A little inspiration, if you will...
Paradise Falls needs to breathe before my final plunge into it and
releasing it upon an unsuspecting Harry and his crew. So I
have decided to challenge myself, which is unusual because normally
I abuse myself but you don't want to know about that... do
you...?
Anyway... the idea is this;
I am going to write 30 chapters in 30 days at 3,000 words per chapter. Now the cool part about this is that I write well over 3,000 words when I drone on and on and on in my blogs, so when I get the bit between my teeth I can so do this. Granted the 30 chapters are not going to be perfect, I'm not that good, but what they will have is the makings of a quick book.
And this is where, dear loyal if distinctly misguided, followers you come in;
I am going to predict, in my own twisted and sick way, the future.
I am going to write thirty "blogs" on any subject you chose but from my dystopian vision of the future. And I'm going to make you laugh (or cringe). And I am going to do one a day for a month, non-stop. I shall duly return the rough blog to you by PM for your approval and once all thirty are written, I shall undertake the editing, correcting, implementing your suggestions and generally cleaning up necessary before I part with my hard-earned cash to Harry for formal lessons on rewriting it so it works!
So, ideas please for chapters.
To get you started here are some of the subjects I have in mind already; "Space Travel", "Entertainment (Books, TV, Films etc.)", "Football", "Politics", "Health Service" and... "The Sex Industry".
So... do you reckon you can help?
Ez
Anyway... the idea is this;
I am going to write 30 chapters in 30 days at 3,000 words per chapter. Now the cool part about this is that I write well over 3,000 words when I drone on and on and on in my blogs, so when I get the bit between my teeth I can so do this. Granted the 30 chapters are not going to be perfect, I'm not that good, but what they will have is the makings of a quick book.
And this is where, dear loyal if distinctly misguided, followers you come in;
I am going to predict, in my own twisted and sick way, the future.
I am going to write thirty "blogs" on any subject you chose but from my dystopian vision of the future. And I'm going to make you laugh (or cringe). And I am going to do one a day for a month, non-stop. I shall duly return the rough blog to you by PM for your approval and once all thirty are written, I shall undertake the editing, correcting, implementing your suggestions and generally cleaning up necessary before I part with my hard-earned cash to Harry for formal lessons on rewriting it so it works!
So, ideas please for chapters.
To get you started here are some of the subjects I have in mind already; "Space Travel", "Entertainment (Books, TV, Films etc.)", "Football", "Politics", "Health Service" and... "The Sex Industry".
So... do you reckon you can help?
Ez
96 Comments
FAOD - I know of no-one named Edward Rossiter and even if I did I would know nothing of his undergarments.
And while I'm at it; I've just had an idea for "Celebrity Chefs" too! So If I can do both that's two more chapters.
:o)
Witchcraft is a good thought. Hmmmm. I was deliberately going to avoid "religion" but now that you mention "witchcraft"... I may well accept that as an option. Witchcraft in the future... oh yes. Got it! Got a perfect idea! :o) LOL.
That's two more. Eighteen to go!
Suffice to say this string of horrific murders *will* include a wine-drowned wine buff. Brilliant!
Celebrity Chefs will indeed have a chapter in their own right.
In the future, cooking-ness is next to godlessness... ;o)
And I agree - Chef's first which will lead neatly on to their demise!
I'll go get the hose...
I accept "Health & Safety" and will consider "Political Correctness" when writing, although I reserve the option to write a chapter on "Political Correctness" in it's own right if I can think up something suitably funny... deal?
:o)
:o)
"Primitive Urges!" accepted! Although what I have in mind and what you have in mind are likely to be vastly different things...! :o)
For the slow witted amongst us (Woody) I shall list the current chapters below - in order they have been suggested not in order they will appear or be written.
01.) Space Travel (Ez)
02.) Entertainment (Ez)
03.) Football (Ez)
04.) Politics (Ez)
05.) The Health Service (Ez)
06.) The Sex Industry (Ez)
07.) The Curse of Celebrity (Beep)
08.) Murder (Beep)
09.) Celebrity Chefs (Beep)
10.) Organic Food (AlanP)
11.) Bellydancing (MaryLuv)
12.) Witchcraft (MaryLuv)
13.) Health & Safety (Wrathnar)
14.) Primative Urges (Ancient Woodland)
15.)
16.)
17.)
18.)
19.)
20.)
21.)
22.)
23.)
24.)
25.)
26.)
27.)
28.)
29.)
30.)
Hmmm.
