I have many first lines (I ain't picked the one I want to use
yet!), and my last line is subject to change, but here they are as
they stand:
First line(s - not sure where I am going to start my first chapter
quite yet!): "The trees, their leaves just beginning to turn to
magnificent yellows, oranges and reds, indicated that it was early
autumn."
OR
"Are feet, Alicia wondered, covered by the Geneva Convention of
Human Rights?" (I think this will be the line I go with, but it
does mean that a very important part of chapter one - of which the
other first line is the start of - will have to be re-jigged. It
never ends...)
Last line (at the moment, at least): “I almost forgot. Welcome
home."
Your first first line is quite beautiful, Elysia. And the second,
very intriguing.
I don't think either of mine are very good.
First line - Looking back on it now, sitting on a hill that
everyone feared, in the fading light and the howling wind, probably
wasn't a good idea. But what did I know?
Debating on whether or not to leave 'but what did I know' in.
This is fun. I really liked Eli's second one. The trouble with the
'beautiful' first one is that we have been shown it's autumn before
we are told - a bit of redundancy?
I remember reading your opening, Snowflake. I know what you mean
about the 'but what didI know' - it doesn't quite fit the voice.
But I think there should something to replace it; don't just delete
it.
Wrath: Interest-grabbing. A lot of 'the's, though. Could you afford
to drop the 'the' before morning mist, d'you think? Love the
ending.
My opener is:
Imminent acute embarrassment was not at the forefront of
seventeen-year-old Nick McQuaid’s mind, much less the idea of
becoming embroiled in a violent, sectarian riot. He was enjoying
the fun of the occasion and glad Colin had persuaded him to accept
Ian’s invitation.
And the ending?
As he spoke his words of reassurance, Nick had no inkling of just
what the whole new world that beckoned would, in fact, call on them
to face in adulthood, both together and individually. Mercifully
unaware, the two friends broke into a trot and ran to the cars like
a pair of children in a three-legged race – the children they had
once been, but could be no longer – as the rain started to fall in
earnest.
First:The fire rages, light from the flames turns the night sky
orange.
Last: He kisses me and I know that I will never be parted from him
for the whole of our long lifetime in this world and in the
next.
Can you tell it's a YA romantic fantasy??? Dear me!
First - The tide was out.
Last - Eventually they decided that whatever the future did turn
out to have in store for them, it ought, at least, to contain a
very ample breakfast.
1st; McQueen together with the section of Argyll and Sutherland
Highlanders gathered inside the gate of Andersonstown
Barracks.
Last: Derek moved to a rare breeds centre in Norfolk and changed
his name to Nigel.
I'm new and this looks like fun! I don't have my last line (sorry
if that's not playing the game) but my first is:
'When Elowen Wilder was ten years old she was woken in the night by
her mother whispering in her ear.'
Wow, that quite long, clumsy and creepy when you put it like that.
Might have to work on that a bit more... ha! Think the Cloud is
going to be very useful :)
The one I am currently working on has the first line 'The house had
something American Gothic about it, though nothing it was minded to
share.'
and at the moment the last line; '‘Hi.’ I said as our lips parted.
‘Nice to meet you Bertram. I’m Rita.’
Which I don't think I'm set on as a last line yet, but we'll see.
First: It was a perfect day.
Last: Then, hand in hand and with eyes sparkling with delight, the
two of them ran towards their destiny, leaving behind the sombre
black stone which was all that remained of the Black Star.
First: The day the scribe was murdered was the same day Alyn first
saw her patron, although she had been in his service for nearly six
months.
Last: “We can always send them flowers,” he said, and smiled.
This is great! Some great lines too. Here are mine though they may
change.
First: Soft sand heated her from under her dress. She smiled
contently as a flock of seagulls flew high above her, their cries
carried by the waves which rose and fell with a quiet splash then
rippled along the shore.
Last: “We’ll Meet Again,” he whispered. Then stood and took one
last glance at her, one that would burn into his memory and stay
there forever.
Hi Natalie, I like these, particulaly the last line. With the
first, although you know exactly what you're describing and I
figured it out, the 'sand heated her from under her dress' phrase
caused me to stumble. 'Under her dress' normally means between her
dress and her skin. Here, she is presumable lying on a beach, so
the sand is 'under her dress' but it might be better to find a
different way of sayig it to avoid any initial confusion. Just a
thought.
First line: Thunder cracked and I jolted awake, my body trembling
and my breath coming in quick gasps.
Last line: I too grow old in age and can no longer watch this story
unfold, so I have written it for others to keep the story alive;
this story of a small light in the darkness.
This last line is actually part of the postlude. The story reveals
at the end that it was a narrative, this is the ending line of the
actual story.
Last line: His eyes snapped open and he felt his side quickly,
“What happened?” I couldn’t help but smile, “Have I got a story to
tell you.” Guide him I will. Guide him I will…
Haven't edited the last line yet, that was basically NaNoWriMo
writing there =)
First line: When I was fifteen a new teacher asked us to write an
essay about what we thought we'd be when we were 35.
Last line. The next six months were going to be a lot of fun.
Mythwriter: "I too grow old in age" - a bit tautologous, do you
think? How else are you going to grow old, except in age? Also, I
think you've got an unwanted rhyme in "I grow old... watch this
story unfold".
Here's my own first line: "Dora's Dad came to pick her up from
boarding school for the Christmas holidays."
And the last: "There was silence: but in the silence, she felt as
if she could hear a voice saying, 'Of course I'm here. I've been
here all the time.'"
