do so.
Which leads me to one conclusion and one conclusion only: writing is a strange, strange fruit indeed, and something I don't think I'll ever fully understand. Ever.
And you know what? In a way, I'm kind of glad of that... ^^D
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11 Comments
That's what places like this are for. Gis a look! Stick it up here; or some of it if it's too long.
My main issue is I tie myself in knots and then can't get out from my head what I want the story section to say. So I don't tend to have a niggle, I get jumbled and tied up then after tearing the section apart often find there's no real need of 100 words when all I simply need to do is add the info in earlier or later in the chapter by using 10 words.
I don't think what you've written has been wasted though. It's all helped to identify charactors, story line and where you want it to lead to. You've learned to listen to the niggle and more importantly take notice of it. Now you have to learn to hear when it's telling you things are fine.
Good luck hun
It needs more work (since it was very much a first draft), but there was something about the gentle pace, the growing friendships, the hints that underneath the bucolic idyll, something isn't right... it doesn't happen often, but it just seems to work (note the use of the word 'seems' - I expect to be back in a couple of days time, ranting about how stupid I was!). Who knew writing a scene set at a potato harvest (of all things!) could be so... satisfying?
or go and doodle. Or you could try meditating on the problem. I find just laying there, eyes closed, quietening the mind settles me down, then Poof!, there's the answer.
either way, I'm switching off soon myself tonight to settle to a new series of Human Target. (sad how simple things get me excited these days - I also get rediculously excited to watch Castle. Dear me. Is there hope for me?)
follow your instincts hun.
nite folks
but seriously- i guess my only question is this- if you feel like you should be cutting a piece, but look at it and it seems right, then maybe the piece itself is fine, BUT, it doesn't fit within the context of the story- like a perfectly written chapter that doesn't need to be there, but still demonstrates character, setting, and all those other things that you want to show your reader.
that said, given that you wrote the chapter with a specific end in mind, it is probably playing a fairly crucial roll.
damn this semi faulty shift key.
oh well, sounds like you're doing well. good luck!
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