The Word Cloud

I read a lot. Of course I do. Current and newly published works feature in my reading. It’s informative, keeps one up to date and is recommended for those with aspirations such as mine. It is occasionally infuriating. The book I have just finished is one such. “The London Train”, by Tessa Hadley.

First, let me be absolutely clear. It is well written.  What follows is my opinion and doesn't go further than that. I didn’t really like it, but that’s a separate point. It has a sound narrative. Two of them actually. Which is my main issue. This is not a novel. It is two novellas glued together.

On the back we have several statements, one from The Times, as follows:

“The two halves of this novel are beautifully woven together”.

This simply is not true. There are two completely separate stories. No connection between them whatsoever. One concerns a very selfish man, completely dislikeable in fact, who sets off to find his not really missing daughter, who is found very easily. She is trying to foist another man’s baby onto a man who happens to be a Polish immigrant. He and his sister seem to be OK to me. In the end she returns home (kind of) to re-foist the baby on a teenage shag who had no idea he was up for it. That, that the MC is a bit of a shit and his (second) wife something of an angel, is it. All middle, no beginning, no end.

The other story concerns a woman, also rather dislikeable and selfish, who has had difficulties with her head following the death of her parents, not particularly tragically and has decided to leave her husband  who is a senior civil servant with some responsibility for immigration detention centres. The stories have in common that they are based near Cardiff, where Ms Hadley (not co-incidentally I am sure) lives, and feature other characters that live in London. Other than the incidental mention of immigration that’s it. There is no weaving together. It isn’t true.

These are stand alone novellas.

There are a couple of train journeys between Cardiff and London, their purpose to the narrative is to transport the characters between the locations. Nothing ever happens on the train and they cover a paragraph here and there. I see nothing to indicate that the title “The London Train” has anything to do with the stories.

The Daily Telegraph gives the view that .“There is something reassuring yet deliciously unexpected about a Tessa Hadley Novel”. I found it as reassuring as a pair of comfortable slippers but nothing unexpected happened. Lacking a clear ending that was inevitable, I suppose. Perhaps they were talking about another book.

I must point out that the blurb states that “- he forgets his own way home” of the MC in the first half. Well, that’s not true either. He ends up at home with his angelic wife letting him back.

So there we have my points. Two novellas have been published as a single novel and two of the review comments are misleading at best. Here on the Word Cloud and otherwise plugging away with Writer’s Workshop we have people struggling and agonising over every single word they write. Yet a lecturer in creative writing can get her novellas published as a novel on the table by the front door at Waterstone’s.

No offense to Ms Hadley, but this pisses me off.

It seems there is nothing new about unpleasant book reviews. I stumbled upon this stinker yesterday. It is from an unsigned review (cowardly…) of Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens, and was printed in the Westminster Review in April 1866.  

Much of the caricature in the second volume is simply like trying to frighten a man by making faces at him; whilst in the chapter on 'The Voice of Society', Mr Dickens becomes as angry as a woman, and as inconsistent as The Times. But more extraordinary than any chapter is the preface, or postscript, or apology, for we don't know what to call it, which closes the work… His object in Our Mutual Friend, he says, is to set forth the wrongs of Betty Higden [one of the characters] and the Poor Law. Now, true art has nothing to do with such ephemeral and local affairs as the Poor Law and Poor Law Boards  … If Mr Dickens knows anything of human nature, he must know that the practical English mind is, as a rule, repelled by any advocacy in the shape of fiction. And to attempt to alter the Poor Law by a novel is about as absurd as it would be to call out the militia to stop the cattle disease…

My paperback for my second book, 'Hunt for White Gold', is released tomorrow so being in a good mood I decided to check out reviews on Amazon. Now I don't check reviews normally as no news is good news and I'm one of those who would rather not know. All OK, so I decided (just for wasting time) to check out some reviews for authors I know personally and others as my clicks just kept leading me from one to another.

Now we all know that there are reviews that give glowing Oscar-like speeches about how wonderful the book is and if you're a savvy Amazon cruiser you normally click 'See all my reviews' and notice that the reviewer has only reviewed that book and go, 'Oh, aye. That's funny. You must be related or a friend,' and discount it. But then I started to think a bit deeper about what this means.

First off, I noticed a pattern, (and I'm not just talking about indie authors I'm talking about traditional books as well; from people I know) often following a rave review there would be a comment or low star review about it along the lines of 'I don't know what book you were reading but,' or 'I wrote this review because I bought this book based on the glowing reviews and,' and generally these people are upset and disappointed.

The other pattern was that a lot of these five-star reviews had clearly not read the book. By that I mean that a genuine review seems to talk about the book in specific terms. They mention characters names, talk about certain plots, talk of parts that moved them or what their experience of it was and even point out why some people might not like it in order to strengthen their recommendation and not mislead. This is almost certain true of a bad review (which often follows) where the reader has blown the book apart. But at least they read it!

