The Word Cloud

...is worth two MSs in the bush?

Maybe, maybe not, but I've bitten the bullet and I'm going be published!

I probably won't be up in the best-seller lists and I'm going to have to roll my sleeves up and do my own marketing but that's my job anyway.

Looking forward to the adventure ahead and I'll keep you updated.

Click here for the latest.

 

Just before our younger son was born, my husband and I (mostly I) were having daily, no scrap that, hourly 'toddler' battles with our older son. It was all a bit of nightmare and for the first time ever, I actually understood how some people found themselves crying out for Supernanny and the like. 

(Note here: one lesson, perhaps the most crucial, that I have learned from being a parent is never, ever, ever, ever, ever judge another parent on anything. Really, it's not worth it because I can assure you that one small moment of smug satisfaction does not even begin to make you feel better when you realise that you are hurtling headlong down the slipperly slope towards that same parent you judged mere months earlier.)

Anyhow, back to the older son. He was driving us insane testing every single boundary and finding not just chinks but huge, cavernous holes in our armour. (Hear that? It's the sound of smug satisfaction crumbling to dust at our feet.) With younger son's arrival imminent, we started to trawl through the self-help books, watch repeats of Supernanny (making notes) and, eventually, visited our wonderful Health Visitor to plead for some inspiration. This is when we struck gold.

Our HV pointed us in the direction of a book written by Australian Dr Christopher Green titled 'Toddler Taming'. Now, usually, I take self-help books with a large pinch of salt. I agree with the bits I like and I ignore the rest. But I have to say that everything Dr Green wrote in Toddler Taming made sense to me.

It's too much to go into here but one of the most important facts that I gained from the book is this: Toddlers have no common sense. I may fudge the science a bit here but I think what he was saying is that children do not develop the frontal lobe of their brain (where reasoning and common sense reside) until they are somewhere around 4 or even 5 years old. Therefore, there is no point reasoning with them. He suggests that if we understand this one fact, then we can begin to manage their behaviour rather than confront it. Using the analogy of a boulder-strewn road, he suggests swerving around the boulders rather than aiming for a head on colision.

So, we read up on his hints and tips for various scenarios and began to test them out on our older son. We employed Dr Green's strategies on managing mealtimes, dealing with potty training issues, keeping bedtimes calm and, when our younger son arrived, Dr Green's advice on dealing with a new arrival turned out to be invaluable. The difference, and in a very short space of time, was striking. We were cool, we were calm, we were collected. Our armour had not even a hairline crack in it. Boundaries were firmly re-established. Nonsense was curtailed.

But every now and again it all goes horribly wrong. Like tonight. Tonight nothing went to plan. Usually both my husband and I are around at bedtime. Usually older son goes to bed with minimal fuss. Usually, if younger son is a little unsettled after his bedtime feed, he waits at least half an hour before kicking off by which time older son is sleeping deeply enough that he doesn't get disturbed. Not tonight. My husband had to rush out to a meeting as soon as stories with older son had finished. Younger son woke up the minute his feed was done and wailed. Older son spotted an opportunity to play the getting-out-of-bed game. I remained cool, calm and collected for all of about ten minutes and then Toddler Taming was thrown out of the nearest window and I collided head-on with one of Dr Green's boulders. I broke every single one of his rules and probably a few more that he didn't think even needed mentioning.

In the end it took just less than an hour to persuade older son to stay in bed and to rock younger son back to sleep. It could have been worse.  But I still feel like beating myself with a stick. I think, though, I'll settle for a spot of wibbling in the corner instead and then, when my brain has re-solidified, I'll probably dig out Dr Green for some self-chastising before dragging my sorry self to bed.

Sigh.

For anyone that might be interested, here's the first page of my adventure story for 9-12s that won the Earlyworks competition. 
I'm still not sure how things will go from here, but it's the beginning of an adventure for me too!

I've just finished a rewrite of my children's adventure story for 9 - 12s, set in Germany during the Cold War years. I thought I'd post the first bit (it's actually one of those P-word things but we don't mention that!) as it seems to fit the season. Some of you may have read an earlier version.

Not really looking for critique, but if anyone finds any ghastly errors or bits that could read better, I'd be interested to know:

One of my (or any author's) biggest gripes about publishers is the awful catch 22 which afflicts us when it comes to marketing. On the one hand, our beautifully crafted novels are regretfully declined because publishers don't think there's a market for them. On the other hand, those same regretful publishers almost never say what they think there IS a market for. So we authors are reduced to throwing darts at a board, hoping that an acquisition committee somewhere will allow one of those darts to stick. Trouble is, each dart takes a year or so to throw, and if the dart ain't sticking, there ain't nobody paying.