I can think up something futuristic about "Military Intelligence" and perhaps "Governmental Efficiency" but for "Authentic Reproduction" all I can think of is some stuff I'll be using in another chapter; I'll have to consider that.
As for "Banker's Conscience"... the future is scarce. And, interestingly so is the past. The future of Banker's Conscience... Hmmm. Leave that one with me. ;o)
Hulloooo!, We've not formally met. :o)
I'm EzBloke, or, as many of the women on here call me; "sleazyBloke" although I have absolutely no idea why... :o)
Your suggestion is inspired and "The Ultimate Achievement in Life: A Memorable Epitaph" makes the list with aplomb. Or a bomb, depending upon how good I can make the chapter!
:o)
Just need subjects that you want to know what they will be like in the future!
So! Seventeen down, thirteen to go! (with three on option should we either stumble to a halt on ideas or I can think up something sufficiently ranty/funny/twisted to write about them.)
Maryluv?
Maybe you should hurry after all!
Here's the list so far;
01.) Space Travel (Ez)
02.) Entertainment (Ez)
03.) Football (Ez)
04.) Politics (Ez)
05.) The Health Service (Ez)
06.) The Sex Industry (Ez)
07.) The Curse of Celebrity (Beep)
08.) Murder (Beep)
09.) Celebrity Chefs (Beep)
10.) Organic Food (AlanP)
11.) Bellydancing (MaryLuv)
12.) Witchcraft (MaryLuv)
13.) Health & Safety (Wrathnar)
14.) Primative Urges (Ancient Woodland)
15.) Military Inteligence (Ancient Woodland)
16.) Governmental Efficiency (Ancient Woodland)
17.) The Ultimate Achievement in Life: A Memorable Epitaph (Eshka)
18.)
19.)
20.)
21.)
22.)
23.)
24.)
25.)
26.)
27.)
28.)
29.)
30.)
Ez
Perhaps one of your chapters should contain some theory on the newest direction of make-up and fashion. Although I've never heard it before, the word 'Cosmosis' came into my head. Apparently it's an order of words in poetry (or a music band). Either way it's my new word of the day.
/ha'pe'th.
And thinking of you and your faithful one I have added "Pets" as a chapter too
Get your chapters in while you still can!
Just nine places left for the EzBloke 30 day challenge!
Hot potatoes of a dystopian tomorrow may be flung in my direction.
Here's the list so far;
01.) Space Travel (Ez)
02.) Entertainment (Ez)
03.) Football (Ez)
04.) Politics (Ez)
05.) The Health Service (Ez)
06.) The Sex Industry (Ez)
07.) The Curse of Celebrity (Beep)
08.) Murder (Beep)
09.) Celebrity Chefs (Beep)
10.) Organic Food (AlanP)
11.) Bellydancing (MaryLuv)
12.) Witchcraft (MaryLuv)
13.) Health & Safety (Wrathnar)
14.) Primative Urges (Ancient Woodland)
15.) Military Inteligence (Ancient Woodland)
16.) Governmental Efficiency (Ancient Woodland)
17.) The Ultimate Achievement in Life: A Memorable Epitaph (Eshka)
18.) Make-Up and Fashion (Jaxx)
19.) Beer and it's environs (Ancient Woodland)
20.) Pets (Ez)
21.) Laundry (AlanP)
22.)
23.)
24.)
25.)
26.)
27.)
28.)
29.)
30.)
If, by some miracle, we get a late splurge (chortle) I shall consider dropping my suggestions first but then, in consultation, drop multiple entries. Or write a second book...? If, by some miracle, we get a late splurge. (Chortle)
Which gives us the future of punishment, journalism and punctuation in one blow. Not terribly exciting, but if you need them to fill a hole... (Snicker.)
I would hang my head in shame Jaxx were it not for the fact I am, to all intents and purposes, predominantly and unashamedly... ignorant... :o)
Po-tay-toes.
"Hot potatoes may be flinged in my direction." Better? :o)
01.) Space Travel (Ez)
02.) Entertainment (Ez)
03.) Football (Ez)
04.) Politics (Ez)
05.) The Health Service (Ez)
06.) The Sex Industry (Ez)
07.) The Curse of Celebrity (Beep)
08.) Murder (Beep)
09.) Celebrity Chefs (Beep)
10.) Organic Food (AlanP)
11.) Bellydancing (MaryLuv)
12.) Witchcraft (MaryLuv)
13.) Health & Safety (Wrathnar)
14.) Primative Urges (Ancient Woodland)
15.) Military Inteligence (Ancient Woodland)
16.) Governmental Efficiency (Ancient Woodland)
17.) The Ultimate Achievement in Life: A Memorable Epitaph (Eshka)
18.) Make-Up and Fashion (Jaxx)
19.) Beer and it's environs (Ancient Woodland)
20.) Pets (Ez)
21.) Laundry (AlanP)
22.) Punishment (Jaxx)
23.) Beauty (Beep)
24.)