You can fill in the blanks yourself but they all follow a similar style:

'Couldn't put it down! Blew me away! Fantastic characterisation!(who? Why?) A real page-turner! Sensational plot! (what's it about other than the blurb above? This is usually where they insert a synopsis of the exact blurb) Kept me on the edge of my seat! (about what?) A roller-coaster ride of thrills and tension! (about what?! Tell me!)'

See what I mean? Now the thing that annoys me about this is that this is often driven by the author either directly or indirectly and supposes that your prospective audience is an idiot.

'If you give me a five-star review people will buy it! Then I'll have their money, ha, ha!'

But what you're actually doing is selling a book that sets itself up to be a disappointment. You're trying to snake-oil people into buying your book. And once you've hoodwinked them once why would they buy your second?

The other disturbing trend I noticed was in clicking on the comments. Often people took the time to write things along the lines of 'I have tried to give this book a bad review but it keeps getting removed.' This may be because of two things. The author reports the review as abuse and asks twenty people to do the same so the review gets removed or, surprise, surprise, Amazon are in the business of selling books and will find any excuse to remove it.

The bottom line is I spent a considerable time checking one author's forty-plus five stars reviews only to discover that two-thirds of them were written by people who had only ever reviewed that item and none of whom showed any sign of actually reading the book other than regurgitating (love that word) the hook of the book.

Personally I do check reviews if I'm intrigued by a book that I wouldn't normally buy and I always use the criteria above to see whether I trust that review or not. To me the reprehensible thing is rather than try to build loyalty with readers through your writing or genuine word of mouth you'd rather bamboozle people into buying your book.

There's an old adage about selling cars that highlights this. 'You don't sell a guy one car. You sell him five cars over fifteen years because he trusts you.'

 

 

 

Readers can be a skittish bunch, bolting for cover at the first distant rumble of the author promo wagon.

I don’t blame them. Nothing spoils a good conversation like a salesman with a megaphone.

What usually happens is this. Readers find a nice site where they can congregate and have good conversations about books. A writer discovers the site and thinks he has struck gold.

Word of this rich seam of “customers” spreads like wildfire, and writers descend on mass hauling wagonloads of blurbs, excerpts, taglines, hyperlinks, ALL CAPS, and, yes, megaphones.

If the website has good moderators, they will nip this in the bud, and corral the writers into a little pen where they can all shout at each other, and not bother the readers.

Sometimes writers bitch and moan about this, but it’s not like they are banned from the rest of the site, they’re just not allowed to bring the megaphone with them. Sounds fair to me.

Besides, have you seen the sites without these rules? Not too many great conversations about books going on because the readers have bolted.

Some sites, like Kindle Boards, have the balance just right. They have a sub-forum for writers to talk shop. And they have a separate section for promo threads. That way readers who want to talk about books aren’t interrupted by salesmen or authors discussing promo strategies, and the writers discussing business aren’t being sold to either.

Writers can venture out to the larger site and engage readers, but promo is strictly banned, and even an oblique reference to your books can be frowned upon. Writers may display their wares in their signature, but that’s it. Again, seems fair to me.

All of the above is a somewhat convoluted introduction to a promo tip. However, the warnings are necessary, as the site in question – LibraryThing – is populated by readers who are (rightly) fiercely protective of their space.

They don’t take kindly to writers who barge in and start promoting. They will be dispensed with quickly, as I have seen first-hand. As I have said before, the golden rule of social networking is: Don’t Be A D*ck.

LibraryThing is full of great conversations about books with groups talking about every little sub-genre, every aspect of books and reading, and lots of other stuff too. It’s a site for readers. Writers are more than welcome, but only if they remember that.

In short, don’t promote your book. In fact, don’t even mention your book unless directly asked about it. You aren’t even allowed a text signature mentioning your books or your blog. You must enter with your “reader” hat on.

As such, it’s a great place to talk about books.

But there are promo opportunities too. They have a section of the site called Member Giveaways - which are an informal way for members to give away copies of books to other members.

Using this, I gave away 300 copies of my book, which has garnered me a ton of reviews.

   To see how, and for a chance to get your hands on an advance copy of my new book, read the rest of today's blog post:

http://davidgaughran.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/promo-tip-librarything-giveaways/

There is an old adage that half the money you spend on advertising is wasted but the problem is you never know which half. I think with social media the percentage which is effective is more like 10%.

I see it like a farmer scattering a mystery bag of seeds in a wide open field. You don’t know which ones will take, and which will get eaten by birds. And you never know when they will blossom.

Like many self-publishers, June has been a tough month for me. Amazon’s Sunshine Deals (where they discounted 600 Big 6 bestsellers to between $0.99 and $2.99) just killed my sales. By the time it kicked in fully a few days into the month, my sales had more than halved.

