Gutted (aka "a jolly near miss")
Well, it was 'no' from the agent. And this time it's a real, definite, don't-send-the-MS-to-me-again kind of 'no'.
For a bit of background, the agent originally read the MS (in a very different guise) way back in 2007. She liked it but pointed me towards a major rewrite which I did whilst figuring out the life-changing-hit-by-a-bus experience of having our first son.
Fast-forward through dirty nappies, sleepless nights and lots and lots of rewriting to early 2009 and this time she really liked the MS but again pointed me towards a rewrite which started out quite minor and became rather major, including the execution of a protaganist and a two-year wrangle with Chapter 1.
Fast-forward again through a family crisis, writer's block, four months of morning sickness (yup, son number 2 coincided with rewrite number 2 - not trying to create a pattern here, honest!), York Festival 2010 (yay!), more dirty nappies, more sleepless nights, a lovely, long, creative maternity leave, a bit of Emma and Debi and some invaluable collaborative editing with fellow Cloudie, John and I really thought that this time, I'd got it right.
And it does appear that I've not got it wrong just not right enough. The main problem for the agent is that she doesn't get the link between my past and present plots - I'm too gutted tonight to know whether or not I agree with her. I've invested 5 years of rewrites in the hope of persuading her to represent me and it feels like I have nothing to show for it.
Though I know that's not really true. The MS I have now is vastly superior to the one she read in 2007 and I have learned a huge amount about writing along the way. And while I lick my wounds, she did finish off with a very positive comment:
"You do have a lovely style though - loads and loads of potential so I'd love you to keep in touch. Any other ideas brewing?"
I do, as it happens, but with two small children in the household, it may be a while yet before the ideas become anything close to an MS.
So, don't mind me if I wibble nonsensically in the corner for most of the weekend. I'm not giving up. It'll be back to business on Monday.
62 Comments
Still, at least you know the talent is there...
Cry your tears. They're justified. It really hurts and how could it not? And then send it out to more agents next week. This is what is is to be an author. Someone once told me that in the US, you are allowed to call yourself an author if you've received 3 rejections. So this is just one step closer. But you'll never get there if you allow this to batter you into submission. Please don't let that happen! Apart from anything else, I know that you have derived an enormous amount of pleasure from the crafting of your book. I bet you wouldn't have changed that if you had the chance to go back and not write it. xx
Still, an invaluable learning experinece.
Sorry mate.
It's great that you feel you've got a genuinely better book out of it - and an agent who'll pounce on the next thing you write. They don't say "keep in touch" unless they mean it.
But as Debi says, IT'S ONLY ONE AGENT. Parallel narratives and their ilk are very odd things - reactions vary hugely to them -some adore them, some just never get them, some only get them if the links are big and thick enough to moor the Titanic... which is a classic case of it being worth persevering, because you just never know who'll get it. When you've got your balance again (or run out of chocolate) if it were me I'd whack it out to lots and lots of people.
But meanwhile, be kind to yourself. You've written a great book, and learnt vast amounts along the way to make future books even better. That's a huge achievement in itself. (if it's any comfort, it was the next batch of subs after my worst-rejection-ever which landed my my present agent. So-near-and-yet-so-far... does also include the word "near"...)
Oh yeah, and I agree with all the others: do what you gotta do to get over this and then submit it again (preferably to the next five or ten agents on your list).
I know your feelings, Girl, I really do. No matter how 'equal with men' women stoop to be in the shifting world of commerce and politics there is no denying that we are Chief Executives in the miraculous renewel of Life and no calling on earth is more critical than that. Babies are delivered helpless into the arms of their mothers and any woman ignoring so strong a call of Nature would be sad indeed. So ...
'Wibble' nonsensically all you like in your corner, Sweetheart and I will listen empathetically. You are caught in the eternal woman-dilemma. It's good to get frustrations off your chest but to me, you will never be more vital than you are today.
Bear in mind that the agency you have been offering your work to may consist of more than one partner ... more than one reader. Agents have a purpose in life and that is to make a living from selling the property of others for a commission (in your case, a creative work of imagination) and although they have a useful service to offer because they know their way around the market, the property remains yours.
An agent in any other business is paid a percentage to sell for the client; not the other way around. Why is it only in the creative arts that agents have become so damn dictatorial?
Take consolation in the great progress you have made.
I agree with most of the comments here but in particular with those of Emma and Debi. Keep sending out your manuscript to other agents, but with that agent's words ringing in your ears - 'You do have a lovely style, though - loads and loads of potential'. THAT is what you hang on to (actually, I think you should copy out those words and stick them on your computer so you can always see them), and the fact that she would like to see whatever you write next. It may not seem like much consolation at the moment but it is huge. Plus the fact that she has spent so long nurturing your novel and encouraging you. Agents don't do that for everyone - they don't have time and only a few of the unsolicited authors who approach them may be worth the effort, for whatever reason. As Emma says, novels with parallel plots are very tricky to sell to publishers. (I speak from experience, like Emma, because I have tried it with agents. And failed.)
Another area where you have proved that you have what it takes to be a writer is in your obvious cooperation with the agent when she suggested making revisions to your manuscript. For both agents and publishers, it is essential to work with authors who are happy to carry out revisions when necessary. Authors who accept that sometimes they need a nudge in the right direction, or that although their plot idea is good, someone else's is better, or that the pace of the book needs to change, or a million other changes. Books are to some degree always collaborative efforts, something that I don't think is appreciated enough by the wider public. The words are (usually but not always!) the author's, but the editor(s) will also have contributed in many ways, from straightforward editing to making suggestions for improvements. And that's not counting what the sales team will think. And, increasingly, agents have a huge input into the book before it ever reaches a publisher's desk, for a number of reasons including the very tough market at the moment.