So all the more cheering, then, to see that Scholastic is telling us what's hot in children's publishing. Paranormal romance is still in (though moving beyond vampires). Humour's in. Myth is in. So a comedy vampire snogging Hercules should be about right.

Of course, what Scholastic is doing here is telling us what's succeeded in 2010 and what they expect to do well in 2011. Trouble is, if you're starting a novel now, you really need to know what's going to be all the rage in 2012/13 ... and you can be pretty sure that, by then, the hottest fires aflame now will be largely burned out. Which takes us back to where we were.

Darn it. Still: at least Scholastic are trying, so they deserve a mince pie or two for that.

When I finally finished my children's manuscript I was on a real high. Now I could start to send it out to agents. I chose a few of the best agents (why not start with the best I thought?) and emailed  a few chapters according to their guidelines. I then sat back and prepared myself for the long 6 - 8 week wait. Imagine my surprise ( and dismay!) just fifteen minutes later, when I received my first rejection. I wasn't sure whether to be glad that they had read my submission so quickly or disappointed that a few minutes was all it took to dismiss my months-long work. Is this a record?

Ok, so I've thought up a pretty good children's story, but as I've never written this type before I was wondering if any of you could offer me some advice?

A speedy google adventure led me to this blog, which helps a lot, but I was wondering if there's anything else I should know before starting?

Thanks, Andrew. 

Ok, so I've thought up a pretty good children's story, but as I've never written this type before I was wondering if any of you could offer me some advice?

A speedy google adventure led me to this blog, which helps a lot, but I was wondering if there's anything else I should know before starting?

Thanks, Andrew. 

When my daughter Lauren was five, a relative gave her a copy of the song "I Hope You Dance" and she has loved it ever since.  It's a statement of all the things you might wish for your child.  Lovely sentiment, and it made me think hard about what I wanted for her.  It must have been in my head all this time.  Lauren just turned eleven and finally I wrote a few words on what I wish for her.  

I wondered how many of you have done something like this.  I guess everyone thinks about it one time or another.  So I wanted to ask: What are your hopes for your children (whether you have them or not)?  And your fears?  When you wonder about their future, what comes to mind?  Do we do the right thing, thinking about it at all, or should we just wait and see?

Anyway, here are the thoughts that occurred to me.  Maybe when she's twenty-one it will be time to write another letter, or just to send her this one.

I hope you dance

Dear Lauren,

You always loved that song – I Hope You Dance.  Well, here are some of the things that I hope for you.  I don’t know why it took me so long to write this down.  Sometimes thoughts take their time to grow, I suppose.  And sometimes the things we know best are the ones we’re least aware of, the things we care about the most the ones we find the hardest to say.  But all things can be said somehow if you try hard enough, so I will try to say these things here.

The first time I knew you had entered the world was the moment the nurse put you in my arms.  I had heard a baby crying a moment earlier, but you often hear babies crying and I didn’t immediately realise what this meant.  Then as I looked at your tiny face, framed in white blanket, I slowly, for I have always thought very slowly, began to understand that the long wait was over.  You had arrived and everything about my life had changed for good.  You were only a few minutes old when you first opened your eyes, and you looked right at me and smiled.  I had never felt so many emotions at once.  I probably never will again.

It seems like yesterday but now eleven years are behind us.  Maybe it seems longer to you than to me.  Time can pass so quickly when you’re not watching it pass, and I wish now that I had spent more time watching, noticing, remembering.  I wonder how quickly the next eleven years will go by.  I for one will be trying to make them pass as slowly as possible but then I am now middle-aged and in no rush to get any older.

It is easy for me to say, “Take your time to enjoy being young.”  Less easy for you to do it, I suppose.  There really are good things about being your age, however old you are, because every age has its good things.  And once you have lived it, it is over and you will never be that young again.  So enjoy as much of it as you can, and remember the good moments.  You may not always like being young – nobody  really ever appreciates anything until it is gone – but every moment of it that you can make good will be a memory for you to cherish.

I can’t remember the first time I saw the sky – I was too young.  I do remember the first time that I knew I loved music – I was too old.  You discovered music when you were still a little girl and I hope that it never leaves you.  You love to dance and you love to sing to your favourite songs, and I hope that whatever happens in your life you always will.