However, this weekend,  a four-pronged promo assault pulled my sales out of the fire. What happened? How did I achieve this?

Read today's blog post to find out:
http://davidgaughran.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/you-never-know-when-your-promo-seeds-will-blossom/ 

This is the seventh part of my continuing series INDIE PUBLISHING FOR INTERNATIONAL WRITERS, a step-by-step guide to getting your stories into (digital) print. I’ll be doing each step with you, learning as you do, because I’ve never done this before either. I will be compiling all these steps into a free e-book for my blog-readers when I am done.

Step 7: Reviews: How To Get Them, And How To Deal With Them 

Some people are sceptical about the power of reviews and whether they have any significant effect on sales. However, I think this is a very short-term view.

In today's post, I show you why every review is important if you look at the big picture, how to go about getting reviews on Amazon and Smashwords, how to find book bloggers, and how to get them to review your book.

I also discuss paid reviews, dealing with negative reviews, and how to promote your book using positive reviews.

Read the full post here: 
http://davidgaughran.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/indie-publishing-for-international-writers-step-7-reviews-how-to-get-them-and-how-to-deal-with-them/ 

Hi folks,

I just wanted to use a little space to promote my new website, http://www.lpplmovies.blogspot.com/

It has movie reviews and well, I hope you all like it and comment, naturally, I do love trading ideas.

This is for all you movie fans out there, share the love. Also if you have tips of movies which review you´d like to see on the site, let me know.

Cheers!

 In the mists of a cold war that threatened to warp  humanity into a dangerous, authoritarian society, obliterated by nuclear bombardment and weaponry with incomprehensible  consequences,  George Orwell’s dystopian vision has defined the way we see the government, the secret services and ourselves. Set in a world where no one is safe and everyone fears for their lives, their integrity, and the very thoughts that make them human, the novel follows one seemingly unimportant “comrade” as he attends to his everyday duties: destroying incriminating photos, documents of “un-persons”, participating in the two minutes hate and rejoicing at the execution of traitors as they confessed their crimes against the glorious and godlike leader of the party: Big Brother.

 But when Winston Smith begins to wonder about the significance of his own place in this society and the meaning behind his increasingly mundane life, he begins a downward spiral which leads him to embark on an illicit affair, hunt out the sworn enemy of the party: Emmanuel Goldstein, liaise with the outlawed Proles and commit the worst sin of all: that of thought crime. Overwhelmed with fear and feeling increasingly suspicious of all those around him, the only thought Winston had left to ponder in the rare times when he was truly alone, away from the all knowing telescreen’s, was when would he be taken?

As insightful and provocative as I found the novel's general motif's and themes, I often felt the novel relies too heavily on exposition, making the narrative feel clunky and un-even at times. However the prose itself is very fulent and the writing gives every character an odd sense of fear and depression about their person. Alluding perpahs to a reality felt by many  real people, who lived through the regimes of Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin who heavily relied on fear as a way of persuading people to grass up fellow Jews and “traitors” to the country.

Published in the Guthlaxton College newsletter December 2009

Lots of word cloud members know I have had a few ups and downs recently, but I have had a really positive up this afternoon.

My first book was self published at the turn of the year, but I have had to wait until now for the publication of a review by a women's history magazine - rather than just  my local paper. The magazine is Herstoria - and their reviewer liked it!  

I am so pleased I wanted to share this with the cloud - and know that it will be quite reassuring for others considering self publishing as a route to know that you can still get your work reviewed by the appropriate publications. 

So raise your glasses, or mugs of tea, and celebrate with me tonight. 

I put my First Case of Strees on the site for reviewing, and below it are two responces.

I must confess I didn't quite know what to make of this at first. I liked the humour and the original style and, on the whole, I thought it worked well. I did find the accent of Mrs P irritating and I am not sure it was totally convincing 'ants boring into your think hide' being one example. Either that is a spelling mistake or a terrible rendition of an Irish accent. The language improved however as the story progressed. I would just go over the initial parts and perhaps speak the lines aloud.
Your story did have a point to make and it did so with gusto and spirit. I enjoyed the comic humour e.g. 'It'd have to be a toughish morsel, my dear' and the small breakfast of half an acre of forest. The hippo 'Hippy' clearly saves the day and I loved the little speech he makes to cheer Mr P along. All in all a nice treat.
Good luck with it.

i read the synopsis with interest and began reading the story with anticipation of humor. i was surprised to find that you had chosen to set the story in the prehistoric era. that was quite a surprise. but the good thing is that the surprise did not come with disappointment. i read the piece at one go and found it quite good if not very humorous or funny. the ending is fine and holds with the narrative. the characters are also interesting. the pace was racy and the narrative smooth and convincing. all in all i found it an easy to read piece but for the specific terms that you use.
i did wonder about one thing. is this for children? or a magazine? or do you have a series of such small episodes lined up?
best of luck!