25.)
26.)
27.)
28.)
29.)
30.)
So what's happening up there, do we all have neural laces implanted in our brains, overlays straight into our visual cortex, access to the sum of mankind's knowledge with a flicker of the eyelids? Or did it hit critical mass and spontaneously develop Machine Intelligence, frying us all with the power of its mind in its desperation to get away from Susan Boyle?
Punk Chewation - A good name for a brand of gum.
Computing & The Internet! Now, I like that one Woody! I shall add that to the list.
* Strange/rude names on maps (e.g. Brown Willy).
* Odd stories behind the origin of place names
* Rodents in the 21st century
* Tell your own ghost/haunting incident story
* Books you really wanted to like, but hated.
* Places you visited expecting to hate, but you liked them.
* Bands you really dislike except for the fact they've got one song you find really catchy
"War" is another, although I shall, if you are not too disappointed, include that with Woody's "Military Intelligence".
"World domination" will come through in "Politics" methinks...
And...
"Flower Arranging"... flower arranging... flower... arranging... can I put that on the "possibilities" list?
:o)
Yes, chewing gum, yes... that's what I thought... yes. I didn't think of it as a euphemism at all. In any way. No. *cough*. Anywaaaay....
Nice! "Video Gaming!" On the same wavelength as me! I have that as "Entertainment" at the moment as a half formed idea already! :o)
Oooooo, "A recruitment Agency"... now that does have *sooooo* many possibilities. On the list!
"Equal Opportunities"... hmmm... ok... Equal opportunities in the future. Let me think about that one and get back to you. If I can make up something suitably funny or twisted then it's in!
And on the subject of babies and the future... Jeremy Clarkson (and a number of others will be mentioned too)
Thank you! A good list... I think...
But.. could you refine your list (adding the words "of the future" to the end of each one and get back to me...?
Cheers!
:o)
Don't stop with the suggestions - some of my ideas are weak and I am already padding out other chapters with the other "possibilities" (see end of the list!)
01.) Space Travel (Ez)
02.) Entertainment (Ez)
03.) Football (Ez)
04.) Politics (Ez)
05.) The Health Service (Ez)
06.) The Sex Industry (Ez)
07.) The Curse of Celebrity (Beep)
08.) Murder (Beep)
09.) Celebrity Chefs (Beep)
10.) Organic Food (AlanP)
11.) Bellydancing (MaryLuv)
12.) Witchcraft (MaryLuv)
13.) Health & Safety (Wrathnar)
14.) Primative Urges (Ancient Woodland)
15.) Military Inteligence (Ancient Woodland)
16.) Governmental Efficiency (Ancient Woodland)
17.) The Ultimate Achievement in Life: A Memorable Epitaph (Eshka)
18.) Make-Up and Fashion (Jaxx)
19.) Beer and it's environs (Ancient Woodland)
20.) Pets (Ez)
21.) Laundry (AlanP)
22.) Punishment (Jaxx)
23.) Beauty (Beep)
24.) Computing and The Internet (Ancient Woodland)
25.) Phobias (Mistress Elysia)
26.) Law and Order (Tony)
27.) Recruitment Agency (Weens)
28.) Antiques (Tony)
29.) Babies et al (Rebecca Holmes)
30.)
With the following suggestions on the "possibilities" list...;
01.) "Authentic reproduction" (Ancient Woodland) - might be able to do something with Tony's "Antiques" on that one
02.) "Banker's Conscience" (Ancient Woodland) - this has me stumped and no mistake...!
03.) "Political Correctness" (Wrathnar) - May be a part of my own "Politics"
04.) "The Word Cloud" (AlanP) - It's a good idea but... what to do, what to do...?!
05.) "Journalism" (Jaxx) - There is a possibility this may fold into my "Entertainment" chapter
06.) "Punctuation" (Jaxx) - Had a couple of thoughts (mini-rants) so there'll be something... somewhere... lol.
07.) "Shoes and Handbags" (Mistress Elysia) - Definately a part of Jaxx's "Make-up and Fashion" chapter.
08.) "Spiders" (Mistress Elysia) - I have something in mind for "Pets" in general!