Maybe all parents wonder what their children will be when they grow up – will you be a painter or an actress, or a scientist maybe?  You might work in a record shop or start a pizza restaurant or dig up dinosaur fossils.  Study diseases and try to find cures, or maybe look after animals or explore Mars.  I don’t know what you will do.  You probably don’t yet.  But whatever job you do, I hope you always find time to think about the world and to wonder how simple it is and yet how complex.  How every grain of sand contains more information than the biggest library.  How light, heat and radio are all the same thing really, just different colours of it.  How almost everything is made almost entirely of nothing at all – we are barely here.

Yet I hope you never let the unknown overcome you.  Learn how everything works.  Learn how little we all know about it.  Accept that there is always a better explanation but learn about the best explanations that we have.  It doesn’t do any harm to the wonder – to the majesty and mystery of the universe – to know a little about it.  So whatever you try to work out as your life gets more and more complicated, never accept ignorance as a solution – always try to think it through.  Try to know as much as you can about as many things as you can.

I hope you never have to be alone and are never without a friend to call on.  I hope you and I will always be friends, but I guess there comes a time when fathers and daughters can’t be.  You have to grow up and you have to find out who you are.  You won’t need me for that – you have to do it for yourself.  But when you finally do know who you are and what you want out of life, maybe you will come and tell me how you feel about it.

My life has been such a pleasure, such a privilege, for all the suffering it sometimes held, and I hope that one day you will look back and say the same.  To be here and human is the greatest thing.  Who knows what kind of a world we will have when you are my age.  It may be a lot hotter and stormier.  We may have different countries, different problems, different homes.  Life may be easier in some ways and harder in others.  But I hope you can still find the time to appreciate what a wonderful world it is – to really look at it and just take it in.  Feel the tangy air coming off the ocean, see the dew glistening on every leaf in the morning light, hear the gentle buzz of people talking far away and know that you are somehow home somewhere on this pale, watery world where everyone you have ever known or heard of has lived out their lives.

Some things you can change, some you can’t.  But only you can work out which.  There is probably only one way to do anything and that is to just do it.  And do it your way.

Sometimes I wish I could do things again, start all over and get it right this time.  But I can't.  All I can hope to do is to learn from my mistakes.  I still make lots of those so there should be plenty to learn for some time to come.  And I guess I can't make your mistakes for you, any more than I can save you from making them.  We're all different and we mess up in different ways.  So don’t worry when things go wrong.  That’s how life is.  Those are just times you can learn from.  And there will be good times too, great times.  Even if you don’t realise how great they are when they are happening, you will remember them for ever.

Maybe that’s the trick about life – to remember the best bits of what has gone before, and not to expect too much, or too little, from the rest that is unfolding – whatever happens, it will be good in places.  And if it were good all the time, it wouldn’t be good at all.  It is the differences, the changes, that we feel.  So whatever happens in your life, I hope you find a way to accept it all, the ups and the downs, for you cannot be happy unless you have recently been sad, nor rich unless you have been poor nor excited unless you have been bored.  It’s worth it, it’s all worth it.  So go grow up now, go be someone different from your mother, different from me.  Do your thing, and do it your way.  But before you do, could you tidy your room one last time?

All my love,

 Dad

 

I was watching Russell Howards comedy show last night (hes not really my sort of comedian but my bf likes him) anyway he always does a serious piece at the end and this week he was talking about Post Pals. Its a website that lists very poorly boys and girls that you can send letters/postcards and little gifts to via addresses on the websites. I was really touched by what I saw on the show and decided to take a look for myself.

Well needless to say I spent the next few hours in tears looking at the profiles of all the sick little children in need of some smiles on there. Lots of them are suffering from multiple diseases, lots of which are incurable along with horrible cancers.

There is memorial page which shows some profiles of the children that have sadly already been lost, but who's lives where made that bit happier by the special friends they had on Post Pals. As I have nieces and nephews (whom I love to pieces) of similar ages to lots of the children (including those lost), it really hits home how lucky everyone is to have a happy and healthy child in there life!

I have already picked the first child I intend to have as my little post pal! Her name is Poppy, she will be the first but certainly not the last :o) I hope you all take time to look at the website and get yourself a pal, it takes so little time and energy from us and our lives and gives SO much to theres!

Thanks for reading guys!!

www.postpals.co.uk