Today...

Published by: katie on 16th Jul 2017 | View all blogs by katie

Last night I fell asleep before I'd taken my medication, this  isn't the first time I've done that. I sleep pretty much almost a whole day, since it all started. Today I got up early, I went downstairs and played a computer game. I then went out into my front garden twice to take photos of a cream rose I brought my mum for her birthday. I stayed outside for ages. Instead of fear dictating when I went back inside I decided when I did. I watched Roger Federer win Wimbledon, (I've seen him there in person and have his autograph) but I focused on the match. Normally,I can't focus on anything but the fear and I live my life around it. Today I felt as though I had some control. I'm still the same,but a little better. You aren't supposed to stop antidepressants suddenly,but I a little better mood wise.

I'm going to the doctors soon and I'm a bit unsure about what to do,but I won't worry about it now.

Comments

15 Comments

  • Newbie
    by Newbie 7 days ago
    Welll done, Katie.
  • OFP
    by OFP 6 days ago
    Delighted. Know that in any progress, there will be good days followed bad days. But you challenged yourself to make today different. And it was... One step forward...

    Did I mention that I am delighted?
  • katie
    by katie 6 days ago
    Thank you me too. I know. I saw Roger in 2008. The way I worded it made it sound like I saw him in person at the final today! Sadly not,but I'm so proud of him.
  • Mashie Niblick
    by Mashie Niblick 6 days ago
    Delighted. Delightful, Katie. That Federer is such a nice man.
  • Yo
    by Yo 6 days ago
    Pah! Nobody can be that nice. He's probably a secret axe murderer with 20 kids buried under his extensive patio. He doesn't fool me.
  • KallieRosa
    by KallieRosa 6 days ago
    Well done for staying out and not letting the fear dictate what you do! Keep doing it and facing the fear and try and get to the point when you can relax once out and get over the initial panic. It will be hard to do it every single time, I'm the same when taking the dog out! But sometimes you go out there and realise it's not that bad and you can somewhat be in control. Xx
  • Giselle
    by Giselle 6 days ago
    Bravo for the control and holding back the fear. One day at a time...
  • Hil
    by Hil 6 days ago
    Well done, Katie!
  • Jill
    by Jill 6 days ago
    Fine progress indeed, katie and particularly good to read after you were so down (understandably) in your previous blog. Very well done. I hope you are proud of yourself, because we all are. So pleased for you and hope these steps continue. As Giselle says above 'One day at a time...'
  • Mashie Niblick
    by Mashie Niblick 6 days ago
    @Yo - um, you might be right, but he's still a very nice man.
  • BellaM
    by BellaM 6 days ago
    You go girl! Well done. :-)
  • katie
    by katie 6 days ago
    Actually,Roger has said that he's flaws and that he hasn't always been nice. He had HUGE temper issues. It's why he won his first grand slam quite late. He also recently hasn't been that gracious,but he has acknowledged that. 2008 was the last time I was normal. Thank you everyone. Not doing as well today. Had a huge panic,but my mood is still better. I have the doctors tomorrow,so I'm terrified. I haven't been out in awhile. The last time I did I tried to go to the dentist and I couldn't get out of the car. I did,however meet three whippet dogs. I have a fifthteen and a half year old Dalmatian called Dylan and the Whippet I was most fond of was called Dylan!
  • OFP
    by OFP 5 days ago
    Yesterday's setback does not diminish your achievement from the day before.
  • Newbie
    by Newbie 5 days ago
    Take each day as it comes, Katie. The Dr's appointment is probably pressing in on you at the moment. Once you've been to see him/her that will be that and you can start again. Your mood is improving and that is wonderful news.
  • Tony
    by Tony 5 days ago
    Remember the good things, Katie. They are proof that you CAN overcome your difficulties. And don't worry when circumstances don't allow you to. You still know there will be times when you can and I pray that those times will be becoming more frequent, while the bad ones diminish.
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