Loved the lines but now I need to know what happens inbetween
:-)
My first line - Lee's head smashed sideways into the car
window.
And the last - “You don’t have to say anything,” he said quietly.
There was no need. He already knew what was in her mind.
'Raisa stared wearily at the darkened sky as heavy clouds mooched
like sullen adolescents...'
'...sunlight pierced the gap in the curtain, a line of gold across
his oblivious sleeping form.'
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30 Comments
First line(s - not sure where I am going to start my first chapter quite yet!): "The trees, their leaves just beginning to turn to magnificent yellows, oranges and reds, indicated that it was early autumn."
OR
"Are feet, Alicia wondered, covered by the Geneva Convention of Human Rights?" (I think this will be the line I go with, but it does mean that a very important part of chapter one - of which the other first line is the start of - will have to be re-jigged. It never ends...)
Last line (at the moment, at least): “I almost forgot. Welcome home."
What about you?!
I don't think either of mine are very good.
First line - Looking back on it now, sitting on a hill that everyone feared, in the fading light and the howling wind, probably wasn't a good idea. But what did I know?
Debating on whether or not to leave 'but what did I know' in.
Last line - I would fight for him, forever.
Not particularly spectacular!
Last line (as I envisage it at the moment): Wave leaned back in his arms and cuffed him on the shoulder. "You crazy squirrel!"
I remember reading your opening, Snowflake. I know what you mean about the 'but what didI know' - it doesn't quite fit the voice. But I think there should something to replace it; don't just delete it.
Wrath: Interest-grabbing. A lot of 'the's, though. Could you afford to drop the 'the' before morning mist, d'you think? Love the ending.
My opener is:
Imminent acute embarrassment was not at the forefront of seventeen-year-old Nick McQuaid’s mind, much less the idea of becoming embroiled in a violent, sectarian riot. He was enjoying the fun of the occasion and glad Colin had persuaded him to accept Ian’s invitation.
And the ending?
As he spoke his words of reassurance, Nick had no inkling of just what the whole new world that beckoned would, in fact, call on them to face in adulthood, both together and individually. Mercifully unaware, the two friends broke into a trot and ran to the cars like a pair of children in a three-legged race – the children they had once been, but could be no longer – as the rain started to fall in earnest.
Last: He kisses me and I know that I will never be parted from him for the whole of our long lifetime in this world and in the next.
Can you tell it's a YA romantic fantasy??? Dear me!
Last - Eventually they decided that whatever the future did turn out to have in store for them, it ought, at least, to contain a very ample breakfast.
Last: Derek moved to a rare breeds centre in Norfolk and changed his name to Nigel.
Last - She's still my best friend, Fate, and Bobby is still mine.
'When Elowen Wilder was ten years old she was woken in the night by her mother whispering in her ear.'
Wow, that quite long, clumsy and creepy when you put it like that. Might have to work on that a bit more... ha! Think the Cloud is going to be very useful :)
and at the moment the last line; '‘Hi.’ I said as our lips parted. ‘Nice to meet you Bertram. I’m Rita.’
Which I don't think I'm set on as a last line yet, but we'll see.
Last- the man walked inside and closed the door behind him.
I don't seem to get very far writing novels, but did start one, "I stared at the slug statues carved by the sun." I didn't finish it though!
Loving these, makes me very intrested in what happens in your stories!
My First line;
As I sit here now I can feel the beating of my heart.
And my Last;
Standing here looking at our home being ravaged by ferocious flames, my family torn and ripped apart
Last: Then, hand in hand and with eyes sparkling with delight, the two of them ran towards their destiny, leaving behind the sombre black stone which was all that remained of the Black Star.
First: The day the scribe was murdered was the same day Alyn first saw her patron, although she had been in his service for nearly six months.
Last: “We can always send them flowers,” he said, and smiled.
First: Soft sand heated her from under her dress. She smiled contently as a flock of seagulls flew high above her, their cries carried by the waves which rose and fell with a quiet splash then rippled along the shore.
Last: “We’ll Meet Again,” he whispered. Then stood and took one last glance at her, one that would burn into his memory and stay there forever.
I have a few so they may well change! Hi to all x
First line: Thunder cracked and I jolted awake, my body trembling and my breath coming in quick gasps.
Last line: I too grow old in age and can no longer watch this story unfold, so I have written it for others to keep the story alive; this story of a small light in the darkness.
This last line is actually part of the postlude. The story reveals at the end that it was a narrative, this is the ending line of the actual story.
Last line: His eyes snapped open and he felt his side quickly, “What happened?” I couldn’t help but smile, “Have I got a story to tell you.” Guide him I will. Guide him I will…
Haven't edited the last line yet, that was basically NaNoWriMo writing there =)
Last line. The next six months were going to be a lot of fun.
Mythwriter: "I too grow old in age" - a bit tautologous, do you think? How else are you going to grow old, except in age? Also, I think you've got an unwanted rhyme in "I grow old... watch this story unfold".
Here's my own first line: "Dora's Dad came to pick her up from boarding school for the Christmas holidays."
And the last: "There was silence: but in the silence, she felt as if she could hear a voice saying, 'Of course I'm here. I've been here all the time.'"
Last line: And I thought you didn't fuck on first dates.
2nd "Freak, it's The Banana."
My first line - Lee's head smashed sideways into the car window.
And the last - “You don’t have to say anything,” he said quietly. There was no need. He already knew what was in her mind.
'...sunlight pierced the gap in the curtain, a line of gold across his oblivious sleeping form.'
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