The Word Cloud

I put my First Case of Strees on the site for reviewing, and below it are two responces.

I must confess I didn't quite know what to make of this at first. I liked the humour and the original style and, on the whole, I thought it worked well. I did find the accent of Mrs P irritating and I am not sure it was totally convincing 'ants boring into your think hide' being one example. Either that is a spelling mistake or a terrible rendition of an Irish accent. The language improved however as the story progressed. I would just go over the initial parts and perhaps speak the lines aloud.
Your story did have a point to make and it did so with gusto and spirit. I enjoyed the comic humour e.g. 'It'd have to be a toughish morsel, my dear' and the small breakfast of half an acre of forest. The hippo 'Hippy' clearly saves the day and I loved the little speech he makes to cheer Mr P along. All in all a nice treat.
Good luck with it.

i read the synopsis with interest and began reading the story with anticipation of humor. i was surprised to find that you had chosen to set the story in the prehistoric era. that was quite a surprise. but the good thing is that the surprise did not come with disappointment. i read the piece at one go and found it quite good if not very humorous or funny. the ending is fine and holds with the narrative. the characters are also interesting. the pace was racy and the narrative smooth and convincing. all in all i found it an easy to read piece but for the specific terms that you use.
i did wonder about one thing. is this for children? or a magazine? or do you have a series of such small episodes lined up?
best of luck!

The story in Issue 79 of Hub plays with format.

SBIR Proposal by Richard K Lyon takes the well used guise of a letter from one organisation to another. There is quite a lot of back story early on that I think would be unlikely to form part of the content of such a letter. The central idea is entertaining and suits the letter format, but it might have been more effective to have had an exchange of letters. I found myself skipping a couple of paragraphs. It's a neat idea that could have been executed better.