09.) "War" (Tony) - is going to be a part of Woody's "Military Intelligence"
10.) "World Domination" (Tony) - Part of my "Politics"
11.) "Flower Arranging" (Tony) - LOL... I can't seem to get Beep's "Murder" chapter out of my head on this one!
12.) "Neighbourhood Watch" (AlanP) - I'll include that in Tony's "Law and Order" chapter
Will there still be weed in the future?
Mind you, Auldus Huxley had that one all wrapped up.
I just have to point out before I leave work that 'the future of laundry' has had me in random fits of giggles all afternoon. Thank you AlanP!
In the 'future' (am convinced there's no such thing - see my blog about so-called 'time' - oh, you can't I've deleted it) will anything at all still be taboo?
SMW: there's a place near Brighton called 'Loose Bottom', fnarr fnarr.
Or just bung traditions, diverse culture, religion and beliefs all in the one epic blog #30. Although I see the benefit to leaving one blog place open to allow for either last minute dazzles of inspiration, or wind the whole thing up with what it was like to write 30 blogs in 30 days.
Good luck, Ez.
Steve
I have the 30th chapter! The Weather! Brilliant, fella. Nice catch.
:o)
Steve! What are you doing?! Now I have loads more than 30! Aaaagh!
Actually, having thought about this, these extra options are a good thing; they will allow me to scan a list and write the one that pops into my head at the time; hopefully running out of days before I run out of ideas.
So keep 'em coming; what would everyone like me to twist about our future? How bad could it be...? :o) Purely for comedy and practice you understand!
Two things;
One;
I shall begin the challenge on July 12th.
...Or possibly July 19th due to England's triumph at the Word Cup and subsequent "capacity trials" of my liver.
Two;
Does anyone fancy having a go too?
30 chapters? More like long blogs, really; no storyline per se, no plot, no need to flesh out characters or locations. More like a rant/diary...?
I'm looking at it from the comedy/sci-fi angle - ie 30 chapters on the future.
But you could, if you wanted, do 30 chapters in your own chosen genre.
Could anyone transpose this from being "in the future" to, say, "Hell"?
Or Pandora? (The planet of skinny Smurfs, not the legend with a dodgy box... (chortle))
Or the Wombles Wimbledon?
Anybody?
No?
Hello?
Hello?
Is this thing working...?
1 - Ellen MacArthur is one incredible lady
2 - I do not have the mettle to emulate her achievements
Ez, I do not think I shall ever conclude that you are an incredible lady, but I will consider taking up your "join in" challenge when I see the state you are in at the end of it.
Ez - Day job + complete and utter lack of focus = no, but I might be able to do one weekends' worth some time.
Tempest Fugit as they say.
Whoever they are.
This little challenge has been sufficiently stewing in that tiny vacuuous space I like to call my "mind" and I have brewed a suitably informative opening chapter plan.
The rest... I will be winging it... eeeek.
Now, there is one slight... major... flaw in my plan;
Start on Monday 12th. Ok.
Write for 30 days.
Ah.
See... it turns out I forgot that I will be merry and/or exceptionally p1shed Friday 16th, Saturday 17th and Sunday 18th... so either I get a "bye" on those days or I delay this exercise until Monday the 19th.
(Or, I go "luddite" and "write" (with ink on floppy, white stuff (stop making your own jokes up, people, you are truly disgusting)) and just not post them until my return from the lovely Wattisham (Laptops are definately not allowed (neat alcohol and copious ammounts of dorito's, however, are)))
What do you reckon?
I'm not stalling or welching, I promise; I genuinely set the date for after the glorious English victory *cough* (sigh) and forgot all about the mini Australian invasion and hot-tub party to which we were cordially invited.
What's the chances of you guys being understanding?
For me, the plan was 30 days, 30 chapters so I'm inclined to delay until the 19th, but I do appreciate that you guys have a vested interest so I thought you should know.
Also - keep the chapter ideas coming; I have devised the mechanism by which this will work; day/chapter one will outline enough information to get the whole thing set in the mind of someone who is ignorant of this thread and the remaining 29 days/chapters will be chosen at random by me scanning the list of ideas until something comes to mind and I start typing.
:o)
It's all very exciting!
Ez
:o)
You do it your way, Ezzy. And we'll follow as slavishly as ever. I'm even in investing in a Spanish dongle just to keep up to date with your little blogs at a not insignificant cost of €19 plus €1 per day to connect with you. So sober and coherent, or totally trashed and inconherent, I'll be there.
Click here to sign up now.