I realise that this sort of experience sends a shudder down the spine of anyone who is currently working on their manuscript and dreaming of sending it to an agent. Yes, it is alarming. And yes, it happens quite often. And yes, it is bloody awful. But the fact is - unpalatable though this might be - that publishing is a business and this is how it works. Most agents are doing their best, and many are finding it hard going at the moment. They are in touch with editors all the time, so they know what editors are looking for and what is doing well for them. They read the trade press, so they know what's selling and what's about to be published. They talk to fellow agents, so they know what life is like for them too. They look at sales figures, and they know that the sales of even some big-name novelists have halved in the past year. Halved!!! This makes it even tougher to sell books to publishers who are scratching their heads and wondering why the hell the sales of Mrs and Mr Bestseller have dipped so sharply in such a short period. Also, agents don't want to send out a manuscript by a new writer if they don't feel it's quite right, because the publisher may read it, think it's not much cop and then they might not want to see the next manuscript by that writer because they suspect it won't be much good either.
This doesn't mean that another agent won't think differently, which is why it is a good idea to keep submitting the novel to other agents. But, Skylark, if I were you I wouldn't write off this agent completely. If you don't have any joy after trying other agents, you might want to consider pitching your next idea on the original agent, just to see what she thinks. She might jump up and down, yelling 'Write it! And write it now!'
As you know, I've been in the publishing business since Noah was in short trousers, and in my experience talent always gets there in the end. And you clearly have talent. Lots of it.
Tony - yes, I can see all the positives and it's good to know that I have so many in my life. Thank you, as always, for your encouragement :-)
John - I think it's about time you started a publishing house, then I *know* I would get published ;-) Thanks for believing in me :-)
Emma/Spangles - great advice as always and thank you both for your perspective. I've got a clearer head this morning and I can see exactly what an opportunity it is to have the door still wedged open a little. While book number 2 brews, I will continue to submit book number 1.
Charlie/Ama/Jill/Deli/Alanboy - thanks all for your sympathy - much appreciated!
I just want to reiterate again that this wasn't a moan about the agent and I don't think that she has treated me badly. She gave me an opportunity five years ago to rewrite the MS into something that she was happy to promote. When I didn't get it quite right the first time, she gave me invaluable advice for the next rewrite and even though I've still not quite got it right for her this time, and although she's decided not to pursue this particular MS any further, I've got a much better MS to show for it all and an opportunity to approach her again in the future. I knew that my rewrites would not guarantee me representation so I do not feel that any promises have been broken. The disappointment that this rewrite didn't make her jump up and down with excitement is immense, as I really did want to work with her, but, as many of you have been quick to point out, it's not the end of the road by a long shot!
Thanks all for your kind words and sympathy - watch this space....;-)
However, another thought has occured to me: if the agent has been reading this book in all its incarnations for years, then it's possible that she can't come at it freshly any more - as a new reader might. We, as writers, suffer the same thing, when we know the history of every comma - it's difficult to shake old impressions sometimes, and they bleed through into the current version. Therefore, if she's jaded with it (as we all are at times), that might not have any relevance to the quality of the ms. So I'd reiterate - you have a ms that's a vast improvement, and I know you're grateful for that. So capitalise on it. Send it out again. Send out a dozen copies. Let someone who knows nothing of its history see it. Fresh blood. New energy.
Like when your house has been on the market for ages without selling; you change estate agents, and bingo! Snapped up immediately.
Although you're perfectly entitled to wibble for a while, slam doors, kick people, drink absinthe. Then when the hangover's passed, you've apologised to everyone and the new day dawns, get printing and posting. And glory in each rejection if it comes because each will take you one step closer to your goal. You only need one bite. Good luck, girl. Know you can do it.
Go Skylark!
If anyone reading this is wondering what this business of an agent loving a book, suggesting lots of stuff, and so on is all about, then Harry's WAAYB Guide to getting Published is very good on what's really going on. It's not agents being dictatorial in the sense that it might appear; an agent can only take on a book she/he thinks she can sell, and has a perfect right not to take on a book which they love, but think they can't sell, for whatever reason. It's maddening - heartbreaking - desperately frustrating, but it's business. Every agent has a story of books they absolutely adored, and couldn't sell.
Another bit of harsh advice I was given is that sometimes, even if you love a story sometimes it is only useful for practice and that's it. :/
I will say that I'm not impressed with the agent but, saying that, I'm sure she wouldn't have encouraged you unless she saw real potential in your writing. You're right to be looking at the positives which have come out of this. It's obviously not been all for nothing! I've read through the advice above, and agree that this is just one agent, who far from rejected your writing. Keep going, but give yourself the weekend to put things into perspective and eat lots of chocolate.
I often say we should wish for the best outcome rather than the best conclusion. Yes, the best conclusion would have been your book being snapped up by this agent in 2007 - but in reality, the best outcome is the experience of learning and getting the best out of yourself, thus ending up with a superior novel which I am sure will get snapped up at some point!
Good for you for not giving up! I know it will happen - it's just a case of when! x
So send it out again. Now!
As I've been screaming at Arsenal (until yesterday): you miss 100% of the shots you don't take'. So shoot!
The journey to publication doesn't always get there in a single hop, but as someone who pitches a lot of work to agents, the single thing I most want is a voice that I'm confident in. I had that confidence with John's book recently. I have that confidence with SL's. I don't know whether this book, or this version of this book, will be The One, but publication is calling you, I can hear it.
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