Time
... is an interesting concept.
I've had quite a lot of it lately. My dull backstory: I've been job hunting since August and in between have gradually been going a bit loopy.
I've been hanging out with my friends & family, working part time at my lovely Saturday job and applying for jobs.
I applied for about four different volunteering placements (two of which more than once) and heard nothing back.
I've lost my creative buzz and love of reading and writing and have some days where I feel incredibly down.
I sometimes feel as if I have so much potential, so much energy and passion to pour into something and yet no opportunities. I feel held back from things I really want to achieve while I still can.
It may sound silly to some, but since losing both my cats it feels like my life has gone the wrong way. It feels as if I am in a parallel reality and the correct one is where my cat is still alive and I am happy.
I really want to stick at looking for a volunteering placement though and have become more interested in counselling and depression and general mental health.
When I get a job I want to take a few courses in Avian care and management, paleontology and creative writing or novel editing.
Until then I am just trying to keep the faith and focus on the things I do have.
Hope you are all well x
I've had quite a lot of it lately. My dull backstory: I've been job hunting since August and in between have gradually been going a bit loopy.
I've been hanging out with my friends & family, working part time at my lovely Saturday job and applying for jobs.
I applied for about four different volunteering placements (two of which more than once) and heard nothing back.
I've lost my creative buzz and love of reading and writing and have some days where I feel incredibly down.
I sometimes feel as if I have so much potential, so much energy and passion to pour into something and yet no opportunities. I feel held back from things I really want to achieve while I still can.
It may sound silly to some, but since losing both my cats it feels like my life has gone the wrong way. It feels as if I am in a parallel reality and the correct one is where my cat is still alive and I am happy.
I really want to stick at looking for a volunteering placement though and have become more interested in counselling and depression and general mental health.
When I get a job I want to take a few courses in Avian care and management, paleontology and creative writing or novel editing.
Until then I am just trying to keep the faith and focus on the things I do have.
Hope you are all well x
10 Comments
xx
I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time, but stay positive. It's amazing how much easier things get when you are positive, it has an impact on all sorts of things. But let me remind you, you've had tough times in the past, young as you are, and you came through them as a person who had learned something new. Try and take the positive out of the negative if you can. I hope you feel brighter soon.
You can be assured that we Cloudies empathise with your challenging situation - one which your focus and determination will overcome, I'm sure. Jx:)
I sometimes wonder if age has something to do with it...
I had several bouts of serious depression over the years. A lot of soul searching, insecurities, many many tears... and it's only now in my mid thirties where I have got to the point where I can say - this is me, take it or leave it!
I think life is hard, it's hard to know what to do... I changed career three times!
Not, that this helps but hopefully it'll make you appreciate that you are not alone. There are many of us out there who suffer from depression.
A small suggestion, which has changed my life in the past few months... what do you eat?
I used to eat a lot of sugar products... no fat, but plenty of sugar, and it made me go topsy turvy! I never realised until I tried a sugar free diet what it was doing to me... it might be worth a try. If you have a healthy diet already, please ignore!
The other is - do you exercise? Again, this is great for the mind and body... get some fresh air, go out for walks...
The last is supplements... do you take extra vitamins? Again, I have found this helps...
Anyway, please ignore my suggestions if you don't think they apply... they just worked for me. I have lost nearly two stone in five months and feel better than ever... I have no regrets. And staying at home with little one doesn't feel like such a chore anymore (I have to admit she's watching T.V. at the moment... bad parent! - then again she's just turned it off since she's had enough...so time to go) But, I do have a lot of cleaning to do now... bah humbug.
Anyway, big hug... and I hope things get better for you. Sometimes the black cloud hangs over our head but eventually it goes away... :)
Vanessa
xx
I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing some of the crap stuff that is thrown our way from time time. Ditto what everyone has said above - I won't repeat it all again - I've lost my Mum, my cousin in South Africa and my aunt (91) in the last 14 months and I've just found out my sister (estranged) is in hospital -she's an alcoholic which I didn't know. On those very dark days when I've felt that there is nothing positive left, I try and focus on something simple to enjoy - try and listen to something funny, study the complexities of a flower, listen to music, enjoy a cup of tea but mostly talk to someone else - a friend, family member - don't shut yourself away and try and cope along, it's rubbish!
My daughter also had a dark time - loss of her grandmother, being dumped by a long term boyfriend and having to sell their lovely house, being let down by a supposed best friend - she went to see an aquaintance of mine - a counsellor/hypnotherapist and it has really helped her focus on the positive stuff again.
I agree with Vanessa - make sure you eat loads of healthy fruit and veg stuff, not too much of the sugary stuff and as Wrathers said 'don't let the bastards grind you down'. My Mum used to say 'good things come to those who wait'............but sometimes it's hard to see those little good things when they happen because everything has taken on that black tinge. Don't give up, don't look down, keep looking ahead. It will happen for you, you're a bright, intelligent, sensible girl. Keep the faith, whatever it is!
Karenx
Click here to sign up now.